oh man here it comes
i don't know where my life is going. i have just been feeling so weird all the time lately. i don't even know why i am writing this, its pretty spur of the moment. but man i just get these feelings, they usually come at night, and my brian goes nuts. i usually don't go to bed before 4 because of them. i don't know, i don't get it. a lot of the time i feel like i need to be around people all the time and it just drives me nuts. am i just that lonely or something...? i think thats what it is. for a long time now i have just had this strong desire to be with someone and if you know me you know i haven't been with someone for a long time. there's so much that i want to share in my life right now i think. i mean fairly recently it has come close to something with a few times with some different people but it just doesn't work out. if its not there, you can't fake it. and i don't think i am too picky or afraid to commit. i just think that i have had a lot of the same situations in a row that have produced the same outcomes. so maybe i am just looking in the wrong places or go about it the wrong way. whatever is goin on, i just do not feel like myself or normal. but at the same time, there are parts of me that i feel are more like myself than ever before. and thats what makes me want to share that, blah blah blah. so yeah i keep goin in circles and i think too much. but there ya go...