If only you could design your own man...
I actually miss having work to do lol, the evenings are so dull!!
Ugh, I'm sick of it.
First thing that's annoying me at the moment. My best friend has a new boyfriend. He's nice enough, bit annoying. It basically means that she's always busy with him or talking to him or about him. Like now, I'm on MSN to her but she's not talking to me like we used to talk and I know why: because she's talking to him. If she's not with him, she's talking about him or to him on her phone or something. I would just like to have a bit of time with her to myself. I know that sounds selfish, but I haven't seen her for ages, I wanna know what else is going on in her life. I kinda want the old Jess back. I'm happy for her and all, but still. I asked her round for a coffee today but she was at school (she's a couple of years younger than me) so she rang me up after school and invited me round to hers. Off I went and guess who else was there? That's right, the boyfriend. So I just had a coffee with her mum and my mum whilst she went off with the boyf. Slightly rude I think. I may have to forgive her this time though, as apparently he had some stuff he needed to chat about. Hmm. Still annoyed me though. I'm going back to Uni on Sunday and this would probably have been the last time we could have had a get-together. I kind of feel we're drifting apart and I really don't want that to happen. But on the other hand I feel like it's only me who's putting all the effort into the friendship. I don't want to tell her that because she'll say "you wouldn't understand what it's like, as yoiu've never had a boyfriend" or something along those lines. That may be true, but if I ever do have a boyfriend, I'd try and make time for my friends too. Maybe it's because it's a new relationship. *sigh* I dunno. And she's just signed off MSN without saying goodbye. I shouldn't be angry over something so small, but look, I am. Rudeness IMO.
Second reason, and this one's quite stupid. James, my housemate who had a serious crush on me last term and I politely declined, pretty much has a new girlfriend. His first girlfriend. I should be happy for him, right? But I'm not. It actually kind of annoys me. I think I'm jealous lol, even though I don't want to go out with him. No more admirers for Megan :p Also (and this makes me sound such a bitch) he's not that good-looking. I think I am better looking than he is. So when he manages to find someone who is just as good looking as me or probably better looking; it doesn't do wonders for my self esteem: being left alone and feeling ugly lol. I keep telling myself it'll be different in America but I know it won't. I told myself it'd be different at Uni and it hasn't been, really. He's always talking about her and getting texts from her, or dropping hints in the conversation so that we'll ask him about her (I HATE when people do that so I deliberately avoid it lol). It also makes me the only single person in the house and I feel such a loser lol. If we all go out to a club or even just a bar, I feel like such a third-wheel. Ends up being me on my own, looking like a loser. Part of me is tempted to just get really drunk and bring some random guy home, but I know I'd regret it and hate myself for it. So I won't. I'll just be a lonely spinster with lots of cats, even though I hate cats :p
I like to think there's a Josh/McDreamy out there for everyone, but lately I'm not so sure.
I'm tired and bored now. Might go continue my Grey's marathon.
Ugh, I'm sick of it.
First thing that's annoying me at the moment. My best friend has a new boyfriend. He's nice enough, bit annoying. It basically means that she's always busy with him or talking to him or about him. Like now, I'm on MSN to her but she's not talking to me like we used to talk and I know why: because she's talking to him. If she's not with him, she's talking about him or to him on her phone or something. I would just like to have a bit of time with her to myself. I know that sounds selfish, but I haven't seen her for ages, I wanna know what else is going on in her life. I kinda want the old Jess back. I'm happy for her and all, but still. I asked her round for a coffee today but she was at school (she's a couple of years younger than me) so she rang me up after school and invited me round to hers. Off I went and guess who else was there? That's right, the boyfriend. So I just had a coffee with her mum and my mum whilst she went off with the boyf. Slightly rude I think. I may have to forgive her this time though, as apparently he had some stuff he needed to chat about. Hmm. Still annoyed me though. I'm going back to Uni on Sunday and this would probably have been the last time we could have had a get-together. I kind of feel we're drifting apart and I really don't want that to happen. But on the other hand I feel like it's only me who's putting all the effort into the friendship. I don't want to tell her that because she'll say "you wouldn't understand what it's like, as yoiu've never had a boyfriend" or something along those lines. That may be true, but if I ever do have a boyfriend, I'd try and make time for my friends too. Maybe it's because it's a new relationship. *sigh* I dunno. And she's just signed off MSN without saying goodbye. I shouldn't be angry over something so small, but look, I am. Rudeness IMO.
Second reason, and this one's quite stupid. James, my housemate who had a serious crush on me last term and I politely declined, pretty much has a new girlfriend. His first girlfriend. I should be happy for him, right? But I'm not. It actually kind of annoys me. I think I'm jealous lol, even though I don't want to go out with him. No more admirers for Megan :p Also (and this makes me sound such a bitch) he's not that good-looking. I think I am better looking than he is. So when he manages to find someone who is just as good looking as me or probably better looking; it doesn't do wonders for my self esteem: being left alone and feeling ugly lol. I keep telling myself it'll be different in America but I know it won't. I told myself it'd be different at Uni and it hasn't been, really. He's always talking about her and getting texts from her, or dropping hints in the conversation so that we'll ask him about her (I HATE when people do that so I deliberately avoid it lol). It also makes me the only single person in the house and I feel such a loser lol. If we all go out to a club or even just a bar, I feel like such a third-wheel. Ends up being me on my own, looking like a loser. Part of me is tempted to just get really drunk and bring some random guy home, but I know I'd regret it and hate myself for it. So I won't. I'll just be a lonely spinster with lots of cats, even though I hate cats :p
I like to think there's a Josh/McDreamy out there for everyone, but lately I'm not so sure.
I'm tired and bored now. Might go continue my Grey's marathon.