because dialogue is fun
also this scene is in my head and I don't know what to do with it:
situation: pre-landsmeet. Non-Warden Cousland and hardened!Alistair meet for the first time. She tries to seduce him. He is having None of That.
Elissa: Well, if it isn't Alistair Therrin, son of Maric and bastard heir to the throne of Ferelden. You look like Calian, you know. Or maybe its best to say you both take after Maric. (giggles) Look at that nose! Even if the lansmeet wanted to argue about your heritage they couldn't--that nose makes you a dead ringer for an heir of Calenhad alright, or so I've heard.
Alistair: And who are you, dear lady, to take such an interest in my nose?
Elissa: Your dream come true, of course. Or perhaps your worst nightmare. We shall see where fortune takes us. (bows) I am Teyrna Elissa of Highever, at your service.
Alistair: A Cousland, then?
Elissa: The Cousland, which is a far more dangerous prospect, I do believe. (pause) My family is dead.
Alistair: (winces) I'm sorry. I hadn't heard.
Elissa: Not your fault. (shrugs) On to business: you hope to be king, do you not?
Alistair: Not really, actually.
Elissa: (ignores him) Yes you do. The problem is that while you are indeed Maric's son, you are an unknown entity. Unlike Anora, the landsmeet has no idea what to expect out of you.
Alistair: I don't actually want--
Elissa: What I propose is this: you and I shall marry. The landsmeet gets its King of the Therrin bloodline, plus me, who they know can rule, and you get the throne. Everyone wins.
Alistair: (suspicious) And what do you get out of this situation, I wonder.
Elissa: What every little girl wants, I suspect. A pretty crown, a castle full of servants, (runs her hand down Alistair's chestplate) a handsome man to warm my bed at night?
Alistair: (jumps back) And what makes you think I would even want to go through with this plan?
Elissa: Because despite all the talk about how good a Queen Anora is, the only people she ever really helps are the nobles. You've seen the Alienage--how man elves has she starved to death? How many peasants has she ruthlessly exploited for her own gain? You want to do better than that, don't you? (touches him again) Besides, there are...benefits to such an arrangment that I don't think you are really considering.
Alistair: (catching on) Are you trying to seduce me?
Elissa: Is it working?
Alistair: (nervously) Of course not.
Elissa: Mmmm. You don't sound so sure about that...
(they make out)
(he tosses her into the river)
Alistair: If you think you can kiss me and become my queen just like that, you can forget it. I'm on to you. You want something--you wouldn't be trying so hard if you didn't.
Elissa: (soaking wet) You're smarter than you look.
The real question is where to go from here 'cause honey, this plot is nonexistent.
situation: pre-landsmeet. Non-Warden Cousland and hardened!Alistair meet for the first time. She tries to seduce him. He is having None of That.
Elissa: Well, if it isn't Alistair Therrin, son of Maric and bastard heir to the throne of Ferelden. You look like Calian, you know. Or maybe its best to say you both take after Maric. (giggles) Look at that nose! Even if the lansmeet wanted to argue about your heritage they couldn't--that nose makes you a dead ringer for an heir of Calenhad alright, or so I've heard.
Alistair: And who are you, dear lady, to take such an interest in my nose?
Elissa: Your dream come true, of course. Or perhaps your worst nightmare. We shall see where fortune takes us. (bows) I am Teyrna Elissa of Highever, at your service.
Alistair: A Cousland, then?
Elissa: The Cousland, which is a far more dangerous prospect, I do believe. (pause) My family is dead.
Alistair: (winces) I'm sorry. I hadn't heard.
Elissa: Not your fault. (shrugs) On to business: you hope to be king, do you not?
Alistair: Not really, actually.
Elissa: (ignores him) Yes you do. The problem is that while you are indeed Maric's son, you are an unknown entity. Unlike Anora, the landsmeet has no idea what to expect out of you.
Alistair: I don't actually want--
Elissa: What I propose is this: you and I shall marry. The landsmeet gets its King of the Therrin bloodline, plus me, who they know can rule, and you get the throne. Everyone wins.
Alistair: (suspicious) And what do you get out of this situation, I wonder.
Elissa: What every little girl wants, I suspect. A pretty crown, a castle full of servants, (runs her hand down Alistair's chestplate) a handsome man to warm my bed at night?
Alistair: (jumps back) And what makes you think I would even want to go through with this plan?
Elissa: Because despite all the talk about how good a Queen Anora is, the only people she ever really helps are the nobles. You've seen the Alienage--how man elves has she starved to death? How many peasants has she ruthlessly exploited for her own gain? You want to do better than that, don't you? (touches him again) Besides, there are...benefits to such an arrangment that I don't think you are really considering.
Alistair: (catching on) Are you trying to seduce me?
Elissa: Is it working?
Alistair: (nervously) Of course not.
Elissa: Mmmm. You don't sound so sure about that...
(they make out)
(he tosses her into the river)
Alistair: If you think you can kiss me and become my queen just like that, you can forget it. I'm on to you. You want something--you wouldn't be trying so hard if you didn't.
Elissa: (soaking wet) You're smarter than you look.
The real question is where to go from here 'cause honey, this plot is nonexistent.