fuck

[jakewinsalways]

last night i had a sad, hurtfull, depressing, angry, frustrating, honest conversation with an old friend who's opinion i used to value greatly. she was always someone besides the person i knew. she says ive changed though...for the worst. i think she may be right. the world has made me colder, less giving, harder, and less forgiving. im sorry. ive lost friends getting here and it wasnt worth it. i used to give myself to everyone. anyone who's done that before knows how bad that can make you feel... today she is coming over and kicking my ass. i gave her full permission to fuck me up as badly as she wants to. but its just her and me, and she doesnt get to use any weapons. i need something more than what i have. the person ive broken the most promises to is myself.

maybe it's always never

drink it away
let it come back tommorow
you'll find a way
in this shot sickness follows

maybe ill stay
and swallow your sorrow
swear i cant play
the promise was hollow

never today
and always tomorrow
wash it away
with the rains that dont follow

taste the decay
its easy to swallow
maybe someday
the truth i will borrow