(no subject)
My sister is here to visit for a few weeks.
Ive missed her like crazy.
but i dont however, miss the lies.
things with nick are... not going so well.
not that they arent going well, more like theyre not.. going at all.
we talk occasionally. But he is far too distant.
awkward even.
I cut most ties with scott.
Hes dating nicki now.
He cheated on her already.
Wonder how long it was before he cheated on me.
Still trying to make friends.
just making aquaintences.
Things with blade are eh.
i know he doesnt want a relationship, but his actions seem to say otherwise.
He invites me over to spend the night almost every night. And we dont even do anything. Just cuddle and fall asleep.
He always kisses me on my forehead, and my back. Wraps his arms around me until he falls asleep.
And when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he pulls me even closer if we've shifted apart during the night.
And just the way he holds me seems as if he actually feels something.
That or hes just a very good liar.
I got into college.
I believe I will attend there for about a year, then attempt to move back to MA and go to mass art or somewhere in Boston.
I need to stop looking at old pictures of old friends.
I miss having friends.
I also realized some things need to change. How i respect myself. And how much respect i give people that dont really deserve it. I need to start standing up for myself more.
My dad is getting married in september. She doesnt want my sisters or myself to be bridesmaids.
Just her sister.
I think thats bullshit.
I only moved half way across the country with them.
and lived with them for a year.
My dad needs to stop sucking at being a dad.
They also need to realize getting wasted is not the meaning of life.
And they dont realize just how much they blow me off to GET wasted.
And how much they disrespect me.
Or how i lock myself in the computer room whenever they are home, because all they do is put me down.
Or how i spend the night at peoples houses almost every night, just so i dont have to stay here.
We'll see how things turn out. As much as ive been bitching, things have been looking up.
Now all i need is a decent boyfriend.
I really wish nick would pull his head out of his ass.
Because he is honestly my dream guy.
More so than Pat was.
And that is hard for me to believe.
im going to stop settling for less. And telling people how happy i am with a certain guy when im really not.
And no more being promiscuous. By the way.
Ive missed her like crazy.
but i dont however, miss the lies.
things with nick are... not going so well.
not that they arent going well, more like theyre not.. going at all.
we talk occasionally. But he is far too distant.
awkward even.
I cut most ties with scott.
Hes dating nicki now.
He cheated on her already.
Wonder how long it was before he cheated on me.
Still trying to make friends.
just making aquaintences.
Things with blade are eh.
i know he doesnt want a relationship, but his actions seem to say otherwise.
He invites me over to spend the night almost every night. And we dont even do anything. Just cuddle and fall asleep.
He always kisses me on my forehead, and my back. Wraps his arms around me until he falls asleep.
And when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he pulls me even closer if we've shifted apart during the night.
And just the way he holds me seems as if he actually feels something.
That or hes just a very good liar.
I got into college.
I believe I will attend there for about a year, then attempt to move back to MA and go to mass art or somewhere in Boston.
I need to stop looking at old pictures of old friends.
I miss having friends.
I also realized some things need to change. How i respect myself. And how much respect i give people that dont really deserve it. I need to start standing up for myself more.
My dad is getting married in september. She doesnt want my sisters or myself to be bridesmaids.
Just her sister.
I think thats bullshit.
I only moved half way across the country with them.
and lived with them for a year.
My dad needs to stop sucking at being a dad.
They also need to realize getting wasted is not the meaning of life.
And they dont realize just how much they blow me off to GET wasted.
And how much they disrespect me.
Or how i lock myself in the computer room whenever they are home, because all they do is put me down.
Or how i spend the night at peoples houses almost every night, just so i dont have to stay here.
We'll see how things turn out. As much as ive been bitching, things have been looking up.
Now all i need is a decent boyfriend.
I really wish nick would pull his head out of his ass.
Because he is honestly my dream guy.
More so than Pat was.
And that is hard for me to believe.
im going to stop settling for less. And telling people how happy i am with a certain guy when im really not.
And no more being promiscuous. By the way.