a few days...
Lets see.. what a couple of days can do.... I guess before I even write this.. i want to thank Jennie for coming over at 2am to cheer me up.. I found myself crying last night because reality was becoming real. My mom has been in the hospital since Friday and she was suppose to be out on Monday morning. That did not happen, nor was her condition improving. Numerous tests and nothing was to be found. Not being able to help someone that you truely love is the worse feeling in the world. I felt as if my hands were tied and all I could do was stand by and watch. AS usual i wore my mask as if nothing were wrong.. Normal to the world.. but torn up on the inside when I lay my head down at night. It was starting to show at work, because I couldnt really concentrate. I am sorry that I have not been able to give my team 100% the past few days, on top of the emotional stress of my mother, I am SICK! I cant really take time off from work, cz there is no one to really cover this week. Brad wasnt feeling good either, nor were a few members of my staff. On the upside Brad bought me some cold medicine cz he knew I wouldnt leave him hangin.. *thanks*
My girls at Starbucks kept me hydrated with the best drinks as well.. I know that helped me keep going..
When I got home last night.. Steph came over for a bit and we watched Commander and Chief, a really good show on Tuesday nights with one of my favorite actresses Geena Davis! After that, she went home, Richard went to work on more homework.. and I went to bed. Not only could I not sleep.. but my mask came off.. and I found myself in countless tears. Im still not sure if they were tears of empathy or my own for me, but they were steady. Jen text me late.. then called.. I have never cried on the phone with anyone.. yet last night she shared a really intimate moment with me. I thank you for listening.. even though im sure you couldnt understand a word from my broken voice. I want you to know that I cherrish our friendship and I am here for you always. The night before last I was similar and KC was on the phone with me LATE. It was comforting to just listen.. he sang that was nice.. calming.. *thanks* Even though I didnt lead in to how much I was being affected.. I try not too.. I dont like to burden others with my problems. I know thats what friends are for, but I have always been the friend to listen and share feelings with, never have I had to be the one to share with. I do know that it was a relief to able to talk last night.
I spent the majority of the afternoon at the hospital with my Mom.. which I thoroughly enjoyed. After about 18746023805 tests.. they found out what was wrong.. the procedure to make her better took 30 min! She gets to come home tomorrow!! Im sooo excited. Thank you to ALL that prayed for her wellness. I deeply appreciate all close to me. oOo yeah.. and Diana at work.. THANKS for helping me with the Flowers that I bought for my mom.. YOU rock! Keith you too!!
My life is getting back to "normal" my mom is better, my stress level has gone down considerably and I am starting to feel better!
- jAi -
My girls at Starbucks kept me hydrated with the best drinks as well.. I know that helped me keep going..
When I got home last night.. Steph came over for a bit and we watched Commander and Chief, a really good show on Tuesday nights with one of my favorite actresses Geena Davis! After that, she went home, Richard went to work on more homework.. and I went to bed. Not only could I not sleep.. but my mask came off.. and I found myself in countless tears. Im still not sure if they were tears of empathy or my own for me, but they were steady. Jen text me late.. then called.. I have never cried on the phone with anyone.. yet last night she shared a really intimate moment with me. I thank you for listening.. even though im sure you couldnt understand a word from my broken voice. I want you to know that I cherrish our friendship and I am here for you always. The night before last I was similar and KC was on the phone with me LATE. It was comforting to just listen.. he sang that was nice.. calming.. *thanks* Even though I didnt lead in to how much I was being affected.. I try not too.. I dont like to burden others with my problems. I know thats what friends are for, but I have always been the friend to listen and share feelings with, never have I had to be the one to share with. I do know that it was a relief to able to talk last night.
I spent the majority of the afternoon at the hospital with my Mom.. which I thoroughly enjoyed. After about 18746023805 tests.. they found out what was wrong.. the procedure to make her better took 30 min! She gets to come home tomorrow!! Im sooo excited. Thank you to ALL that prayed for her wellness. I deeply appreciate all close to me. oOo yeah.. and Diana at work.. THANKS for helping me with the Flowers that I bought for my mom.. YOU rock! Keith you too!!
My life is getting back to "normal" my mom is better, my stress level has gone down considerably and I am starting to feel better!
- jAi -