(no subject)
I know that I should just walk away but I can't seem to make myself move. I know he shouldn't be in my thoughts but there he is. He hurt me and doesn't want the same thing that I do but I still stay. Why is this so hard to walk away from? Why do I care about him? I know that he only wants a friend with benefits yet I won't walk away from this. He's scared of getting hurt again and I already am. This is so horrible. I know that there is no real reason to stick around but I continue to do so. It's like watching a car crash, you just can't look away. I feel like I am watching myself make a big mistake and then sometimes I feel like I am doing the right thing. I know that we will never date each other again but does that mean that we can't be friends? I mean I am really good friends with someone I used to date so why can't this be the same way? Maybe it's just wishful thinking. It's like I can't let go because then the reality of not being wanted again would set in. I wish that I could just figure this out before it's too late.
The funniest thing just happened. I am always in the library at this time and my one friend knows it. He just walked right by me. I know he was looking for me. I wanted to see if he would be able to find me and realize that it was me but no such luck. He looked at me and didn't know it was me. He just walked through as if I wasn't here. It was so funny. I know I look different but is it really that different? I know that I went from being blonde to having brown hair but it's still me...I have gotten some pretty cool reactions to the new look. A lot of people have told me that I look hot and sexy. It's odd to think of myself like that. I just think that they are being nice. Some people aren't that happy with it but most people really like it. I can't wait to see everyone that I talk to just to see how they react. I want to see if I should keep it this way or try to go back to the way it was before...
Yesterday was just what I needed. I was able to see what really matters and I got to be surrounded by those I love. I needed to be with them in order to see that I wasn't completely lost. I just needed to wake up. I know that I have been depressed lately but I couldn't figure out why. It's because I have been pushing people away. I am still depressed but I feel better and I know with time it'll be okay. I will be okay again...Thanks guys, you know who you are...
The concert was so amazing. The bands were great. 311 was the best act. I was quite shocked. I wasn't that big of a fan but they are amazing live. I had so much fun with Angie, Chad, and Romo. I really had fun with Romo in the line for the bathroom. Of all places to meet a rockstar it had to be there. It was so great. I couldn't believe it. The singer for Social Code, one of the coolest bands, started to talk to us. He asked what we were waiting for and I told him, felt so lame. He stayed and talked to us. He put his arm around me. It was the best thing ever. One of the other members came up to us and signed the postcard that singer gave us, both of them signed it. Romo has a picture or him and her on her cell phone. It was so great. Even though Romo didn't know who they were at first, I knew. I was so excited! It was one of the best things to happen to me in awhile...I have a blast!
This is something that I need to share with the whole class...Okay that sounds so stupid but whatever. A guy that I was dating didn't even think that we would make it to Thanksgiving and it was in TWO WEEKS but I guy that I just met and am only friends with invited me to something that is in THREE MONTHS. The guy I was seeing didn't even think we would last TWO WEEKS but this guy thinks that we will still be talking in THREE MONTHS, does this seem odd to anyone else? The one that should have had more faith had like none. It doesn't make sense. Why can't the guys I date be like those that are my friends?
Romo~
I need help! I can't have feelings for him. He'll never like me. He'll never see me as anything more than a friend. This sucks. Don't tell anyone who I am talking about, please? I don't think I could handle it if everyone knew. I know that one reason should be enough to get this out of my head but even that didn't work. What am I going to do?
I still can't believe that Christmas is in 20 days. I can't believe that it's here. I am glad it's here. For the most part. The only bad part is working in retail. I just have to remember cookies and treats. I will get through this and won't let it ruin this year's Christmas...
The Cakes
The funniest thing just happened. I am always in the library at this time and my one friend knows it. He just walked right by me. I know he was looking for me. I wanted to see if he would be able to find me and realize that it was me but no such luck. He looked at me and didn't know it was me. He just walked through as if I wasn't here. It was so funny. I know I look different but is it really that different? I know that I went from being blonde to having brown hair but it's still me...I have gotten some pretty cool reactions to the new look. A lot of people have told me that I look hot and sexy. It's odd to think of myself like that. I just think that they are being nice. Some people aren't that happy with it but most people really like it. I can't wait to see everyone that I talk to just to see how they react. I want to see if I should keep it this way or try to go back to the way it was before...
Yesterday was just what I needed. I was able to see what really matters and I got to be surrounded by those I love. I needed to be with them in order to see that I wasn't completely lost. I just needed to wake up. I know that I have been depressed lately but I couldn't figure out why. It's because I have been pushing people away. I am still depressed but I feel better and I know with time it'll be okay. I will be okay again...Thanks guys, you know who you are...
The concert was so amazing. The bands were great. 311 was the best act. I was quite shocked. I wasn't that big of a fan but they are amazing live. I had so much fun with Angie, Chad, and Romo. I really had fun with Romo in the line for the bathroom. Of all places to meet a rockstar it had to be there. It was so great. I couldn't believe it. The singer for Social Code, one of the coolest bands, started to talk to us. He asked what we were waiting for and I told him, felt so lame. He stayed and talked to us. He put his arm around me. It was the best thing ever. One of the other members came up to us and signed the postcard that singer gave us, both of them signed it. Romo has a picture or him and her on her cell phone. It was so great. Even though Romo didn't know who they were at first, I knew. I was so excited! It was one of the best things to happen to me in awhile...I have a blast!
This is something that I need to share with the whole class...Okay that sounds so stupid but whatever. A guy that I was dating didn't even think that we would make it to Thanksgiving and it was in TWO WEEKS but I guy that I just met and am only friends with invited me to something that is in THREE MONTHS. The guy I was seeing didn't even think we would last TWO WEEKS but this guy thinks that we will still be talking in THREE MONTHS, does this seem odd to anyone else? The one that should have had more faith had like none. It doesn't make sense. Why can't the guys I date be like those that are my friends?
Romo~
I need help! I can't have feelings for him. He'll never like me. He'll never see me as anything more than a friend. This sucks. Don't tell anyone who I am talking about, please? I don't think I could handle it if everyone knew. I know that one reason should be enough to get this out of my head but even that didn't work. What am I going to do?
I still can't believe that Christmas is in 20 days. I can't believe that it's here. I am glad it's here. For the most part. The only bad part is working in retail. I just have to remember cookies and treats. I will get through this and won't let it ruin this year's Christmas...
The Cakes