Fiction: Shattered Reflection Chapter 15
Title: Shattered Reflections
Chapter: 15
Author: Jailynn
Word Count: 2797
Couple/Show: Ashlee and Rocky, Guiding Light
Disclaimer: Not mine at all
Summary: Ashlee moved away from Springfield after Coop's death and Rocky came back. What if Rocky was Coop's twin? What if Ashlee didn't know that? What then?
Warning: Not beta'd, mistakes a plenty...please forgive me,
Type: Angst, romance
Acknowledgements: Thank you to Jenny for the beautiful banner.
Feedback: Please I love and need feedback! I'm not afraid to beg... *begs* Please!
Rating: PG-13
==15==15==
Doris sat at the table eating her tasteless, but heart healthy breakfast when Ashlee came down dressed in a colorful blue and white sundress that grazed the tops of her calves. Half of her honey blonde hair was pulled back with two silver clips, keeping her locks from hiding her face. When the fork was half way to her mouth Doris stopped, she watched her daughter move around the dining room, pouring coffee into a mug. She saw it instantly. Ashlee was lighter; it was like half ton weights had been physically removed from her shoulders. She placed the fork was her egg whites on the plate and waited patiently for her beautiful daughter to turn around.
Ashlee grinned brilliantly, humming quietly to herself, taking a seat directly across from her. “Good Morning, mom,” her voice was even different. There wasn’t that heaviness that used to always accompany her words. “It’s a beautiful day.” Cassandra, a thirty-five year old woman with light cherry blonde hair, walked out with a large bowl of cut fruit. “Thank you, Cassie.” Ashlee took the bowl from her and Cassie smiled leaving the mother and daughter alone again. “Can you pass the paper please?” Doris handed her the folded newspaper, still quietly watching her daughter. She took the news from Doris’s hand and smiled just as brightly as she did when she walked down. “Thanks.”
The questions burned the back of her mind as the honey haired beauty in front of her bent her head and started reading the morning news as if she wasn’t acting completely different. Doris cupped her hands around her tea cup and sipped the lukewarm liquid. She was desperate to know what put her daughter in such a great mood, but at the same time she was just relieved Ashlee looked so free. If anyone deserved to have that feeling it was her. She lifted the fork of egg whites to her lips and slowly pulled the food off of it and into her mouth. She chewed with practiced slowness, her eyes still trained on Ashlee. After a minute or so, her daughter slowly raised her head and stared back at her mother. “What,” she asked, spearing a strawberry with her own fork.
She licked her lips and shrugged, trying to think of a way to put into words what she felt. It was interesting how much has changed in four years. Just a couple of years ago, no thought whatsoever would be put into what she said. She would simply speak and let the chips fall where they were meant to. Now she weighed her words, put quiet contemplation into how they would sound and how they would be perceived. Some of that came from being mayor and realizing that she had to watch her step and part of that came from being saddled with a heart problem she didn’t want anyone to know about. Of course, Buzz’s influence didn’t exactly hurt either. Her damaged heart fluttered a little at the thought of him, she shook the thought from her head and licked her lips again. Ashlee continued to stare at her, waiting for her answer, worry starting to bleed through her deep blue eyes. Doris picked up her napkin from her lap and laid it on the table next to her plate. “Nothing, you just seem really happy this morning. Did something good happen last night? I noticed you got in kind of late.” At Ashlee’s look she admitted. “I didn’t sleep that well.” She shrugged again. “Its part of the…” she paused, not wanting to say the words ‘heart deformity’. “Well its part of the whole illness.”
“Have you been getting sicker,” Ashlee asked panicked. “Do I need to call the doctor? I know it’s Saturday, but I’m sure Don will come here if you need him to or do you need me to take you to the hospital?” She got up from her chair and stood beside her mother, obviously ready to get her keys at Doris’s word. Taking Ashlee’s hand in hers, she sighed. It was very ironic that it took this to get mother and daughter on the same page. She couldn’t quite believe the tentative bridge that was building between them. It was everything she always wanted and could never seem to achieve. “Mom,” Ashlee asked, tightening her hold on Doris’s shaking hand.
“Honey,” she smiled softly at her beautiful, special daughter. “Sit down and enjoy your breakfast. I’m fine. Having restless nights is part of the package with this deformity. You know that. I know that you’ve been reading up on it.” Ashlee slightly relaxed, but tension was still clearly in her shoulders and written on her face. Giving Ashlee’s hand a squeeze, she nodded her head toward where she was sitting previously. “Go before your fruit gets warm,” her baby girl hesitated a second then nodded, releasing her hand and returning to her chair. Once she was seated, Doris lifted her mug and sipped at the liquid inside. She mulled over Ashlee’s words and paused on the word “Don”. She placed the cup back on the saucer and locked eyes on her daughters, “Was that who you were with last night?” At Ashlee’s raised eyebrow, she clarified, “Don. You said Don and I know he wanted your number… are you seeing him socially?”
Ashlee played with a piece of sliced banana and licked her lips. “I did go out with him last night, yeah, but nothing happened. We went for drinks and then ended up at the roadhouse on highway 123.” She paused, deliberately taking a bite of her fruit to buy her time. She eyed the paper at her side and Doris got a bad feeling she knew exactly what was coming next. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she waited for the words to exit Ashlee’s mouth. “We ran into Rocky and a date while we were there,” her daughter said softly and she raised her eyebrows. ‘Rocky and a date.’ Maybe she was wrong or, she sighed softly to herself while watching her daughter spear a piece of pear thoughtfully, she was right on the mark. “Don dropped me off here after we saw them and I didn’t want to go to bed so I went to the beach and walked around.”
“By yourself,” Doris exclaimed. “Ashlee, I,” she shook her head. The headache building behind her eyes built even stronger. “I don’t like the idea of you wondering the beach alone. Something could have happened to you. What if…” she pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes tightly. “I really wish you wouldn’t have done that. That place isn’t as safe as it used to be.” She opened her mouth to say more, but realized she just couldn’t get the words she needed to across to her daughter without falling back into that domineering witch of a mother that Ashlee absolutely hated and only tolerated.
Placing her fork in the bowl of fruit, her daughter leveled her with an even look. “I’m fine mom,” she held her hand up when Doris opened her mouth again. “I’m fine. I actually think going to the lighthouse cove did me some good. I needed to clear my head and think. There is so much that I hadn’t dealt with and last night, I did.” A smile curled her full lips. “I feel like I can finally move on with my life without feeling like I’m doing something wrong. It’s nice not to feel guilt for…being alive while Coop isn’t. Or feeling like I was somehow to blame for what happened to him, even if that role I played was a minor one. For the first time, I can think about him and not want to curl up and die.” She sighed. “I don’t think Coop would be angry with me for finding someone else anymore.”
“Is that how you felt before? Ashlee, Coop’s death was tragic and sad, but it was never your fault. He made some bad choices and that led to him dying way too young. I wish I had known that’s why you felt so guilty and sad for so long.” Doris licked her lips, feeling like a failure. She should have realized Ashlee would place unnecessary blame on her shoulders. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize… I should have known what was happening. I should have realized that was one of the reasons you wanted to move away and stopped wanting to know about the Coopers.”
Her daughter shook her head. “I didn’t want anyone to know. It was easier to push the shame down and just exist. But I don’t want to do that anymore. I actually want to look forward to today and tomorrow and the day after that without feeling like I’m somehow not honoring Coop’s memory because I might be happy that day.” She played with another strawberry and Doris saw the beginnings of a real smile start to form. “And I think I could find the kind of happiness I had with Coop with…” She looked into her daughter’s crystal azure eyes and knew for a fact that she was right along, “Rocky. I’m not saying I will but maybe…I don’t know. I haven’t felt so nervous around a guy since Coop.”
Doris nodded. It’s what she’s suspected would happen since they met. It’s what Buzz and she always thought would happen. She clasped her hands together under the table and fought her natural urge to plot against the pairing of her daughter and Buzz’s other son. She didn’t want to ruin the peace that was between them, but Doris knew what kind of guy Rocky was. While Coop ended up being just the man Ashlee needed and Doris would admit to being wrong about them, Rocky was someone that lived too close to the edge for her liking. Choosing her words carefully, she said, “Have you talked to Rocky about this?”
“No,” her daughter shook her head. “I’m planning on heading over to his place today. Listen, mom, I know that you are nervous about Rocky and frankly, I am too, but he hasn’t shown me a reason to not trust him. When I found out about your illness, I got really drunk and,” she blushed, obviously embarrassed. “I did some things I’m not proud of, but he didn’t take advantage of me and he could have. He might be completely wrong, but I want a chance to find out for myself and I want you to be supportive of my decision.”
“Okay,” she nodded to her daughter reluctantly. “I won’t interfere, but if he hurts you, I will make his life a living hell while I still have enough strength to do so.” She narrowed her ice blue eyes at Ashlee. “Understand?”
“Yeah,” her baby nodded with a slight smile. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you mom.”
==15==15==
Rocky rolled onto his side on the couch and groaned. The pain in his neck, back and shoulders was intense from the cramped position he had to sleep. Running a hand down his bare chest he yawned. He stretched his arms high above his head and swung his legs over the side of the sofa. He rubbed the back of his neck and thought about the night before. Kendra laid the seduction on thick. She was determined that they have sex and that he would enjoy himself. She even offered to do all the work. He shook his head and wandered into his kitchen. Somehow he was able to get her to understand that they didn’t have to do anything. Rocky sighed, ‘She probably thinks I’m a pansy now.’
Turning on the facet he filled the tea kettle with water and set it on the stove. He really couldn’t believe he turned her down now that he had time to think about it. What the hell was he thinking? A beautiful, desirable, sexy, willing woman wanted to fuck his bloody brains out for the night and he stopped. There was something wrong with him. Rocky closed his eyes and shook his head. Ashlee’s face floated in his mind’s eye. Her luscious honey blonde locks curling around her sweet face, her deep blue orbs dancing like stars… he rolled his lips together to hold in the groan. Yes there was something seriously wrong with him.
He turned the eye of the stove on and watched the flame lick the underside of the kettle. He turned and sat at this small round kitchen table. After he finally convinced Kendra that he didn’t want to have sex with her last night, but he was still very interested in doing other stuff, the night progressed much easier. Rocky rested his head on his hand as the images of the night before played like a movie in his head. They kissed on the couch, petting each other quite heavily; her lips were thinner than Ashlee’s were. He realized that right away. Her body wasn’t as soft either. Ashlee had curves that seemed designed for his body, while Kendra’s form was much more bony. Her breasts didn’t fit right in his hands, too small, while Ashlee’s felt right against his palm. In the end, he realized that he didn’t desire Kendra in the same way he desired Ashlee.
Which really sucked! He couldn’t understand why after just a week, Ashlee had managed to work so completely into his system that he couldn’t get her out, even with the help of another woman. The kettle squealed loudly behind him and he stood to move it off the burner before it woke up Kendra. He pulled a tea bag down from the box on the shelf and grabbed a cup from the cabinet right next to it. He deposited the bag in the mug and poured the scalding hot water over the Earl Gray bag. He placed the kettle back on the stove on a different burner and brought his mug with him to the table. Around four in the morning, Kendra finally went to sleep in his arms and he carried her to his bed. Once again she looked and felt wrong in both places. He sighed and carefully sipped from the drink in his hand.
Rocky turned toward his front door when someone knocked on it. He set his mug on the table and grabbed the jeans he wore the night before from the floor next to the couch, sliding them over his black boxers. He thought about trying to find his shirt then realized he didn’t much care. It was ten o’clock on a Saturday and he was still tired from last night. He walked over to the door and pulled it open just as Ashlee raised her hand to knock again. He sucked in a breath and she licked her lips, her blue eyes trailing down his chest. “Uh,” she started, swallowing roughly.
Leaning against the door frame, Rocky looked her up and down. The sundress she was wearing hugged her upper body like a second skin, accentuating her gorgeous breasts. He smirked slightly. She looked beautiful and he knew she looked that way for him. Tall guy must not have been what she wanted. He couldn’t help but be a little happy about that. “Good morning, luv, how was your date last night?”
“Well,” she played with the strap from her purse and licked her lips again. “Can I come in? I really need to talk to you.” He took a step back and let her in. She slowly entered his apartment, looking left and right before turning back to him. “I was…You see, I’m…” she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking, about us, and I was hoping that maybe…”
“Rocky,” Kendra called from the doorway of his bedroom. Ashlee’s eyes got wide and she spun on her heels to face the other girl. Kendra walked more fully into the room wearing only his shirt. “Oh, I didn’t know you had company.”
Ashlee turned back to face him and he knew his features must have been painted with guilt. Hurt, jealousy and defeat warred within her classically beautiful blue eyes. She swallowed and said softly, “I didn’t know he had company either.” She walked quickly around him. “I’ll just be going now.”
He watched her walk out of his door, waiting half a second before he followed her. “Ashlee wait!” She rushed to her car as fast as he could. Rocky slammed his fist into the wall as she drove out of the parking lot. “Damn it to effing hell,” he growled before walking back into his apartment. He shut the door and rubbed his forehead with his thumb. “We need to talk.”
End Chapter 15
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