Fiction: Shattered Reflection chapter 11
Sorry this post is so late. I'm still not feeling the greatest so I didn't re-read the chapter. I really hope it's okay. Please let me know. I'm not really sure if I should continue after this chapter. *sigh* I'm not satisfied with it at all.
Title: Shattered Reflections
Chapter: 11
Author: Jailynn
Word Count: 2471
Couple/Show: Ashlee and Rocky, Guiding Light
Disclaimer: Not mine at all
Summary: Ashlee moved away from Springfield after Coop's death and Rocky came back. What if Rocky was Coop's twin? What if Ashlee didn't know that? What then?
Warning: Not beta'd, language
Type: Angst, romance
Acknowledgements: Thank you to Jenny for the beautiful banner.
Feedback: Please I love and need feedback! I'm not afraid to beg... *begs* Please!
Rating: PG-13
==11==11==
He held her against him, cradling her head to his chest and ran his hand through her short blonde hair. She curled her fingers into the material of his black t-shirt as her heart broke inside of her. Rocky really wished he could give her something, some small slice of hope but he was at a loss. This wasn’t who he was. This wasn’t what he was about. This was Coop. Coop was the twin with all the right words and the comforting hugs. Coop was the one that knew how to make a woman feel better with just a touch, a hug or an encouraging smile. His father was right about him. He didn’t like to deal with the rough stuff. Rocky liked to be free and when things got too complicated he liked to leave. In fact he did leave most times, okay every time, the situation got too personal. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes.
Ashlee’s forehead pressed into the side of his chin and her lips trembled against his neck. Tears wet the side of his throat. He knew that she was devastated, still drunk and broken, but all he wanted to do was kiss her. The light scent of her cherry blossom shampoo tickled his nose. He inhaled deeply to get as much of her fragrance as he could. His mind slipped into memories of her lips sliding against his. Her body moving in time with his body. The moans that escaped her as he took her nipple into his mouth. Rocky rolled his lips together to stop the groan from being heard. His body tightened as the memories pounded into him. He could feel her body over him, hot and wild, as they kissed and touched.
She sniffled and pulled away from him. Rocky opened his eyes slowly to look into hers. The blue orbs were red and puffy and still shone with tears. They were still the most beautiful eyes he could ever recall seeing. He used his thumb to wipe some of the moisture from her cheeks. She inhaled sharply at the action. He pulled his finger away, assuming he had done something wrong. Damn it, he wasn’t Coop. He didn’t know how to handle this. The frustration of his current situation and the uncomfortable feeling was making him anxious and jumpy, stopped for just one second when she took his hand in hers. Ashlee’s wide blue eyes held his for a moment than dropped to their joined hands. Rocky stared, confused, at the crown of her head.
Ashlee shook her head and started to stand up. He watched her then followed her actions. She swayed on her feet, falling into him. Rocky gripped her upper arms and her hands came to rest on his chest. She refused to meet his eyes. An awkward feeling settled between them and he knew he did something wrong. He just didn’t know what he had done. He never wished he was Coop more than he did right now with Ashlee. God he hated that he didn’t know what to do. This was why he didn’t stay for the tough parts of relationships. It was better to just have fun and leave. He knew this, which is why he couldn’t understand his desire to stay with her. What was it about Ashlee Wolfe that made him want to take care of her?
Rocky could understand feeling that way about Daisy or Marina. They were his family. It was his duty to want to and to actually feel protective of them…but Ashlee. It didn’t make any sense to him. In fact he was getting freaked out by these unfamiliar feelings. He made sure she was steady and then took a step back from her. She opened her mouth, but he didn’t give her a chance to say anything. Turning his back on her, Rocky walked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. He looked at the bed; the comforter was rumbled from her sensual body. “I’m going, uh,” he turned and watched her bite her lower lip. “Can I use your shower to clean up?” He nodded, swallowing roughly. His mind filled with images of her wet and naked in his shower. ‘Oh sweet bloody hell,’ he thought. “Can you get me my,” she blushed. “Uh, can you find me my shirt please?”
“Yeah, luv,” his voice deepened slightly. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Yeah I’ll bring it to you. There are some fresh towels under the sink.” Rocky opened his mouth to say something else. Ashlee waited half way behind the door. Her head and left shoulder were the only parts of her that he could see. Ashlee’s pale, beautiful skin shined in the slight sunlight that filtered through the curtains of his room. He licked his bottom lip and shook his head. Suddenly all words left him, all thought left him. The only thing that he could feel was the need to touch her, kiss her, and take her to his bed. “I’ll be back with your shirt.”
She nodded her head and then disappeared behind the door. He stood in the room listening to the sounds coming from his bathroom. The shower turned on and he held his breath. Closing his eyes, he imagined her under the spray, her hands cupped together, her body becoming slick with water and soap, her eyes closed and her mouth parted slightly. The picture was so clear in his mind he felt the blood rush south. He shook his head and did something he has never done before, he ran from a bedroom before he could give into the desire to open that door and join her in the shower. Rocky walked into the living looking left and right for where her tank top dropped on the floor. He found it draped over one of his lamps. Normally he would smirk and pocket that picture for a joke later, but this time he just didn’t feel like laughing.
A part of him wondered what might have happened between them had they actually had sex the night before. What would it be like between them had she never said Coop’s name or if she hadn’t been reeling from finding out about her mother. He dropped to the couch. It would have felt so good, she did feel so good, but even he knew that had she not been drunk and hurting what little that took place wouldn’t have. Ashlee didn’t seem like that kind of girl and he wasn’t the boyfriend type of guy. Rocky rested his head in his hands. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe he should just leave her alone. Maybe he should just leave town like he planned. Find another place, start over and live his life the way he’s lived it for years. It was easier not feel to this way. It was easier not to care about the woman in his room. He growled and stood up from the couch. This was ridiculous. He was making more out of this then there was. Ashlee was just a beautiful girl. He’s met beautiful women in the past. He’s had beautiful women in his bed. There was nothing special about the woman in his shower right now, Rocky told himself as he walked back into his bedroom.
Walking into the bedroom he strolled over to the bathroom door just as the shower turned off. Rocky held his breath then knocked lightly on the door. He didn’t get a response so he walked in with the intention of leaving the tank top on the counter and walking out. What he intended went right out the window as soon as he looked up. Ashlee stepped out of the shower with a blue towel wrapped around her, her short hair hung in ropes and some clung to her face as she bent down to pick up her discarded clothes. Rocky held his breath at the view he got of the tops of her gorgeous milky white breasts. The warmth of the shower water gave her skin a pink hue. He licked his lips and she stood up straight. Their eyes locked. His hand actually shook as he placed the top on the counter and as if being pulled by some invisible force, he walked over to her. Her hand clutched the towel tighter to her chest. Her head tilted up the closer he got and he leaned his down. There was only a breath between them, only half a centimeter between her sweet, moist lips and his. He hovered there, waiting for her to push him away or pull him closer. When she didn’t do either, he worked his hand into her wet hair and pulled her closer. Their lips crashed together in an explosion of need and want. His heart pounded right out of his chest and he snaked his tongue between her parted lips. She moaned deep in her throat, using her free hand to hold him to her.
As quick as the kiss started though is as quick as she ended it. Ashlee pushed away, tearing her mouth from his. Taking a couple steps back, she shook her head. “I can’t,” she whispered. He couldn’t tell if she was talking to him or to herself. Her eyes stayed trained on the floor, but he could tell from the way she was holding herself she was moments away from breaking. “I can’t,” she said softly again, only this time she was looking at him. Her blue eyes were filled with sadness and regret, self-loathing and confusion. “I’m sorry. Please Rocky, just leave me alone.”
The unexpected pain he felt at those words shocked the hell out of him. He told Dorrie that he would leave Ashlee alone as soon as she told him to and he was going to keep his word. Nodding his head, Rocky walked out of the bathroom and kept on going until he was in his kitchen which was past his living room. He stopped at his sink and hung his head. All at once he realized that he was fooling himself before. Ashlee was more than just a beautiful girl. She was completely out of his league. Coop was the right Cooper twin for her. Rocky just didn’t have what she needs…and he never will.
==11==11==
Ashlee walked into the mansion with a heavy heart and a hurting head. She had no idea what to say to her mother or how she was supposed to act. Her vacation in Springfield was only supposed to last a week. But she couldn’t leave now. She eased the door closed and stood in the walkway. Turning to the left, she saw her mother sitting in the chair waiting for her. Ashlee pulled her shoes off, carrying them in her hand as she prepared herself for what was about to come. She slowly entered the sitting room and took a seat opposite her mother. Her eyes searched Doris’s face for cracks or for signs. She didn’t see any. Suddenly anger flashed white hot inside of her. How could her mother keep this from her? How could she not tell her only daughter that she could die? What kind of mom does that? Taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth. The words, laced with venom, fell from her lips like ice chips. “When were you going to tell me?”
Doris’s ice blue eyes got wide but that was her only show of surprise. She had learned over the years not to give too much away, both as a politician and as a lawyer. Her mother simply picked at the material of her tan pants. Ashlee wanted some sort of reaction. She wanted to her mom to explain, to do something. She wanted to know that this was some sort of joke and what she read was wrong. She wanted her life to be normal again. Ashlee knew that was selfish, but damn it, she wanted to be selfish. She couldn’t handle it if her mother really was ill and leaving her alone. God she couldn’t handle being alone. Not now that Coop was gone. He was the only person that she could count on besides her mother. How could she face the world without either one in it?
The anger she felt before bubbled up into a molten hot tornado of rage. She stood up and paced the room, feeling restless and uneasy. “How could you not tell me? What were you waiting for, huh?” She spun around and leveled her quiet, still mother with a glare. “Did you want me to read about your death in the newspaper? Answer me!”
“What do you want me to say?” Doris asked in the smallest voice Ashlee had ever heard.
Fear tightened around her heart. She didn’t have to tell her anymore. The words were unnecessary because that voice told her all she needed to know. Ashlee reached blindly for the chair behind her. She felt all the anger leave her in a rush to be replaced with terror. Her mother really was dying. Ashlee swallowed against the lump in her throat. “How long have you known?”
“For about a year,” Doris answered. She stood up and walked to the window, looking out at the grounds. “Buzz forced me to go to the hospital. I thought it was the flu or something similar to that.” She turned back to Ashlee and clasped her hands in front of her. “I wanted to tell you, but you’re still so devastated over Coop. I didn’t want to cause you anymore pain.”
“So you kept it a secret,” Ashlee shook her head in disbelief. “How was that supposed to limit the amount of pain I felt mom? Who else knows?”
“Just Buzz,” Doris took her seat again and leaned forward. “I’m waiting for a new heart, Ashlee. I’m taking medicine. I’m living with this, but I really did hate keeping it a secret from you. I know we haven’t always been close, in fact most would say that I deserve the “worse mother” award, but I do love you. And I’ve never wanted to cause you pain. I know you probably don’t believe me, but I really was trying to protect you. Coop’s death was one of the darkest times in your life and you are still going through it. I didn’t want to add to that.”
Ashlee looked into her mother’s eyes and swallowed. She believed her. She believed that in her own twisted way, Doris really was trying to spare her anymore hurt. Ashlee got up from her chair and walked over to where her mother was sitting. She knelt in front of her and nodded. “Okay,” she whispered. “Where do we go from here?”
Chapter 12 is up to you. Please let me know what you think. It really means the world to me and it would be a great dose of medicine. *begs*