Christmas Gift! To: Aus - From: Jai
Sorry it took me so long Aus. I hope that you like your gift. *is nervous*
Aus, you wanted: Coop/Ashlee, get away from Springfield and meet up again in Oakdale. I really hope I got this right.
Title: Starting Again
Rating: PG
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Her bags were packed. The plane ticket sat on the counter next to her keys and purse. Everything was ready for the next adventure of her life. One step closer to a new future, one step further away from a past she’d like to forget. Well she’d like to forget some of her past anyway. Ashlee turned around looking at her empty apartment. The only things left were a picture in a silver frame and a book sitting innocently on an otherwise empty shelf.
The items looked liked they couldn’t harm a fly. How could a book and a picture hurt someone? Her hands shook as she pushed her hair over her shoulder. She knew how they could. The innocent things could remind her of what she lost. Of what she will never get back again, her last chance ran out and it was game over. She licked her bottom lip, pulling the plump flesh between her teeth.
With more resolve than she thought she had, Ashlee walked the length of the room and pulled the items down. The book felt heavy in her hand. Regrets and memories were adding more weight to it. She shoved the book into a trash bag at her feet. She couldn’t own it anymore. She couldn’t look at it anymore. She was about to drop the picture, frame and all, into the trash next then stopped. She touched the people in the photo.
Their faces were so happy, so alive. Ashlee almost didn’t recognize herself. Was that really her? Was she ever that free? Coop’s smile drew her eye. He still looked like that. His blue green eyes bright with excitement, love shining from deep within him it almost blinded her. She turned the frame over and extracted the picture, laying the empty frame on her suitcase, she stared at the couple. For months she’s been struggling, trying to find who she really was, where she really belonged. Demons nipped at her heels, clawed at her back and took chunks of her flesh while she searched.
The fire of hell was more than just flames licking at your heels. It was regrets coming back to haunt you, dreams you let slip through your fingers, it was memories of happier times shoved carelessly in your face and it was heartbreak on repeat over and over. Somehow she pushed through it. She walked over the hot coals, ran through the agonizing flames and evaded the devil when he sought her out. Ashlee made it because of this photograph. This one moment of shining light, hope that never quite died when it should have. She always believed that he would be there on the other side.
She took for granted that he would open his arms and welcome her back. Ashlee took them for granted. Now she realized that hell had one more trick up its sleeve. The final trick was the fact that Coop wasn’t on the other side. He wasn’t waiting for her to conquer her fears and battle the darkness that always surrounded her. The final truth that got revealed to her was that he moved on to someone else, someone older than her, someone with more experience, someone that was different and someone that brought a different smile to his lips.
Ashlee folded the picture and stuck it in her back pocket. She opened her suitcase, stuffing the frame deep inside. The cab honked outside. She took a deep breath, her heart shook in her chest. She grabbed her final bag from the floor and slung it over her shoulder. The quiet of the apartment was unsettlingly familiar to the emptiness in her soul. Ashlee hung her head, taking her purse, keys and ticket from the counter. It was time to start a new life somewhere else.
It was time to begin again. It was time to let go of her past and maybe find her future. She hoped Oakdale was a much happier place than Springfield.
==++==
“We can’t do this anymore,” she whispered. The sentence was one he knew could come at anytime, but he never really expected it. “Alan, he knows and I don’t know what he will do if we continue.” She wrung her hands together. They were shaking slightly.
“Beth,” Coop urged his voice not to quake but knew he didn’t pull it off. “You want to be with me. Alan doesn’t treat you right and I can handle him.” He went to walk toward her, she took a step back. “Just stay,” he licked his lips. “We can handle it. Just stay with me.”
Coop quietly watched the moment unfold. His stomach in knots, his heart was shredding to pieces. Beth shook her head. The ‘I’m sorry’ was written clearly in her eyes. Her choice was made and it wasn’t him. It would never be him. He heard the words that she didn’t say. It felt like she was slapping him across the face. His faith was once again placed in the wrong hands. His freely given soul was thrown back at him. He licked his lips, conscious of the time they had left. Beth turned her back on him, leaving him standing in the ski lodge.
He watched her disappear then his knees buckled underneath him. Coop’s head dropped, air leaving his lungs. It felt like he was suffocating. How could this happen again? How could he get it wrong again? He rubbed the back of his neck. As sad as he was he didn’t have any tears prickling the backs of his eyes like he did when Ashlee walked away from him. He stood on shaky legs. If Alan knew…Coop shuddered.
Alan only seemed truly scary when his family was being threatened. He only lashed out when he felt like something of his was being taken. Coop had no delusions. He knew that he was playing with fire when he started the relationship with Beth. He knew that in the end nothing good would come of it, but he latched onto it because it stopped his brain. There were no thoughts when he was with her. There were no memories of walks in the park with another blond and her large gray dog. There was nothing but blessed numbness. Beth was like his Novocain. One hit and he was able to survive.
He walked around the log cabin that was romantically lit with candles. He blew each of them out one by one. Coop fell onto the edge of the bed. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t go back to Springfield with Alan waiting to crush him. He didn’t want to go back to Springfield anyway. As much as he loved his family, he hated the town now. Only bad happened there. Only heartbreak seemed to follow him around. Coop searched the cabin for the map he saw earlier and pulled it out.
Looking over the different names of towns, he zoned in on one off to the side. The place looked like it would be small. It seemed like the perfect place to start over where no one would know him. He took out his cell phone and dialed the airport. “Hi,” he said once he reached the ticket counter. “I need a flight for Oakdale. The earliest one you have the better. I’d love to leave tonight.”
==++==
Ashlee pushed the door to Java open and fumbled with the newspaper while trying to talk to her mother on her cell phone. She waved to Noah behind the counter, sitting in her normal seat. In the five months since she moved here a lot of wonderful things started happening. She got a job at WOAK working with Kim Hughes. She got a killer apartment at the Lakeview and met some great people her own age.
A couple of people became her best friends almost instantly, Noah being one of them. Everything was moving in the right direction. On the outside it seemed like she had all she could ever want. A great job, awesome new friends, a great place to live…it was only at night the truth was revealed. It was only when she was alone that the tears started. Ashlee kept the picture of Coop and she in the bottom of her night stand drawer. She pulled it out more than she should. She caressed his face and wondered if he found what he always wanted.
She shook her head and tried to focus on the conversation her mother was still having with her. “Mom,” Ashlee sighed. “I’m sure everything will work out. You caught Grady. Bill was cleared. No one is going to kick you out of the mayor’s mansion for getting it wrong.” She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I do understand that politics is all about perception, but mom you were elected and haven’t gone down in the opinion polls so…” She rested her forehead against her palm. “Mom, please stop stressing. I have to go. I’ll talk with you later. Bye,” she hung up just as Noah sat down. “She is freaking nuts.”
Noah laughed. “Are you coming over to the farm tonight for Luke’s surprise party?”
Ashlee sipped the coffee he placed in front of her and nodded. “I’ll be there. I can’t believe you managed to keep it a secret from him.”
“Keep what a secret from whom,” Luke asked as he took a seat next to them. Ashlee’s coffee burnt her lip. Noah looked like a deer caught in the headlights and they both stared at Luke. “Okay, so I take it I’m the him you two are talking about,” he grinned at his boyfriend. “What have you been keeping from me?”
“Uh, well, actually,” Noah leaned over slightly and smiled at him. “I was going to surprise you later, but since you caught me,” he turned to Ashlee and she tensed. She wondered what was going on in that brain of his. “I was trying to get Ashlee to the farm tonight so that I could set up a date between Aaron and her.”
This time Ashlee choked on the sip of coffee. Luke stared at his boyfriend in disbelief. “Why would you keep that from me? I’ve been saying for the past couple of weeks that we need to set them up,” Luke turned a teasing smile on her. “Heaven knows she can’t find a date on her own.” She instinctively kicked him in the shin. “Ouch,” Luke rubbed the injured area. “What was that for?”
“I’ll have you know that I’m not that hard up for dates,” she huffed. “Plenty of guys have asked me out.”
“And how many have you dated,” Noah asked. She snapped her mouth shut, staring at the open paper in front of her. “So anyway, I was trying to trick her by saying that she was helping me set up a surprise for you. I even invited all of our friends to make it look good.”
“Well,” Luke grinned. “That works out pretty well with my news.”
She seethed while the conversation continued around her. So what if she hasn’t dated anyone in almost a year? That was no one’s business but hers. She crossed her arms over her chest and tried to smother the overwhelming need to cry. Her friends thought she was so pathetic that she needed to be set up with a man that was still hung up on his ex. Fan-freaking-tastic, Ashlee you really are a loser. She forced her mind to rejoin the conversation.
“…and he has been hired to write my grandmother’s autobiography. The guy has been in town for months and really doesn’t know anyone.” Luke smiled. “He’s actually supposed to meet me for coffee now so that I can introduce him to you, Noah.” He leaned in, kissing his boyfriend. “He says I talk about you so much that he needs to meet you.”
Noah wrapped his arms around Luke. “You say only good things I hope.”
“Of course,” Luke looked over his shoulder. “Actually there he is now.” Ashlee looked past her friends to see the man they were talking about. Her coffee cup fell from her hand, spilling its contents on the floor and shattering the mug.
“Ashlee,” Noah said. His voice sounded very far away. “Are you okay?”
“Coop,” she breathed once he was standing in front of her.
==++==
Coop walked into Java and found Luke right away. He started heading toward the table when he heard the mug shatter. He looked past Luke and saw her for the first time in months. His body stopped and they stared at each other. His legs moved toward her without his permission.
“Coop,” her voice was soft and uncertain.
“Hi, Ash,” he tried to keep his nerves out of his tone, but found it impossible. “It’s been a long time.”
“You two know each other,” Luke asked looking between them.
Ashlee nodded, her eyes never leaving his. “Yeah, we know each other.” She swallowed then blinked and turned away from him.
“Well,” Luke’s voice sounded as off as Ashlee’s did. “Then that makes you coming to my family’s farm an even better idea. Ashlee can introduce you to all our friends and you’ll have more than just me to talk with.”
Coop opened his mouth. “I don’t think that’s…”
“Coop,” She said standing up from the chair. “I’d like you to come. It would be great for you to meet everyone.” He stared into her eyes trying to figure out if she was lying. He could see hesitation, but not deception.
“Okay then,” he nodded with his hands on his hips to keep from touching her and making sure she was real. He’s dreamed about her so much lately. “I’ll be there.”
“Great,” Ashlee whispered. “I, um, I should be going,” she gathered her stuff. He noticed her hands were shaking violently. “Sorry about the mug Noah,” she laughed to the man next to Luke. “See you tonight, bye,” Ashlee rushed past them. Her shoulder brushed his arm and he shivered.
Coop turned and watched her leave then ran after her. “Ashlee,” he called once he was out of Java. She stopped with her back to him. He walked slowly up to her. His arm lifted to touch her, but dropped back at his side when she was within reach. “I didn’t know you moved.”
She spun around on her heel, brushing back her hair. “I didn’t know you did either.” She looked off to the side, licking her lips. “When did you get here?”
“Four months ago,” he answered. His insides were quaking. “When did you?”
“Five months ago,” she looked at him briefly in the eye then looked away again. “I’m,” she sighed looking at him in the eyes again. “I’m happy to see you, Coop.”
His heart lifted. “Really,” he asked needing her to say it again.
“Yeah,” she nodded, “Really.” Ashlee licked her lips and looked at her watch. “I really do need to be going. Kim really doesn’t like her assistants being late.” She backed up, smiling at him. “I’ll see you tonight, Coop.” Ashlee spun on her heel and walked away.
Coop grinned. For the first time in months he felt like everything was going to be okay. He walked back into Java and sat down with Noah and Luke. Maybe moving to Oakdale was the best decision he ever made. Maybe Ashlee and he had a shot this time. He grinned even harder. He really liked this town.
Well what do you think? I really would love to hear from you all.
Sharon, your's is next, but it might be done tomorrow instead of today. Please forgive me... *begs*