santa baby
This Christmas is going to be different because I'm determined to make it different. The last time I felt anything about the season was 2004 or 2005, I think; I'd wake up to chilly overcast mornings and make little happy noises at breakfast, and roll the windows down on car rides, and feel all warm and fuzzy inside as my extremities slowly froze.
That was before I found out what everyone else was up to- especially since the Situations at home got worse and worse- as I determinedly tried (and failed) to content myself with feeling Christmassy at home. With my mother. And my father. And the internet. At home. With my mother.
Anyway. I don't know how this whole season will work out; it's been a year since the last one, and things have changed: I now know exactly what I'm missing, and my parents know exactly what to keep me away from, which is, funnily enough, exactly what I'm missing. Actually it's not that funny.
There will be parties to say no to (I've turned down a photography racket for Globe because I know my parents well enough), and dinners to turn down (not that I've said yes that many times over the year), but this is me telling myself that Christmas isn't just about the temporary happiness that being with good, enjoyable company, doing bad, enjoyable things brings; it's also about being with family, and setting aside differences, and getting into the spirit of Christmas.
Bullfuckingshit. I'll do everything I possibly can to get out and enjoy this December.
Happy giving, everybody. :D edit: hm. I can't see the christmas tree. can you?
That was before I found out what everyone else was up to- especially since the Situations at home got worse and worse- as I determinedly tried (and failed) to content myself with feeling Christmassy at home. With my mother. And my father. And the internet. At home. With my mother.
Anyway. I don't know how this whole season will work out; it's been a year since the last one, and things have changed: I now know exactly what I'm missing, and my parents know exactly what to keep me away from, which is, funnily enough, exactly what I'm missing. Actually it's not that funny.
There will be parties to say no to (I've turned down a photography racket for Globe because I know my parents well enough), and dinners to turn down (not that I've said yes that many times over the year), but this is me telling myself that Christmas isn't just about the temporary happiness that being with good, enjoyable company, doing bad, enjoyable things brings; it's also about being with family, and setting aside differences, and getting into the spirit of Christmas.
Bullfuckingshit. I'll do everything I possibly can to get out and enjoy this December.
Happy giving, everybody. :D edit: hm. I can't see the christmas tree. can you?