P.S. a.k.a. Emotions out, Updates in-store
We'll start with me because, let's face it, that's always the easiest place to begin. It's April now, so...er... I've been on T for 4 months now. It has become just part of the routine now. So much so that we almost forget to give me my injection sometimes. But not so much so that I don't still get nervous/excited at injection time. The effects of testosterone are leveling out. As to say, I've adjusted into a place of feeling stable, albeit more stable than I ever was prior to T. Those "issues" you may have read about in my previous update post are still a frequent occurrence but they are the everyday now and not something new that I'm learning about. As such, they've settled in as pieces of my life. They are no longer met with angst and discomfort.
From beginning til now, my voice has dropped more, my facial hair and other is filling in more, my libido has balanced itself out (though it's still extremely high). I'm still probably easier to frustrate but I can equally manage it better. (the Jen does help sometimes by reminding me that yoga and running can be therapeutic and/or necessary.) Crying is becoming even harder to accomplish and takes more chasing when warranted. I almost have to force it.
I'm sporting a new/playful mohawk and wearing the facial hair differently. Both with Jen's help, of course. I'm feeling more and more like me these days. With outside and inside fitting together more coherently. I'm considering a lip piercing and a new tattoo (noting that the Jen's comes first). I'm happy. healthy. doing well.
Next up, Cole. Still my little Superhero, though lately think less Clark Kent and more Spiderman 3. He's six, almost 7, and acting a bit like puberty struck early and 15 might be closer than we think. He's been cranky and wanting, but is becoming much more independent. He's making/choosing his own breakfast, lunch, and dinner at his request. (We've posted "guidelines" to keep him going in the well-balanced direction) He seems super proud of himself and we certainly are too. Though I can't help but remember that when our family first began, each morning sprouted with him crawling into bed and cuddling for awhile. Now he's off and doing his own thing and seriously perturbed should we happen to interrupt.
He's been having a blast this Spring break...fishing (he hooked me instead of a fish), hiking (he showed us how fun walking in muddy-river can be), and playing with friends (see previous post). Doing a good job of getting the rowdy out anyway. But our kid rocks it in school too. He's top of his class (so much so that he has time to distract the kids by doing push-ups during work time cuz he's already done) and always craving more. He loves talking to anyone he can about anything they can teach him. He loves nature and natural disasters most. In that direction, he loves an excuse to call Chris or Grandpa Jim so he can talk their arms off about the ways of the world. Yet he wants to be a soldier. Don't ask. Don't even comment. The only reason he can possibly have is that it drives his mama and me crazy.
Last, but never least, the Jen. the Jen. the Jen. Yes, her name warrants repeating if you're alex and crazy about her. But then again, I prefer to call her "babe". and I believe as I sit tucked in the bedroom typing away, she's contorting herself into crazy pretty shapes she calls yoga. That part makes me a little bit wonderlusty, cuz I love it when I get to watch. She's amazingly good at it and it's something beautiful to watch. But I need to stop there with that because chances are, she'll be reading this and, well, chances are, she'll chide me mercilessly for loving her like that. So in the name of self-preservation, we're moving on. (Yes, I'm whipped)
The Jen. I'm sappy and love-struck and proud of her. Endlessly fucking proud of her. And you'd have to know her, know us to get it. She busts her ass for anything that she feels is important. She's becoming addicted to working out and being the ultimate vegetarian. She kicks my ass in coming up with new fun meal ideas and works them better than I do too.
In this in-between-spot that could drive anyone crazy, she's holding her own amidst yearning for moving and college to commence. She is always finding new things in this boredom that can be and finds time in that to inspire all of us. And it's hard to describe someone as big, big news as the Jen. And it doesn't help that when I look at her or think about her, there is a squishy squishy feeling inside. It makes her hardest yet to break down with simple fact. The closest is to say that she, too, is doing well. She, too, is challenging and growing in herself. And she, too, is finding adventure in what's left of our stay in this town.
From beginning til now, my voice has dropped more, my facial hair and other is filling in more, my libido has balanced itself out (though it's still extremely high). I'm still probably easier to frustrate but I can equally manage it better. (the Jen does help sometimes by reminding me that yoga and running can be therapeutic and/or necessary.) Crying is becoming even harder to accomplish and takes more chasing when warranted. I almost have to force it.
I'm sporting a new/playful mohawk and wearing the facial hair differently. Both with Jen's help, of course. I'm feeling more and more like me these days. With outside and inside fitting together more coherently. I'm considering a lip piercing and a new tattoo (noting that the Jen's comes first). I'm happy. healthy. doing well.
Next up, Cole. Still my little Superhero, though lately think less Clark Kent and more Spiderman 3. He's six, almost 7, and acting a bit like puberty struck early and 15 might be closer than we think. He's been cranky and wanting, but is becoming much more independent. He's making/choosing his own breakfast, lunch, and dinner at his request. (We've posted "guidelines" to keep him going in the well-balanced direction) He seems super proud of himself and we certainly are too. Though I can't help but remember that when our family first began, each morning sprouted with him crawling into bed and cuddling for awhile. Now he's off and doing his own thing and seriously perturbed should we happen to interrupt.
He's been having a blast this Spring break...fishing (he hooked me instead of a fish), hiking (he showed us how fun walking in muddy-river can be), and playing with friends (see previous post). Doing a good job of getting the rowdy out anyway. But our kid rocks it in school too. He's top of his class (so much so that he has time to distract the kids by doing push-ups during work time cuz he's already done) and always craving more. He loves talking to anyone he can about anything they can teach him. He loves nature and natural disasters most. In that direction, he loves an excuse to call Chris or Grandpa Jim so he can talk their arms off about the ways of the world. Yet he wants to be a soldier. Don't ask. Don't even comment. The only reason he can possibly have is that it drives his mama and me crazy.
Last, but never least, the Jen. the Jen. the Jen. Yes, her name warrants repeating if you're alex and crazy about her. But then again, I prefer to call her "babe". and I believe as I sit tucked in the bedroom typing away, she's contorting herself into crazy pretty shapes she calls yoga. That part makes me a little bit wonderlusty, cuz I love it when I get to watch. She's amazingly good at it and it's something beautiful to watch. But I need to stop there with that because chances are, she'll be reading this and, well, chances are, she'll chide me mercilessly for loving her like that. So in the name of self-preservation, we're moving on. (Yes, I'm whipped)
The Jen. I'm sappy and love-struck and proud of her. Endlessly fucking proud of her. And you'd have to know her, know us to get it. She busts her ass for anything that she feels is important. She's becoming addicted to working out and being the ultimate vegetarian. She kicks my ass in coming up with new fun meal ideas and works them better than I do too.
In this in-between-spot that could drive anyone crazy, she's holding her own amidst yearning for moving and college to commence. She is always finding new things in this boredom that can be and finds time in that to inspire all of us. And it's hard to describe someone as big, big news as the Jen. And it doesn't help that when I look at her or think about her, there is a squishy squishy feeling inside. It makes her hardest yet to break down with simple fact. The closest is to say that she, too, is doing well. She, too, is challenging and growing in herself. And she, too, is finding adventure in what's left of our stay in this town.