I win.
Of all the available things to wake up to, a frantic call from my sister in an ambulance with my [favourite] niece has got to be dead last. Nonetheless, that was the case yesterday and so my weekend has been consumed with visiting my poor little Ashtyn; Ashtyn who has hour long seizures on Fridays in July. The funny thing was that my sister had to call with the ambulance line, so the clarity sucked and everyone thought that it was her eldest daughter, Aidan, who was in stroking out. With this news, I went the speed limit, my mom did as well, my dad stayed in West Virginia (don’t ask), and my bother-in-law took what flight was available first from NYC. When it was made clear that it was Ashy, I must have run a dozen cars off the road in a mad [100mph] dash to the hospital, my mother could hardly see she was crying so hard and was thus responsible for not less than two collisions on her way, my dad and hopped a plane back, and my brother-in-law took a company jet immediately. It’s not that we like Aidan so much less, it’s more that she’s very self-sufficient, whereas Ashy had a stroke before she was born and is that much less physically able; that, and she’s the most adorable little dorcas ever. So now they won’t let her leave the hospital until she can hold anything down, which seems impossible at this point. She’s become an avid bulimic and they don’t know why. I felt that she must have burst out with the convulsions from lack of proper material possessions, so I proceeded to buy Best Buy last night, just for her. She was all kinds of drugged up, so I didn’t get to open everything with her until just before midnight, but judging by her reaction, I’m the best uncle ever and she’ll not be seizing up anymore. One perk that came out of this situation was Sarah’s phone call last night, it went something like this:
Me: “hola”
Sarah: “….sob….sob…."
Me: “I suspect this has something to do with a guy and I’m gonna have to shut you down; okay, are you ready to feel like an asshole”
Sarah: “are you seriously about to trump my sadness?”
Me: “yes. I have the mother of all hands. guess where I’ve been all day?”
Sarah: “oh God.”
Me: “I’ve been in the hospital with my three year old niece who had a seizure that the doctors couldn’t stop - wow. You’re a real asshole.”
Now I must go watch some more Absolutely Fabulous and chain smoke. Upon hearing the news I began popping countless pills and I’ve only just come back to reality to find that my stomach lining is missing. Doom on you to all of those who were too busy to go out to eat with me last night and this; I needed a drink and some conversation in the warst way and no one cared. you’re all fired, and yes, this means Caitlin, Erinn, Maggie, et. Al.
p.s. God, you're fired too. my little baby shouldn't have such a rough run of it and you're about the only one I know who could have prevented all of this.
Me: “hola”
Sarah: “….sob….sob…."
Me: “I suspect this has something to do with a guy and I’m gonna have to shut you down; okay, are you ready to feel like an asshole”
Sarah: “are you seriously about to trump my sadness?”
Me: “yes. I have the mother of all hands. guess where I’ve been all day?”
Sarah: “oh God.”
Me: “I’ve been in the hospital with my three year old niece who had a seizure that the doctors couldn’t stop - wow. You’re a real asshole.”
Now I must go watch some more Absolutely Fabulous and chain smoke. Upon hearing the news I began popping countless pills and I’ve only just come back to reality to find that my stomach lining is missing. Doom on you to all of those who were too busy to go out to eat with me last night and this; I needed a drink and some conversation in the warst way and no one cared. you’re all fired, and yes, this means Caitlin, Erinn, Maggie, et. Al.
p.s. God, you're fired too. my little baby shouldn't have such a rough run of it and you're about the only one I know who could have prevented all of this.