(no subject)
Not much I do anymore is of importance to me. It's something, but all there is at the end of the day is an empty, bored person going through the same motions every day. Nothing is in color really. Sure I can hang out with my friend and work out. I can play videogames and DJ. I play card games by myself. There's goals in my life that are coming to fruition. School is right around the corner, or so I hope. It's hard to tell if I'm depressed or extremely bored. My outlook on life and society is bleak anyway which makes things harder.
Living with family is weird. I live with my sister and her fiance. I stay in my room mostly. I'll hang out but not very often. Most of the time it's just me, by myself thinking. Writing has slowly begun to consume me. The stories of my dreams become the stories I write down and mix together. The memories living with family again are sometimes hard to deal with. I can't remember anything about my little sister but I'll say that things have started becoming a little less fuzzy.
When you look into yourself and base characters off of yourself you realize a lot of things you'd other wise ignore and put of somewhere in your head like fucking things up with the person that meant the most to you in your life ever. You start to see opportunities for things you could of done, but times passes and it's too late.
I don't get why I can't just be content. To live life as it comes. I don't really know if that's what I do. I often wonder just what the fuck I'm doing anymore and I can't come up with any other reason besides living. Living - a whole bunch of pointless motions to follow through just to reach a miserable end result. Yay.
The fun and interest meter is dropping dramatically. I wonder what's next?
Living with family is weird. I live with my sister and her fiance. I stay in my room mostly. I'll hang out but not very often. Most of the time it's just me, by myself thinking. Writing has slowly begun to consume me. The stories of my dreams become the stories I write down and mix together. The memories living with family again are sometimes hard to deal with. I can't remember anything about my little sister but I'll say that things have started becoming a little less fuzzy.
When you look into yourself and base characters off of yourself you realize a lot of things you'd other wise ignore and put of somewhere in your head like fucking things up with the person that meant the most to you in your life ever. You start to see opportunities for things you could of done, but times passes and it's too late.
I don't get why I can't just be content. To live life as it comes. I don't really know if that's what I do. I often wonder just what the fuck I'm doing anymore and I can't come up with any other reason besides living. Living - a whole bunch of pointless motions to follow through just to reach a miserable end result. Yay.
The fun and interest meter is dropping dramatically. I wonder what's next?