30 day meme
This shit is hard to do when you have a child. A lot of shit is hard to do when you have a child. *looks at the advert for the new TV show "Raising Hope"* I feel like that sometimes.
Seriously, I've thought about duct taping Emma to the vacuum so I can get some chores done.
Annnnyway...
Day 01 - Introduce yourself. X
Day 02 - Your first love. X (gonna deal with this one later, I half finished it a couple days ago, but life happened. on to...)
Day 03 - Your parents.
Heh heh. OMG. Annie and Howie. They are legend among most of my friends. Growing up they were afraid of Howie. Mainly because he always looked pissed. Nowadays, I understand why.
Annie. Mom. Diner waitress, crossing guard, Girl Scout cookie Mom. Field trip driver. She did her best. Met Dad when she was 19 when they worked at the same factory. Mom was 19 in 1970. My older sister from my Dad's first marriage was born in 1970. I still wonder about that math. My parents got married a couple years later. Mom and dad have been happily married since 1973. Not many of them around, are there? I think in my entire life I've heard them fight 3 times. One of them was my fault.. I started a fight with Dad, trying to get him to throw me out. He did. I went to a friends house. Mom came home and found me at my friends house. Drove me home, and then proceeded to yell at Dad, telling him if he did that again, she'd throw HIM out. I think that was probably the most trouble I caused that they knew about.
Mom... Right. She said to me a few years ago "I just left you to yourself, I didn't want to crowd you or micromanage you". At 16 that was fine. I didn't want to be bothered, but looking back, I craved someone to talk to. to give me a little guidance. Speak up and say "Trust me, he's an asshole, you can do better." or "oh no, she's crazy, I don't like her, keep her out of my house." She would say these things, mind you, just after the fact. I dated a couple of guys who broke my heart, lied, stole from me, etc... I would have appreciated a little guidance on what kind of guy I should look for.
This all lasted until about 5 or 6 years ago. We blew up at each other over the wedding plans. I let her have it. She ran the guilt train, like the irish catholic mom she is.
Ugh. She and I can talk about sensitive topics. At. All. Last Christmas was another "fight". She didn't get the message that we were coming up late morning/early afternoon. I know I told her we were going to eat breakfast at Drew's Mom's house. Much like the wedding snafu. I know I asked her 9 months before hand about having the bridal party stay at the house the night before the wedding. A couple months before the wedding, I asked her about it again. She acted like this was the first time she heard about it. She planned on putting up her Dad and my Uncle in my old room, where was she gonna put them, on the street? OMG, DRAMA. Bridal shower, fight. My 25th birthday, forgotten, She acted like it was no big deal. Yeah, not to her.
Yikes, bitterness, I has it.
Now, I've just accepted my relationship as it is with my Mom. I'm also forcing myself to learn from it.. I'm studying my history, so I won't be doomed to repeat it on Emma. I think it boils down to I'm more emotional than my Mom. Or just a different kind of emotional.
Mom is the Diner Waitress I look up to. She's been at the same diner for over 20 years now. The owners are like family. She plays poker, Bingo, she bowls every wednesday. She used to play softball, volleyball in the winter. She's so typically NJ Mom it hurts.
Dad. Howie. Legend. Sailor. Boat builder. Wood worker, mechanic. Snappy dresser. Can decorate a room very well. If John Wayne were Gay, you'd have my dad. Likes westerns, scifi movies, old B&W movies, country and western music, 50's and 60's, old folk songs, stuff like that. Johnny Cash is one of his favorites. But hated the fact that he used drugs. Same with Willy Nelson. Hmm. Some of Dad's favorite musicians were either pill poppers or pot smokers. Heh.
Dad worked 6 days a week most of my life. If he wasn't at the boat yard in the spring, summer and early fall, he was plowing snow in the winter, or taking care of the trailer park every other minute he was free. I used to stay up late some nights waiting for him to come home. At around 12 or 1AM. A little drunk. I remember waking up to the smell of burnt bread, going downstairs, finding dad swearing and throwing out a weird looking grilled cheese sandwich. He said he made it inside out. I made him a can of soup. Dad was both tired and hammered. Since I could remember, Dad has always drove pickup trucks or SUV's. Mind you, it was more UV than S. Dad didn't do sports. He tried watching a football game just to understand what the attraction was. He concluded it was the cheerleaders. Same thing with Skiing. He never got it. Go up to the top, slide down, fall down, be cold, walk funny, do it again. Never got it. Neither do I. Most of the time Dad was pretty utilitarian. Suspenders weren't for show, they held up your pants. Dad always smelled like diesel fuel, sawdust, varnish, beer and metal.
The only wooping I got from Dad that I remember was when I lied to him.. I'll never do it again. Not because of the whooping, but the look on his face when he did it. He looked so disgusted with me, and with himself.
Dad was another one for not saying anything about the people I was hanging out with until after the fact. Specifically my boyfriends. He only liked a couple of them. He hated my Ex husband. I asked him why he didn't say anything to me BEFORE I married him, and he paid a lot of money for a wedding. He said
"I didn't think you'd listen."
"Dad, I'm 30, I actually value what you say. I'll listen."
"Yeah, I keep forgetting you're not a a little girl anymore."
"What do you think of Bob??"
"Please marry this one, cuz if you don't, I'm adopting him."
That was before Emma was born. When I see him tomorrow, I'm gonna ask him if he still likes Bob. LOL
There is a lot more to be said about Howie. Too tired. I'll finish this one later. G'nite.
Day 04 - What you ate today.
Day 05 - Your definition of love.
Day 06 - Your day.
Day 07 - Your best friend.
Day 08 - A moment.
Day 09 - Your beliefs.
Day 10 - What you wore today.
Day 11 - Your siblings.
Day 12 - What’s in your bag.
Day 13 - This week.
Day 14 - What you wore today.
Day 15 - Your dreams.
Day 16 - Your first kiss.
Day 17 - Your favorite memory.
Day 18 - Your favorite birthday.
Day 19 - Something you regret.
Day 20 - This month.
Day 21 - Another moment.
Day 22 - Something that upsets you.
Day 23 - Something that makes you feel better.
Day 24 - Something that makes you cry.
Day 25 - A first.
Day 26 - Your fears.
Day 27 - Your favorite place.
Day 28 - Something that you miss.
Day 29 - Your aspirations.
Day 30 - One last moment
Seriously, I've thought about duct taping Emma to the vacuum so I can get some chores done.
Annnnyway...
Day 01 - Introduce yourself. X
Day 02 - Your first love. X (gonna deal with this one later, I half finished it a couple days ago, but life happened. on to...)
Day 03 - Your parents.
Heh heh. OMG. Annie and Howie. They are legend among most of my friends. Growing up they were afraid of Howie. Mainly because he always looked pissed. Nowadays, I understand why.
Annie. Mom. Diner waitress, crossing guard, Girl Scout cookie Mom. Field trip driver. She did her best. Met Dad when she was 19 when they worked at the same factory. Mom was 19 in 1970. My older sister from my Dad's first marriage was born in 1970. I still wonder about that math. My parents got married a couple years later. Mom and dad have been happily married since 1973. Not many of them around, are there? I think in my entire life I've heard them fight 3 times. One of them was my fault.. I started a fight with Dad, trying to get him to throw me out. He did. I went to a friends house. Mom came home and found me at my friends house. Drove me home, and then proceeded to yell at Dad, telling him if he did that again, she'd throw HIM out. I think that was probably the most trouble I caused that they knew about.
Mom... Right. She said to me a few years ago "I just left you to yourself, I didn't want to crowd you or micromanage you". At 16 that was fine. I didn't want to be bothered, but looking back, I craved someone to talk to. to give me a little guidance. Speak up and say "Trust me, he's an asshole, you can do better." or "oh no, she's crazy, I don't like her, keep her out of my house." She would say these things, mind you, just after the fact. I dated a couple of guys who broke my heart, lied, stole from me, etc... I would have appreciated a little guidance on what kind of guy I should look for.
This all lasted until about 5 or 6 years ago. We blew up at each other over the wedding plans. I let her have it. She ran the guilt train, like the irish catholic mom she is.
Ugh. She and I can talk about sensitive topics. At. All. Last Christmas was another "fight". She didn't get the message that we were coming up late morning/early afternoon. I know I told her we were going to eat breakfast at Drew's Mom's house. Much like the wedding snafu. I know I asked her 9 months before hand about having the bridal party stay at the house the night before the wedding. A couple months before the wedding, I asked her about it again. She acted like this was the first time she heard about it. She planned on putting up her Dad and my Uncle in my old room, where was she gonna put them, on the street? OMG, DRAMA. Bridal shower, fight. My 25th birthday, forgotten, She acted like it was no big deal. Yeah, not to her.
Yikes, bitterness, I has it.
Now, I've just accepted my relationship as it is with my Mom. I'm also forcing myself to learn from it.. I'm studying my history, so I won't be doomed to repeat it on Emma. I think it boils down to I'm more emotional than my Mom. Or just a different kind of emotional.
Mom is the Diner Waitress I look up to. She's been at the same diner for over 20 years now. The owners are like family. She plays poker, Bingo, she bowls every wednesday. She used to play softball, volleyball in the winter. She's so typically NJ Mom it hurts.
Dad. Howie. Legend. Sailor. Boat builder. Wood worker, mechanic. Snappy dresser. Can decorate a room very well. If John Wayne were Gay, you'd have my dad. Likes westerns, scifi movies, old B&W movies, country and western music, 50's and 60's, old folk songs, stuff like that. Johnny Cash is one of his favorites. But hated the fact that he used drugs. Same with Willy Nelson. Hmm. Some of Dad's favorite musicians were either pill poppers or pot smokers. Heh.
Dad worked 6 days a week most of my life. If he wasn't at the boat yard in the spring, summer and early fall, he was plowing snow in the winter, or taking care of the trailer park every other minute he was free. I used to stay up late some nights waiting for him to come home. At around 12 or 1AM. A little drunk. I remember waking up to the smell of burnt bread, going downstairs, finding dad swearing and throwing out a weird looking grilled cheese sandwich. He said he made it inside out. I made him a can of soup. Dad was both tired and hammered. Since I could remember, Dad has always drove pickup trucks or SUV's. Mind you, it was more UV than S. Dad didn't do sports. He tried watching a football game just to understand what the attraction was. He concluded it was the cheerleaders. Same thing with Skiing. He never got it. Go up to the top, slide down, fall down, be cold, walk funny, do it again. Never got it. Neither do I. Most of the time Dad was pretty utilitarian. Suspenders weren't for show, they held up your pants. Dad always smelled like diesel fuel, sawdust, varnish, beer and metal.
The only wooping I got from Dad that I remember was when I lied to him.. I'll never do it again. Not because of the whooping, but the look on his face when he did it. He looked so disgusted with me, and with himself.
Dad was another one for not saying anything about the people I was hanging out with until after the fact. Specifically my boyfriends. He only liked a couple of them. He hated my Ex husband. I asked him why he didn't say anything to me BEFORE I married him, and he paid a lot of money for a wedding. He said
"I didn't think you'd listen."
"Dad, I'm 30, I actually value what you say. I'll listen."
"Yeah, I keep forgetting you're not a a little girl anymore."
"What do you think of Bob??"
"Please marry this one, cuz if you don't, I'm adopting him."
That was before Emma was born. When I see him tomorrow, I'm gonna ask him if he still likes Bob. LOL
There is a lot more to be said about Howie. Too tired. I'll finish this one later. G'nite.
Day 04 - What you ate today.
Day 05 - Your definition of love.
Day 06 - Your day.
Day 07 - Your best friend.
Day 08 - A moment.
Day 09 - Your beliefs.
Day 10 - What you wore today.
Day 11 - Your siblings.
Day 12 - What’s in your bag.
Day 13 - This week.
Day 14 - What you wore today.
Day 15 - Your dreams.
Day 16 - Your first kiss.
Day 17 - Your favorite memory.
Day 18 - Your favorite birthday.
Day 19 - Something you regret.
Day 20 - This month.
Day 21 - Another moment.
Day 22 - Something that upsets you.
Day 23 - Something that makes you feel better.
Day 24 - Something that makes you cry.
Day 25 - A first.
Day 26 - Your fears.
Day 27 - Your favorite place.
Day 28 - Something that you miss.
Day 29 - Your aspirations.
Day 30 - One last moment