(no subject)
BLAAAAAARRRG!!! It's crap like what I've been dealing with this weekend (completely not work related) that makes me REALLY REALLY appreciate my man, who treats me wonderfully, is a daily blessing to my life, and means the world to me and I know is truly my best friend.
I'm not naming names, it's not like any one of them is on my LJ anyway, but this is for me, not for them. I'm just so gobsmacked by the drama trifecta this weekend.
First, my ex-husbands GF (I think it's her at least, I gleaned enough from myspace to have a good idea it's her.) decided to send me a friend request on FB. Anyway, while odd and surprising, not a big deal since I denied the request and sent a polite and brief note as to why, have a nice day, thank you kindly. Not a peep since. Done and done.
Had that been the only thing, I wouldn't have given it a second thought.
Next...
This has been going on for TWENTY YEARS.. I've witnessed most of those years of this next drama. I'd say 17 years now? Seriously, I've been watching this train wreck go on almost half my life.
I'm of the opinion that if I can't get the guy to commit after a couple of months, it's time to move on, I've got better things to do. But really? 20 years? And he's been married to someone else for most of them??? HUH?
So a couple of weeks ago, she seeing him again, *of course* and he's finally divorcing his wife. Wife was cheating on him, he's finally tired of being in a sham marriage, etc, etc... Sure. Do tell! You finally get to be together. I hope you finally get what you wanted. Wait, how does that cliche' go again?
Fast forward to a few hours ago, someone blabbed to his wife about the thing between the other 2 on the side the whole time they were married, The guy never wants to see my friend again, or ever speak to her again, and my friend is crushed, and wants to die. I'm sympathetic, or I try to be anymore, but now it's to the point where I'm tired of being the broken record, but I tell her anyway, DON'T FUCKING DO IT, The oven is HOT, STOP TOUCHING IT, I LOVE YOU BUT YOU ARE RUNNING OUT OF FINGERS. I Understand that he's been the only constant thing in your life, and you're afraid of moving beyond it, but, you can now classify as a junkie, and you need serious help.
He knows you can't say no to him, and he banks on that. He's been doing it for 20 years.
>Facepalm< Mind you, I'm not perfect, I went and married a man named MAGGOT. And I try to make it work long after the horse should have been cremated, let alone acknowledge that it's well and truly dead. I try to learn from my mistakes and move on, and when I can, upgrade on the next model. Leave it behind you. Move on. So far, so good. Lesson learned on my end.
But when I can see the obvious issues, and I speak up on what I see, you should listen. You don't have to follow my advice, just listen. When everyone else is also crying foul, you should REALLY listen. srsly.
Which brings me to my next WTF!?!?! This one I've been drug into kicking and screaming.
*Sandy and *Danny were dating for a year, Sandy went to HS with Bob, and another friend of his. Danny I knew from pennsic and around the SCA circles. No biggie, She would hang out with the guys every now and then, her and Danny were fine so far as we knew, and it was cool. Then out of the Blue, Danny decided he had enough with New Hope, "The Drama" his money problems, etc. and want to move back home to Montana to work on a spaghetti farm and there is money in that. **
Wuh? Um, right, you're a big boy, you know what you're doing, do what you got to do. But you left Sandy with out much idea of where you 2 were now, then you tell her to move on, you have enough on your plate, etc. ok. Huh. Fishy, but none of my business.
Sandy starts dating this new guy she met through her friend at work. Great! You hit it off COOL!!! Now Danny seems to be crying sour grapes because you've actually moved on with your life, and is doing his level best to make sure she waits for him to come back***
As a friend to Sandy, I try to be supportive, ask her which one makes her happy, what she wants to do, and tell her she should put herself first.
So fast forward a few weeks of this going back and forth, Mind you, during this, Danny decided to tell Sandy to "Watch out for me (Yours truly) and I'm likely to stab her in the back."
Excuse me? What the fuck did I ever do to you sir?
While Bob is pissed that I'm getting dragged into this, we're not pissed off at Sandy, she just had the misfortune to date someone who has a knack for drama, yet professes to hate it. We let Sandy know that while we love to hang out with her, Danny is not welcome in our home ever again. if he does actually come back. ***
So more weeks go by, it's coming up to Xmas and NYE, and she just wants to enjoy her time with her new guy, and try and figure out if he's the right guy, while she's dealing with the jealous phone calls from Danny. I listen, I offer my advice and opinion, but try to keep out of it, but somehow, Danny insists on dragging me into this. This past weekend, I get a message on FB from Danny asking "What ny beef is, why am I sticking my nose in this, etc etc,"
Awferchrissakes. Really? You got me involved first, I'm just trying to be her friend, and be supportive. You're the one trying to manipulate her from another friggin' time zone after you left her behind with no real reason why, telling her how to live her life, and I'm the one sticking my nose in it? I could go on, but this is dragging on, even for me.
I've vented, I feel a little better. I still have no solutions for the last 2 problems, because they are not my problems to fix. I can only be so supportive anymore. Ladies, I personally think the men you have set your hearts on are not worth it, and you can do much, much better. The men you want to stand by aren't good for you, aren't willing to stand by you, or only want you on their terms. I'm sorry, but the truth hurts. I honestly believe these men are absolutely worthless.
The first problem solves itself. Thank you for using FB, I can block you there too.
* Not their real names, I need to vent and get this shit off my chest, not get more involved and cause trouble.
** This isn't the truth, obviously, the truth is much longer, and the montana spaghetti farm makes as much sense as the truth anyway. I've also trimmed the filler details to save on my typing.
*** So far, Danny has promised to pay for her to come out to "Montana" for her birthday, has also sworn he's coming back to Pennsic this year, AND He's gonna move back home by october. Basically one year after he left. That would be fine, Sandy would love that, but Sandy's birthday is this weekend, and no tickets, Danny still has no job at all out there, and well, moving back across the country AND pennsic cost A LOT of money.
And he still has no job. Way to look good there buddy. And you wonder why I don't like you much? C'mon now.
**** on a final note, financial troubles can be fixed, pay off your debts, and cut back your spending and you can fix that problem. All of your "problems" are relatively easy to fix if you put some effort into in and act like an adult. Jack ass.
***** extra points if you picked up on the Grease reference. LOL
I'm done. I can finally relax.
I'm not naming names, it's not like any one of them is on my LJ anyway, but this is for me, not for them. I'm just so gobsmacked by the drama trifecta this weekend.
First, my ex-husbands GF (I think it's her at least, I gleaned enough from myspace to have a good idea it's her.) decided to send me a friend request on FB. Anyway, while odd and surprising, not a big deal since I denied the request and sent a polite and brief note as to why, have a nice day, thank you kindly. Not a peep since. Done and done.
Had that been the only thing, I wouldn't have given it a second thought.
Next...
This has been going on for TWENTY YEARS.. I've witnessed most of those years of this next drama. I'd say 17 years now? Seriously, I've been watching this train wreck go on almost half my life.
I'm of the opinion that if I can't get the guy to commit after a couple of months, it's time to move on, I've got better things to do. But really? 20 years? And he's been married to someone else for most of them??? HUH?
So a couple of weeks ago, she seeing him again, *of course* and he's finally divorcing his wife. Wife was cheating on him, he's finally tired of being in a sham marriage, etc, etc... Sure. Do tell! You finally get to be together. I hope you finally get what you wanted. Wait, how does that cliche' go again?
Fast forward to a few hours ago, someone blabbed to his wife about the thing between the other 2 on the side the whole time they were married, The guy never wants to see my friend again, or ever speak to her again, and my friend is crushed, and wants to die. I'm sympathetic, or I try to be anymore, but now it's to the point where I'm tired of being the broken record, but I tell her anyway, DON'T FUCKING DO IT, The oven is HOT, STOP TOUCHING IT, I LOVE YOU BUT YOU ARE RUNNING OUT OF FINGERS. I Understand that he's been the only constant thing in your life, and you're afraid of moving beyond it, but, you can now classify as a junkie, and you need serious help.
He knows you can't say no to him, and he banks on that. He's been doing it for 20 years.
>Facepalm< Mind you, I'm not perfect, I went and married a man named MAGGOT. And I try to make it work long after the horse should have been cremated, let alone acknowledge that it's well and truly dead. I try to learn from my mistakes and move on, and when I can, upgrade on the next model. Leave it behind you. Move on. So far, so good. Lesson learned on my end.
But when I can see the obvious issues, and I speak up on what I see, you should listen. You don't have to follow my advice, just listen. When everyone else is also crying foul, you should REALLY listen. srsly.
Which brings me to my next WTF!?!?! This one I've been drug into kicking and screaming.
*Sandy and *Danny were dating for a year, Sandy went to HS with Bob, and another friend of his. Danny I knew from pennsic and around the SCA circles. No biggie, She would hang out with the guys every now and then, her and Danny were fine so far as we knew, and it was cool. Then out of the Blue, Danny decided he had enough with New Hope, "The Drama" his money problems, etc. and want to move back home to Montana to work on a spaghetti farm and there is money in that. **
Wuh? Um, right, you're a big boy, you know what you're doing, do what you got to do. But you left Sandy with out much idea of where you 2 were now, then you tell her to move on, you have enough on your plate, etc. ok. Huh. Fishy, but none of my business.
Sandy starts dating this new guy she met through her friend at work. Great! You hit it off COOL!!! Now Danny seems to be crying sour grapes because you've actually moved on with your life, and is doing his level best to make sure she waits for him to come back***
As a friend to Sandy, I try to be supportive, ask her which one makes her happy, what she wants to do, and tell her she should put herself first.
So fast forward a few weeks of this going back and forth, Mind you, during this, Danny decided to tell Sandy to "Watch out for me (Yours truly) and I'm likely to stab her in the back."
Excuse me? What the fuck did I ever do to you sir?
While Bob is pissed that I'm getting dragged into this, we're not pissed off at Sandy, she just had the misfortune to date someone who has a knack for drama, yet professes to hate it. We let Sandy know that while we love to hang out with her, Danny is not welcome in our home ever again. if he does actually come back. ***
So more weeks go by, it's coming up to Xmas and NYE, and she just wants to enjoy her time with her new guy, and try and figure out if he's the right guy, while she's dealing with the jealous phone calls from Danny. I listen, I offer my advice and opinion, but try to keep out of it, but somehow, Danny insists on dragging me into this. This past weekend, I get a message on FB from Danny asking "What ny beef is, why am I sticking my nose in this, etc etc,"
Awferchrissakes. Really? You got me involved first, I'm just trying to be her friend, and be supportive. You're the one trying to manipulate her from another friggin' time zone after you left her behind with no real reason why, telling her how to live her life, and I'm the one sticking my nose in it? I could go on, but this is dragging on, even for me.
I've vented, I feel a little better. I still have no solutions for the last 2 problems, because they are not my problems to fix. I can only be so supportive anymore. Ladies, I personally think the men you have set your hearts on are not worth it, and you can do much, much better. The men you want to stand by aren't good for you, aren't willing to stand by you, or only want you on their terms. I'm sorry, but the truth hurts. I honestly believe these men are absolutely worthless.
The first problem solves itself. Thank you for using FB, I can block you there too.
* Not their real names, I need to vent and get this shit off my chest, not get more involved and cause trouble.
** This isn't the truth, obviously, the truth is much longer, and the montana spaghetti farm makes as much sense as the truth anyway. I've also trimmed the filler details to save on my typing.
*** So far, Danny has promised to pay for her to come out to "Montana" for her birthday, has also sworn he's coming back to Pennsic this year, AND He's gonna move back home by october. Basically one year after he left. That would be fine, Sandy would love that, but Sandy's birthday is this weekend, and no tickets, Danny still has no job at all out there, and well, moving back across the country AND pennsic cost A LOT of money.
And he still has no job. Way to look good there buddy. And you wonder why I don't like you much? C'mon now.
**** on a final note, financial troubles can be fixed, pay off your debts, and cut back your spending and you can fix that problem. All of your "problems" are relatively easy to fix if you put some effort into in and act like an adult. Jack ass.
***** extra points if you picked up on the Grease reference. LOL
I'm done. I can finally relax.