Love=pain= love
Love is a funny thing. Not ha ha funny,but funny in the way it messes with your head,with my head.
I'm falling in love with someone who lives a thousand miles away,works his ass off,is talented ,smart,caring & we have so much in common. He's the male version of me,he understands me & doesn't judge me.
I dream of the day we get to see each other in person. I'm hoping the spark that connects us from peach to the lone star,is still there when we are face to face.
We have had our moments of misunderstanding,but we ALWAYS pull through.
We laugh at the silliest shit. We can have each other rolling,unable to breath because something so simple is so silly.
I almost out of habit told him "I love you." I caught myself & he asked "what's wrong?" I told him that I almost said those 3 crazy words out of habit.
I thought it would be an awkward silence,but he responded with "It's ok. Say it." I couldn't. I didn't want to hear what he might say,like "Thank you or that's so sweet." But I knew it wouldn't be the same 3 words I just made myself vulnerable enough to almost say.
Rejection. What a fucked up word to describe a torturous feeling.
Anyway,I'm moving forward into "The Friends Zone.
Love,
Anda