And now for something completely different..

[jahad2k]

I've spent most of my energy on this journal venting the bad, but never updating with the good. Now is time for me to share all that I find wonderful in my life. For things are truly making me happy beyond my wildest imagination. I want to gush over my girl but I believe most of you have already heard more than you would like to. So here's just a little bit more! Tiana and I met shortly before x-mas. I was surfing around IAM.bmezine.com and came across her profile. Something caught my eye, but I couldn't figure out what it was. I continued to surf the site and things kept leading me back to her. I proceeded to send her a message, welcoming her to the site (she was brand new of only a couple weeks) and commenting on a few of her journal entries. We conversed back and forth a bit, nothing of real substance, but we were beginning to realize that we have been in the same place at the same time countless times without ever meeting. I found out she was looking to sell some New Rock Boots for a friend. I've always wanted a pair of New Rocks, but I've not been willing to pay $250+ for a pair. I took this opportunity to meet with her and I ended up buying my very first pair of New Rocks! Needless to say I love them! That evening we walked around Capitol Hill together doing some shopping/errands. She was planning to go do a really neat photo shoot with some of her friends, but as the evening wore on the plans crumbled. I was enjoying her company and wasn't completely ready to cut the evening short. She was getting depressed as her plans had completely died. I knew I was going to be meeting up with Lisa and Jay later to watch a movie or two and have Pizza, etc. So I invited her along. She went back and forth a few times and finally agreed to join us. At this point I really had no idea if she was interested in me or not, but I was feeling the sparks of initial attraction. We stop by her house for her to pick up some stuff, then off to the Eastside to my house to watch "Saw". She loved it and we had a great time. She got along with my friends really well. At some point in the evening somebody mentioned my Violet Wand (if you don't know then ask) at the mention of it, Tiana perked up like a kid in a candy shop. That led to me spending about 20 minutes shocking every inch of exposed skin on her body only to be answered with the most amazing fit of giggles I've ever heard. The night was coming to a close and I drove her home. Still wasn't getting any clear signals as to her interest or not, so as I dropped her off I gave her a huge hug and ran away. For the first time in my life I was playing it cool and not overdoing everything. We had exchanged numbers and I've never been good at the whole 2-day wait or whatever that stupid fucking rule is supposed to be. I called her the next day just to thank her for joining us and to talk one on one a bit more. She expressed a mild distaste for talking on the phone but did mention that she wanted to get together for some sensation play (needles, electricity, impact, etc). This was still expressed to be on a friendship level, and was not to be considered a date. I love any chance I can get to cause a bit of pain when requested so I was more than eager to accept the invite. But by her choice of words in the invite I had pretty well given up hope of there being a romantic spark, which allowed me to let down my guard quite a bit more and be much more comfortable in the exchange (this was probably the best move I made). We proceeded to play for hours and I soon came to the realization that her giggle would be the death of me. Simply because when I push her limits to a new level and find a pain she's never felt before she errupts in a fit of laughter that I enjoy a bit too much. At some point in the evening she mentions that she's not going to kiss me. Though the passion between us rises to a point of being nearly unbearable at times I accept this completely and just continue in our play. At some point towards the end of the evening, at the exact same moment, both of our barriers crumble and we melt into eachother. What follows is the most incredible feeling of comfort and balance that I could possible imagine. Over the next four days we were glued to eachother, talking, kissing, playing, and constantly being amazed by eachother. I went from not having a single plan for x-mas to recieving the most amazing gift I could imagine. Since we've been together I have found a level of comfort and love that I did not think could even exist. She amazes me on a daily basis showing me that it really is possible to find someone that is your perfect equal.

In every daily encounter you have to use a filter on your thoughts. You can not just express every thing that comes to mind without risking the chance of hurting, offending, destroying friendships, relationships, etc. When I'm with Tiana I can completely shut off my filter and express myself freely and completely without any worry of reprucussions. Life is wonderful and I have found my soul mate.

Yes, Jeremy is in love and damn proud of it.