(no subject)
Well, I feel it coming on, a bout of depression that is. I write about it and though writing I come to realizations and revelaitons. The symptoms are clear, everyone that has seen me go though this before already sees a change in me. I just dont know whats brining it on, there are at least 5 things I can think of that make me feel "down", but this is below down. I wouldnt really post but if you know me well enough then you know I'm going though so sort of change, so why not just write, and write some more? I feel a little better after I write, or rant, its a way for me to think of things, I guess...Anyone know what I'm talking about?
I feel like giving up(not suicide shit), but with school. I have one week left and I can't bring myself to study and if I do, I can't concentrate. I'm going to fail math, right there I'm a failure, I don't think I should even waste the time to do my final. I'm doing well in psychology, but only because its so simple, so easy to understand, and notion of the human mind that I've ever accuired w/o being taught, I was right on, so I suppose I find it intresting....*get back to this*....Art History, who the hell knows? I should pass with a 2., but thats not good enough to transfer, I'll be in a 2 year college for 4 years, sadly.
But back to pschyology, I always look at others lives and can point out their problems, if they share even 20% of the information, I can give good advice, but really, who's ever take one's advice and applied it to their lives? I know I haven't...It's the whole "You're not walking in my shoes" attitude, I think. But lets get to my life, it sucks, and the hardest part of it is not knowing why it sucks, not knowing why I'm sad or pissed, or whatever other feeling I'm going though at that moment in time. Imagine having a watch and one day it quits working, imagine you cant go to a professional to get it fixed so you try it on your own. You replace the battries, still not working, you wind it, still not working, eventually you take that watch apart trying to figure out what is wrong with it, you never figure out what is broken in it/on it, and you can't put it back together. That best describes the way I feel as of lately.
I feel like giving up(not suicide shit), but with school. I have one week left and I can't bring myself to study and if I do, I can't concentrate. I'm going to fail math, right there I'm a failure, I don't think I should even waste the time to do my final. I'm doing well in psychology, but only because its so simple, so easy to understand, and notion of the human mind that I've ever accuired w/o being taught, I was right on, so I suppose I find it intresting....*get back to this*....Art History, who the hell knows? I should pass with a 2., but thats not good enough to transfer, I'll be in a 2 year college for 4 years, sadly.
But back to pschyology, I always look at others lives and can point out their problems, if they share even 20% of the information, I can give good advice, but really, who's ever take one's advice and applied it to their lives? I know I haven't...It's the whole "You're not walking in my shoes" attitude, I think. But lets get to my life, it sucks, and the hardest part of it is not knowing why it sucks, not knowing why I'm sad or pissed, or whatever other feeling I'm going though at that moment in time. Imagine having a watch and one day it quits working, imagine you cant go to a professional to get it fixed so you try it on your own. You replace the battries, still not working, you wind it, still not working, eventually you take that watch apart trying to figure out what is wrong with it, you never figure out what is broken in it/on it, and you can't put it back together. That best describes the way I feel as of lately.