Mar 05, 2017 02:02
After witnessing Dragon Ball Super (episode 81) warp at my intentions of witnessing icky false universes erased, I had flashbacks to the critical January 2006 event which I have mentioned on this journal for over a decade.
Yes. That "blue place" event....... .
After a decade, I think I can explain it now??? But, let's cover the event in depth.
I was in a state of shock, frozen shock and terror back then..... . After witnessing horrific cruelty, and a toxic h3!!house setup blitzed at me December 2005 / January 2006, grave heart issues came over me. Congestive heart issues where my lungs filled with fluid, and I gasped for my life...... . A cruel and fat warden 'figure' cracked jokes at me, and stalked at me day and night as I was couch-bound with health issues...... . All I know, is that I was ready to sacrifice all my life, all my energy, all my being to be a shield unto anybody who needed protection from evil...., sanctuary from evil, sanctuary from monsters like the ones I had witnessed (Jehovah, Satan, Choronzon, etc). (*Blinks as feels a loving kiss as I type*). I wanted to offer my life up to be a permanent and eternal shield unto the innocent, that not even knowing how nor if my consciousness would even remain intact.
A night....., after the fluid in my lungs cleared up a bit, I slumped into my usual fainted state......for the time. Suddenly, amidst everything being dark, a lucent blue light, a sacred and holy....light.., appeared and expanded into my field of vision, and then overtook me..... . What did it feel like???? Well, my reflexive response was a scream of startled shock...., because heaven was here, sanctuary was here, and there was no evil...period.........in regard to all space, all time, all history!!!! NONE!!!!! It was not some "Hindu" "tantra" "sex" or "kundalini" nonsense. Perfection was real, and it was ***everywhere***. There was a blue expanse with a sleeping / still......figure / being with beyond anime closed eye features, and a blue energy that was free from 'entropy', free from 'heat' 'death'. Me??? I just gasped, gawked, because I did not know how such a holy and limitless energy could even exist, and my mind was totally overwhelmed by the sheer scope, purity, innocence, and vitality of the bluish and divine energy.
Suddenly...though my perception of the blue expanse seemed to condense, and I found myself witnessing Wilmington again, and I gasping....in shock at the acidic, caustic, and "h3llfire" based 'environment'..... . It was like had dived headlong at a sewer...... .
Last month, and during the last bit of January, (!!!) I felt that blue energy again multiple ti!es...IRL. And that amidst being in a regular wakeful state over here. During said event, I also sensed holy energy akin to that of platinum, gold, silver, and a (????) crystal of sorts?????
Me? I think what happened in 2006 could have been a reality shifting surge event...., and maybe that rather than a vision. It was real. I had, however tenuous, access to some form (???) of unstoppable divine energy........ . Some kind of virgin energy that blew my mind...... . A blue and hyperluminous...holy energy. Could it have been a true vision of the future traversing all space and time to reach me in the past?????
Me? I do not intend blasphemy here. I do not know how I could be linked in any way to holiness and divinity. Yea, but fact is...I have ***some*** (!?!?!! seeming link (!!!???!!!) and / or access in some way, shape, or form...to a holy energy which I never expected me to even have a link to. Me??? I strive for perfection / holiness / divinity in absolute uncertainty for the sake of others, but that is because I want to protect and nurture those in need. Whatever I am, whoever I am, I do not want to be like the enemy, and wrongly claim being divine, wrongly claim at being good, wrongly claim at being holy, wrongly claim at being a holy Goddess..... . Divinity should be observed in others, not claimed by self.
Hmmmmm. My mind, even with all I have been through, struggles though ~~~ to understand how the holy "blue place" energy could even exist, or ever exist.
And my gosh, why am I w..wielding it in sporadic bouts as of last month??? Has it been granted to me or something, and I just have to properly condition myself to utilize it properly????
The key to victory for me.....can't be pummeling some pitiful and uninspiring dragon. The key to victory has ***GOT*** to be wielding and harnessing that unstoppable and sanctified....holy virginal energy which (!?!!) I unexpectedly (!?!) perceived in 2005, and unexpectedly wielded last month (2017). No stupid anime gimmicks even apply here, for anime does not even give a hint to what I am talking about...... . Yea. I'll have to do some detective work in regard to reading my journal entries from last month in an attempt to find clues?
And even if I were to wake up witnessing an anime world tomorrow, or even on my own ship in deep space, I would still be noting the gutter unless that "blue place" is in effect and established for all space and time.
(*Thinks about the Infinversal Routing Gem theory*). Be it deactivating a "Big Bang Gem", or even moving on IRL, I need to focus on wielding that mysterious energy anytime.....and anywhere IRL. Key is, how? Who or what can coax it forth from me again?????
divinity,
holy energy,
divine energy,
mystery,
the blue place,
virgin energy,
saintstarlight mana,
mysterious energy