can't... stop... hands... from shaking...
So yeah, I'm at my aunt's in Harrisburg right now.
The butterflies won't go away in my stomach. There's so many, it hurts.
So much is happening. I can't slow my thoughts, nor can I calm my breaths.
1- A certain someone should stay as far away from me as possible just in case I can't control myself and try to rip him in half. I don't want to hurt anyone... but he's one of those people who just made THE WRONG MOVE. Hurting both my sister and I simultaneously, spreading lies and tearing apart a family: sorry, I don't tolerate crimes like that. It's one thing to break the rules for "true love", but it's another to deeply hurt people... lying cheating bastard.
2- I might not go back to Mansfield AT ALL.
My grandmother is really sick. I mean, she always is, but I'm afraid that she's really not going to be around much longer. What if she dies while I'm away at school? I don't want that to happen. And in addition to that, my grandmother's pension is pretty much what my entire household is living off of. We're already in a financial rut, and if she dies, we might have to sell the house and move away. And paying for school is just so hard...
Things like this can't happen while I'm 4 hours away from my family.
And going to school this fall is a waste of money in the first place because I'm not taking any significant classes that actually have to do with what I really want to do.
I have SO many things that I have to take care of right here at home.
I can't risk abandoning those who need me and those I need for another four months.
The clock doesn't just stop while I'm away; things move forward without me. I can't start right where I left off after fall semester.
*sigh*... what an insane summer this has been. :/
The butterflies won't go away in my stomach. There's so many, it hurts.
So much is happening. I can't slow my thoughts, nor can I calm my breaths.
1- A certain someone should stay as far away from me as possible just in case I can't control myself and try to rip him in half. I don't want to hurt anyone... but he's one of those people who just made THE WRONG MOVE. Hurting both my sister and I simultaneously, spreading lies and tearing apart a family: sorry, I don't tolerate crimes like that. It's one thing to break the rules for "true love", but it's another to deeply hurt people... lying cheating bastard.
2- I might not go back to Mansfield AT ALL.
My grandmother is really sick. I mean, she always is, but I'm afraid that she's really not going to be around much longer. What if she dies while I'm away at school? I don't want that to happen. And in addition to that, my grandmother's pension is pretty much what my entire household is living off of. We're already in a financial rut, and if she dies, we might have to sell the house and move away. And paying for school is just so hard...
Things like this can't happen while I'm 4 hours away from my family.
And going to school this fall is a waste of money in the first place because I'm not taking any significant classes that actually have to do with what I really want to do.
I have SO many things that I have to take care of right here at home.
I can't risk abandoning those who need me and those I need for another four months.
The clock doesn't just stop while I'm away; things move forward without me. I can't start right where I left off after fall semester.
*sigh*... what an insane summer this has been. :/