this life i have built with you.
so much to be doing
but i've been so much all day.
i got so much done today for the wedding
for work
i dont know how i did it
it felt awesome
of course i am sure i fucked up somehow today so i will get spoken to about it tomorrow.
i dont know whats up with this job
i dont feel like i can get anything right.
i'm hoping i can prove myself in the next few months.
otherwise i think i might need to look for a new job.
i dont think i can work this job forever.
i think i want to do something else later on down the line.
not for a while though
i'd like to be there a few years
a soild stepping stone
but i want to be good at it too.
i dont know what they'll do when i quit, i dont want to hold up cindy's retirement
but i dont seriously see me doing her job,
i wonder if the right thing to do would be quit sooner rather than later.
problem is i cant quit i need the money and i wont find another job as good as this one i dont think
until i finish school
i dont think my body can handle drywall anymore
and that's my fall back from this.
i dont want to do that.
i have to break away from it somehow,
schools going to be the ticket
i wont be able to do any side jobs
the wedding will be done and i wont need to work extra because i am going to get FASFA and anything other student aid i can get.
i think i'll get alot for this year but not so much next year.
i'll worry about next year when the time comes... gotta get this year started.
my brain wont shut down and i dont know what to do with it.
no poetic bullshit tonight
just a random stew of brains
oozing out of my head.
that's what happens when i get on a roll
a swift kick in the ass was what i needed to see i was going to fuck my life up yet again
and i cant do that
i dont want that and i have to do whatever i can to save my life before i drown
i think chris saves me somehow from that,
i dont know how exactly
i finally feel like we're working together
i feel like this wedding is going to be the best choice i have ever made,
i think no matter what this one thing will work out.
i think we can do it, somehow he and i are going to pull each other through like we always do.
keep pushing baby we're going to come up roses.
but i've been so much all day.
i got so much done today for the wedding
for work
i dont know how i did it
it felt awesome
of course i am sure i fucked up somehow today so i will get spoken to about it tomorrow.
i dont know whats up with this job
i dont feel like i can get anything right.
i'm hoping i can prove myself in the next few months.
otherwise i think i might need to look for a new job.
i dont think i can work this job forever.
i think i want to do something else later on down the line.
not for a while though
i'd like to be there a few years
a soild stepping stone
but i want to be good at it too.
i dont know what they'll do when i quit, i dont want to hold up cindy's retirement
but i dont seriously see me doing her job,
i wonder if the right thing to do would be quit sooner rather than later.
problem is i cant quit i need the money and i wont find another job as good as this one i dont think
until i finish school
i dont think my body can handle drywall anymore
and that's my fall back from this.
i dont want to do that.
i have to break away from it somehow,
schools going to be the ticket
i wont be able to do any side jobs
the wedding will be done and i wont need to work extra because i am going to get FASFA and anything other student aid i can get.
i think i'll get alot for this year but not so much next year.
i'll worry about next year when the time comes... gotta get this year started.
my brain wont shut down and i dont know what to do with it.
no poetic bullshit tonight
just a random stew of brains
oozing out of my head.
that's what happens when i get on a roll
a swift kick in the ass was what i needed to see i was going to fuck my life up yet again
and i cant do that
i dont want that and i have to do whatever i can to save my life before i drown
i think chris saves me somehow from that,
i dont know how exactly
i finally feel like we're working together
i feel like this wedding is going to be the best choice i have ever made,
i think no matter what this one thing will work out.
i think we can do it, somehow he and i are going to pull each other through like we always do.
keep pushing baby we're going to come up roses.