all this time i thought that i was getting somewhere

[jaguar1211]

i never thought i'd break so easily

make me something i'm not
just to make yourself feel better
these lies are see through
crystal clear
and i cant take anymore of it
i'm done with this
i'm done with you
you can no longer touch me
i am numb

i have a car
i have a car
I HAVE A FUCKING CAR!

all this time and i can't even begin to describe the feeling
a car
a nice car
one that's mine
all mine
all paid for
all mine
no one else. it's not borrowed
it's not loaned
it's mine!

seriously it's been a long hard road and it feels like it's finally getting better
but i dont hold out for too much
i try not to get to excited
i am waiting for something to go horribly terribly wrong because it's just been so long since anything has been good.
is this the light i have been looking at?
the pin prick on the horizion so far away it seemed as though i'd never reach it never get there.
can we do this right?

i'm looking at money in the bank
i'm looking at bill's being paid on time
i'm looking at saving
and i'm waiting for the catch.

there is alway a catch

it funny.

it's also strange the way people look at me.
i dont know how it is anymore
i feel judge by everyone
i feel like i can't make anyone happy
that people are tired of me
tired of this.
i'm tired too
more than anyone else i am tired
and i am burnt and i am ready for some good times
some easier times
i am ready to live

and somehow i am still a novelty
and i find it ironic
don't look at me
you dont even know me.
let it go

i miss you
more than i thought i would
and at the same time i feel no differently
it's strange how things work out.
the time is so filled i dont have a moment to think about myself
let alone the absence of you
i'm here
i wait
i always waited
it's no different now than it ever was
or ever will be.
so long as you come home to me.

just say you love me and break my jaw.