she was free
i've been working hard lately. hard enough that I don't start to think until the sun goes down. i end up remembering to be depressed though, but it's still not as bad. less time to think is good. it feels like ages since I've seen people though. i miss our happy group. i miss a lot of things, but what I miss the most is not missing ANYTHING. i have what anyone should need, money, possesions, family, friends, a future, I even had a girl, I just feel longing... something empty. Why? is it our society? or is it just me? the future just isn't exciting if it's all the same, at least I can hope it's not going to be. it wont be... it'll be better...
"And I want to scream out that it is all nonsense.
Oh your life's one track, and can't you see it's pointless?
But then, my knees give under me. My head feels weak and
suddenly it is clear to see that it is not them but me, who has lost my self-identity.
As I hide behind these books I read, while scribbling my poetry,
like art could save a wretch like me, with some ideal ideology that no one can hope to achieve.
And I am never real; it is just a sketch of me.
And everything I've made is trite and cheap and a waste of paint, of tape, of time."
"And try to just keep moving on, with my broken heart and my absent God
and I have no faith but it is all I want, to be loved and believe in my soul, in my soul..."
"And I want to scream out that it is all nonsense.
Oh your life's one track, and can't you see it's pointless?
But then, my knees give under me. My head feels weak and
suddenly it is clear to see that it is not them but me, who has lost my self-identity.
As I hide behind these books I read, while scribbling my poetry,
like art could save a wretch like me, with some ideal ideology that no one can hope to achieve.
And I am never real; it is just a sketch of me.
And everything I've made is trite and cheap and a waste of paint, of tape, of time."
"And try to just keep moving on, with my broken heart and my absent God
and I have no faith but it is all I want, to be loved and believe in my soul, in my soul..."