In the year 2000...
In a controversial move, Ted Kennedy's head will be added to Mt. Rushmore. Not a sculpture- his actual head.
Every product sold in America's grocery stores will be lemon-scented, except lemons.
Faxes will give way to a new and more horrific form of instantaneous communication- The Screaming Toilet.
Packaged Toll House cookies will become so moist and chewy that people will no longer fear death.
In the worst hospital mix-up ever, doctors in Florida will accidentally amputate a man's leg, hollow it out, and play it like a flute.
In an effort to outdo her previous halftime shows at the Super Bowl, Diana Ross will exit the stadium and ascend to the right hand of God, where she will judge the living and the dead.
Children will begin growing up so fast that the nursery rhyme "One, Two, Buckle My Shoe" will be replaced by the more realistic "One, Two, Dammit, I'm Pregnant."
Magician David Copperfield will finally reveal how he does his amazing tricks: he's Jesus.
Ross Perot is finally elected president. Analysts attribute his victory to voters' dissatisfaction with Washington politics, and their great fear of his giant robot.
Scientists will be shocked to discover that the monkey responsible for the Ebola virus was also responsible for the Macarena.
The language of the cow is finally deciphered. The word "moo" means "I dare you to slaughter and eat me."
Starbucks makes franchise history by opening a Starbucks inside an existing Starbucks.
~Conan O'Brien
Every product sold in America's grocery stores will be lemon-scented, except lemons.
Faxes will give way to a new and more horrific form of instantaneous communication- The Screaming Toilet.
Packaged Toll House cookies will become so moist and chewy that people will no longer fear death.
In the worst hospital mix-up ever, doctors in Florida will accidentally amputate a man's leg, hollow it out, and play it like a flute.
In an effort to outdo her previous halftime shows at the Super Bowl, Diana Ross will exit the stadium and ascend to the right hand of God, where she will judge the living and the dead.
Children will begin growing up so fast that the nursery rhyme "One, Two, Buckle My Shoe" will be replaced by the more realistic "One, Two, Dammit, I'm Pregnant."
Magician David Copperfield will finally reveal how he does his amazing tricks: he's Jesus.
Ross Perot is finally elected president. Analysts attribute his victory to voters' dissatisfaction with Washington politics, and their great fear of his giant robot.
Scientists will be shocked to discover that the monkey responsible for the Ebola virus was also responsible for the Macarena.
The language of the cow is finally deciphered. The word "moo" means "I dare you to slaughter and eat me."
Starbucks makes franchise history by opening a Starbucks inside an existing Starbucks.
~Conan O'Brien