mortality, its parellels, and how I wanna be remembered here
I'm still on 29 years old, in probably the best health I've ever been. My career hasn't even officially started yet. I've got so much in the future to look forward to. The excitement of the unknown. There's alot of things under my control, decisions to make. At the same time there's lots that's I have absolutely no control over. Life is pretty cool that way.
I'm about to turn the big three-oh. Soon I will be a grown up. My life as a student is ending. I will turn from a baby doctor into a grown up doctor. I've gone from parent's home, to dorm, to apartment, to apartment, to rental house, and hopefully to my own house. I'm gonna be starting to look for a new job, somewhere.
And unlike previous iterations, this change will be for the long term (most likely).
Its awesome cause it'll be a new chapter in my life. But its also scary because after that, then what? I guess if I'm lucky I'll live a stable life, no big changes, until comes the day that I die. Again, if I'm lucky. There's some kind of odd sense of finality in what's about to change in my life that's kinda surreal.
I'd always hoped that I'd die at an old age in some kind of spectacular accident doing something I enjoyed. Like crashing into tree in my second bid to learn to snowboard ate the age of 70... or getting hit by bus while bouncing down the street in my 50 year old Jaggers fursuit. Or maybe even die in the act of saving someone else's life. Oh how noble that would be.
But I guess we don't have any control over how we die, unless you make it happen on purpose (which I would never do).
So when that happens, if FA and these journal posts still exists, I just wanna say a few things to remember me by.
I've been involved in the furry fandom since I was a sophomore in high school. Initially just on the sidelines, and eventually I made some friends in chat rooms, and people I talked to on AIM. Made some great long lasting friendships that way. Took me awhile to actually consider myself "furry". I never thought I'd be as involved in it as I have.
I started developing Jaggers as a character. Initially if felt creepy to even refer to myself as Jaggers. I always talked about him in the third person. I eventually went to my first con in 2004. And OMG did I think fursuits were creepy. Then again, the quality of them has changed alot since then. Over time I identified more with my character. I also identified more with other furries. Made more friends. Closer friendships. Friendships some ways more shallow, but also many ways deeper, than the relationship I made in the real world.
Meanwhile I kept going with school. Didn't lose sight of the real life stuff. But furry is what kept me wierd. I don't think I would be the same person today if I didn't have this bazaar, secret, second life to turn to when I needed it. And needed it alot I did. Initially it was flash movies, chatting on line. Now its shifted more to going to cons, fursuiting. Posting journals I always did alot. I wish I had more time and energy to contribute to the fandom, somehow give back to how much its given me. But I guess there's plenty of talented, and likeable, furries out there to do that.
Most of all I am grateful for all the great people I've met here. Friends, acquaintances, familiar faces, even people I don't like. I hope I have, and will, make a positive influence on at least some of your lives. You certainly have for me, and I think you for that. :)
I'm about to turn the big three-oh. Soon I will be a grown up. My life as a student is ending. I will turn from a baby doctor into a grown up doctor. I've gone from parent's home, to dorm, to apartment, to apartment, to rental house, and hopefully to my own house. I'm gonna be starting to look for a new job, somewhere.
And unlike previous iterations, this change will be for the long term (most likely).
Its awesome cause it'll be a new chapter in my life. But its also scary because after that, then what? I guess if I'm lucky I'll live a stable life, no big changes, until comes the day that I die. Again, if I'm lucky. There's some kind of odd sense of finality in what's about to change in my life that's kinda surreal.
I'd always hoped that I'd die at an old age in some kind of spectacular accident doing something I enjoyed. Like crashing into tree in my second bid to learn to snowboard ate the age of 70... or getting hit by bus while bouncing down the street in my 50 year old Jaggers fursuit. Or maybe even die in the act of saving someone else's life. Oh how noble that would be.
But I guess we don't have any control over how we die, unless you make it happen on purpose (which I would never do).
So when that happens, if FA and these journal posts still exists, I just wanna say a few things to remember me by.
I've been involved in the furry fandom since I was a sophomore in high school. Initially just on the sidelines, and eventually I made some friends in chat rooms, and people I talked to on AIM. Made some great long lasting friendships that way. Took me awhile to actually consider myself "furry". I never thought I'd be as involved in it as I have.
I started developing Jaggers as a character. Initially if felt creepy to even refer to myself as Jaggers. I always talked about him in the third person. I eventually went to my first con in 2004. And OMG did I think fursuits were creepy. Then again, the quality of them has changed alot since then. Over time I identified more with my character. I also identified more with other furries. Made more friends. Closer friendships. Friendships some ways more shallow, but also many ways deeper, than the relationship I made in the real world.
Meanwhile I kept going with school. Didn't lose sight of the real life stuff. But furry is what kept me wierd. I don't think I would be the same person today if I didn't have this bazaar, secret, second life to turn to when I needed it. And needed it alot I did. Initially it was flash movies, chatting on line. Now its shifted more to going to cons, fursuiting. Posting journals I always did alot. I wish I had more time and energy to contribute to the fandom, somehow give back to how much its given me. But I guess there's plenty of talented, and likeable, furries out there to do that.
Most of all I am grateful for all the great people I've met here. Friends, acquaintances, familiar faces, even people I don't like. I hope I have, and will, make a positive influence on at least some of your lives. You certainly have for me, and I think you for that. :)