(no subject)

[jaggedxknives]

why cant i be like every one else. just live life and be happy. smile and have fun. i wish i could be like the so many smiling faces that pass me on the street. but that life just seems not to be for me. no matter what i do i always feel the same. i catch my self smiling and then it unstantly goes away. its like i have a whole in my heart that all the love and happiness just leaks out of and falls to the ground to be trampeled on by those smiling faces once again. this whole seems to tear and grow bigger every time i see another smile. the ones i hold dear to me are the only ones who ever fill this whole and as soon as im not near them it opens again and leaks even worse. i need to plug this whole.
xoxox
<3
josh