Scared and trying to keep strong
thursday morning i felt week and light headed,. i brushed it off and took a shower got ready for school and while asking my mom for a ride i collapsed, trying to get up on my own i realized i couldnt see, all i saw were black and blue spots, no color and no idea what was going on. i only heard the voices of my mom and step dad commenting on how white i was and had no color in my face, they said my lip color had faided.. i was rushed to the hospital to find out that nothing could be done right away, no awnsers... this had happen to me once before 9 months ago.. so the end result i found nothing out other than the cause of this could be my own. i had a very bad history of drug abuse and it seems i didnt quit soon enough. because of my coke addiction and coke use, this happen to me, its not for sure yet but they are saying its very likly. i have to get a cat scan and im on medication to reduce the chances of this happening. im scared. im trying to hold my head high, but im terrified, it just makes me so pissed that i have changed my ways but because of who i use to be that this has happen to me... i just hope that no one else will go through this, but thats very unlikly and it will. if anyone is reading this and thinks that drugs are harmless there not and u are in harms way, im going through so much and its not worth it. i cant walk or brush my teeth let alone go to the bathroom without concentration. my spelling, my math everything is off, even my thinking, everything... i cant function because of whatever this is thats going on. i will find out soon enough what it is thats causing this and find out if we can cure what ever it is that i could have. ill keep everyone posted.