I am an idiot.. and i'm sorry
Last night I really screwed up. Me and Eric had our
first fight in 6 months. It was my fault. I'm so insecure.
Why can't I just get it through my head that this isnt a
matt safko relationship and I wont have to put up with
4:00 in the morning calls of a boy crying telling me he
cheated on me.
I can't get over this and I use it like a fuckin
shield to bounce my problems off of, when i dont
even have any! my mind gets to me and screws
everything up.
crystal 0671: I really cant wait till you come home. like I am so excited, all I want to do is hold you and just breathe the same air you do.
EJF: You are incrediable
EJF: why are you soo nice to me
I wish I felt like I was being nice...
I feel like i'm crawling on my knees begging for forgivness.
My mom heard us fighting and I talked to her after.
She told me she was the same exact way with my dad
so I use that as my scapegoat.
I am a girl its what i do! (ihateittho)
So, other than that, today was alright.
except the end.
Megghan's Life is going down the drain and ive given up
on trying to help her and trying to fix her life. Just
looking at her you know she's a cold hearted bitch who
is never happy because she refuses to let herself. The
kind of person who could easily fix herself but doesnt
because she enjoys being cold.
------------^I said all of this the nicest way I could
there is no talking to her, without a fight.
She has no respect for her friends. Today my friend Cameron
got off the bus and the first thing out of her mouth.. I
couldnt understand at first but she was like "white boy-
trying to be black" or something and "I hate him" and then
she smiled at me.
I stood up and just said "Stop it" because I dont feel like
hearing about how she doesnt like him and why. She dated John
safko for fucks sake. The kid who changed his style everyday.
One day he's hardcore thug and the next hardcore goth. I dont
want to hear it.
then she tried to get all hard-ass on me and tell me what I
can and cannot do.
"Dont tell me to stop, Ill do whatever I want"
---I rolled my eyes, fighting with her is a dead end.
"Dont roll your eyes at me"
then I stood up "I can say whatever I want, if you dont like it
you can walk over here and say it straight to my face"
--- she laughed and said no
I said "Thats what I thought" then I got up and talked to
someone else.
I held myself back so much and it was so hard. It
just sucks, She has no respect for anyone, and it
sucks for the fact she was one of my friends and
I can't get her out of her mess. I tried but i'm
not a cold-hearted bitch who is horrible to everyone.
So after that shit, I came in the house and ate some
of my moms bean soup. The internet wasnt working and
niether was the cable. So we were watching movies. I
wanted to sleep, so I tried but then I heard ryan about
to come in and i knew he would wake me up, so I went
upstairs and went to sleep in my bed. I woke up around
6 and then did all my homework.
I just got done chatting with eric
I w i l l w a i t f o r e v e r a n d e v e r*
first fight in 6 months. It was my fault. I'm so insecure.
Why can't I just get it through my head that this isnt a
matt safko relationship and I wont have to put up with
4:00 in the morning calls of a boy crying telling me he
cheated on me.
I can't get over this and I use it like a fuckin
shield to bounce my problems off of, when i dont
even have any! my mind gets to me and screws
everything up.
crystal 0671: I really cant wait till you come home. like I am so excited, all I want to do is hold you and just breathe the same air you do.
EJF: You are incrediable
EJF: why are you soo nice to me
I wish I felt like I was being nice...
I feel like i'm crawling on my knees begging for forgivness.
My mom heard us fighting and I talked to her after.
She told me she was the same exact way with my dad
so I use that as my scapegoat.
I am a girl its what i do! (ihateittho)
So, other than that, today was alright.
except the end.
Megghan's Life is going down the drain and ive given up
on trying to help her and trying to fix her life. Just
looking at her you know she's a cold hearted bitch who
is never happy because she refuses to let herself. The
kind of person who could easily fix herself but doesnt
because she enjoys being cold.
------------^I said all of this the nicest way I could
there is no talking to her, without a fight.
She has no respect for her friends. Today my friend Cameron
got off the bus and the first thing out of her mouth.. I
couldnt understand at first but she was like "white boy-
trying to be black" or something and "I hate him" and then
she smiled at me.
I stood up and just said "Stop it" because I dont feel like
hearing about how she doesnt like him and why. She dated John
safko for fucks sake. The kid who changed his style everyday.
One day he's hardcore thug and the next hardcore goth. I dont
want to hear it.
then she tried to get all hard-ass on me and tell me what I
can and cannot do.
"Dont tell me to stop, Ill do whatever I want"
---I rolled my eyes, fighting with her is a dead end.
"Dont roll your eyes at me"
then I stood up "I can say whatever I want, if you dont like it
you can walk over here and say it straight to my face"
--- she laughed and said no
I said "Thats what I thought" then I got up and talked to
someone else.
I held myself back so much and it was so hard. It
just sucks, She has no respect for anyone, and it
sucks for the fact she was one of my friends and
I can't get her out of her mess. I tried but i'm
not a cold-hearted bitch who is horrible to everyone.
So after that shit, I came in the house and ate some
of my moms bean soup. The internet wasnt working and
niether was the cable. So we were watching movies. I
wanted to sleep, so I tried but then I heard ryan about
to come in and i knew he would wake me up, so I went
upstairs and went to sleep in my bed. I woke up around
6 and then did all my homework.
I just got done chatting with eric
I w i l l w a i t f o r e v e r a n d e v e r*