my mother's start writing poetry again...
Lilacs
--for Leslie Ragan
You need to know there were lilacs
In my hospital room-
Big sheaves of them, laying heavy heads
Against thin leaves of new green.
Nine pounds and fourteen ounces,
Eyes of the sea, your father’s mouth.
You survived the lilacs, strangers,
Casual parenting, thoughtlessness.
Look closely, each individual lilac flower
is four lobed, with deep violet centers.
You need to know I regret my neglect
In your childhood with desperate sorrow.
How many times have I told you that?
And what does it mean to you now?
I tried to learn to say I did the best I could,
but the most I can manage is I did
The best I knew to do at the time,
And that there were lavender lilacs
In my hospital room
The first time I ever held you.
-Jo Rittenhouse
--for Leslie Ragan
You need to know there were lilacs
In my hospital room-
Big sheaves of them, laying heavy heads
Against thin leaves of new green.
Nine pounds and fourteen ounces,
Eyes of the sea, your father’s mouth.
You survived the lilacs, strangers,
Casual parenting, thoughtlessness.
Look closely, each individual lilac flower
is four lobed, with deep violet centers.
You need to know I regret my neglect
In your childhood with desperate sorrow.
How many times have I told you that?
And what does it mean to you now?
I tried to learn to say I did the best I could,
but the most I can manage is I did
The best I knew to do at the time,
And that there were lavender lilacs
In my hospital room
The first time I ever held you.
-Jo Rittenhouse