5 days until my B-day =)
If you really pay attention to every little thing that happens to you in a day you can solve all the problems you face. Only its hard for me or focus that much.. plus most of the time I don't really want to solve my problems. I enjoy them.
I was watching Seinfeld during the afternoon while I was waiting to go to Happy Hour and its been on my mind ever since. It was about when Elaine asked Jerry if guys are lying when they say they have to wake up early. Jerry said that it was a bullshit lie b/c any guy will replace sleep with sex. So Elaine replied with "So maybe its true that I'm not as pretty as I think I am".
I can't help but relate.
*******
I'm mad at myself b/c I keep trying to find something in someone who is not what I'm looking for. I know its dumb of me to like this kid, There is no way we will ever be together but in the back of my head I can't help but wonder. I would be so miserable. Only in my fantasy I'm the happiest girl on earth. It just sucks when you care for someone so much and there isn't even one feeling in their body that feels the same towards you.. Why do I do this to myself?
I had to write about it in hopes that someone can at least give me some sympathy b/c everyone I know and interact with in real life has their own problems they are having to deal with and I spend most of my time listening to them. I try and mention my own issues but I get maybe a minute or two to talk, then its back to what they have on their mind.
I think I just need to receive a hug, not give one.