Push, Push, Push///And So i grey the heart and the shape

[jaex]

 As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn beyond the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Life is never set in one direction for me,
its constantly spiraling downward

feel the rhythm, to
feel connected,
enough to step aside and,
weep like a widow, to
feel inspired, to
fathom the power, to
witness the beauty, to
bathe in the fountain, to
swing on the spiral,

Its a constant change, 
and maybe one day i'll come to accept that,
but for now,
it still kills what little is left of me

Feed my will to feel this moment, urging me to cross the line.
Reaching out to embrace the random.
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.

I think im finally giving up,
i lost the will to live,
im exhausted of it all, already
such a young age,
as the years go by,
the worse it will become,
tearing apart... tearing apart....tearing me apart

And what can I say but I'm wired this way and you're wired to me
And what can I do but wallow in you unintentionally?

Can i get used to not having you around anymore?

Why me? Why this now? Why this way?

My Constant question, always,
no matter the situation

My emotions are crazy on my period.