Jaejoong held a part time job in a pub just outside the campus, and he performed by invitation. He had a really good voice, and it could probably draw tears from a stone if he bothered to try.
He only laughed at me as he tossed it onto my bed carelessly. I occupied the lower bunk, but it was a holding place for Jaejoong's junk in the day.
"I had an hour thirty of performance tonight, so I was taking requests as usual, and for the last song, somebody requested Honey Funny Bunny," he nodded enthusiastically and I just pulled a grimace, it was a song from Jaejoong's favorite band. I could imagine how pleased he must have been to actually be requested to perform his idol's song.
"You know the lyrics, right?" I pulled my leg up onto the swivel chair with a careless nod. Obviously I would. He had played the disc so many times while we were cramming for our entrance exams, for goodness's sake.
"Then oh my god, at the end guess who came up!" He covered his megawatt smile with the back of his hand as he doubled over in laughter. I could feel my insides lurching as I watched how happy he was, his eyes literally shining. I was blinded, bitterly so.
"Yunho came up with the bouquet and he got onto one knee," he scrambled up as he shook me by the shoulders, his expression wild and animated.
"Can you believe it! He got onto one knee, and he told me that he never believe in love at first sight, but I made him think otherwise and he asked if I would go out together with him." His words were coming out in a rush like he always did when he was excited, and he was incredibly so, unconsciously yelling in happiness despite the ungodly hour. He had even forgotten to cover his mouth as he smiled openly, painted in euphoria and exuberance.
I was flooded with thoughts right then. He hadn't even told me who Yunho was, but I knew enough without even asking. And Yunho had done it. He had said the one thing that I could never do, and he had jumped my queue. But was there even one? But at the same time, as much as my heart panged, I couldn't help but note idly how good Jaejoong looked. This happiness suited him, I couldn't help but notice, and I wanted to cry, to burst out wailing right then as I slapped his hands off in betrayal.
I only smiled wanly at him, my face a mask of complete composure. "Did you accept him?" I didn't even know why I bothered to ask. If he hadn't, he wouldn't be clutching the bouquet with such adoration, would he? Even Jaejoong knew it, as he made an extravagant show of rolling his eyes. I suppose I just wanted to hear it, to confirm the status of my heart.
"Obviously! He's so cute, and he was so perfect, and he likes Dong Bang Shin Ki, and he said..."
I couldn't even hear any longer.
My heart was pronounced dead.
Later that night, when he left to wash Monster Bean, I approached his bouquet tentatively, my eyes stinging with sadness and acerbic envy. I tore a soft crimson petal slowly, my mind acutely conscious of my actions. Reaching to pluck another blankly, the image of Jaejoong's spirited expression surfaced once more.
Finally releasing the pressure, I picked the lone object of my vengeance coolly before proceeding to tear it into tiny shreds, my fingers moist with the petal's sap. Tossing the confetti bits out of the window, I pressed my face against the glass, stung with the consequence of my helplessness.
- - -
I never wanted to admit it, but he was good. He was.
A good boyfriend, I mean. And I hated it. A lot.
I didn't. I didn't hate it.
He made Jaejoong happy. So I didn't hate how good he was.
But I did. It's a very complicated affair. I don't know whether I hated it.
He only laughed at me as he tossed it onto my bed carelessly. I occupied the lower bunk, but it was a holding place for Jaejoong's junk in the day.
"I had an hour thirty of performance tonight, so I was taking requests as usual, and for the last song, somebody requested Honey Funny Bunny," he nodded enthusiastically and I just pulled a grimace, it was a song from Jaejoong's favorite band. I could imagine how pleased he must have been to actually be requested to perform his idol's song.
"You know the lyrics, right?"
I pulled my leg up onto the swivel chair with a careless nod. Obviously I would. He had played the disc so many times while we were cramming for our entrance exams, for goodness's sake.
"Then oh my god, at the end guess who came up!"
He covered his megawatt smile with the back of his hand as he doubled over in laughter. I could feel my insides lurching as I watched how happy he was, his eyes literally shining.
I was blinded, bitterly so.
"Yunho came up with the bouquet and he got onto one knee," he scrambled up as he shook me by the shoulders, his expression wild and animated.
"Can you believe it! He got onto one knee, and he told me that he never believe in love at first sight, but I made him think otherwise and he asked if I would go out together with him." His words were coming out in a rush like he always did when he was excited, and he was incredibly so, unconsciously yelling in happiness despite the ungodly hour.
He had even forgotten to cover his mouth as he smiled openly, painted in euphoria and exuberance.
I was flooded with thoughts right then. He hadn't even told me who Yunho was, but I knew enough without even asking.
And Yunho had done it.
He had said the one thing that I could never do, and he had jumped my queue. But was there even one?
But at the same time, as much as my heart panged, I couldn't help but note idly how good Jaejoong looked. This happiness suited him, I couldn't help but notice, and I wanted to cry, to burst out wailing right then as I slapped his hands off in betrayal.
I only smiled wanly at him, my face a mask of complete composure.
"Did you accept him?" I didn't even know why I bothered to ask. If he hadn't, he wouldn't be clutching the bouquet with such adoration, would he?
Even Jaejoong knew it, as he made an extravagant show of rolling his eyes. I suppose I just wanted to hear it, to confirm the status of my heart.
"Obviously! He's so cute, and he was so perfect, and he likes Dong Bang Shin Ki, and he said..."
I couldn't even hear any longer.
My heart was pronounced dead.
Later that night, when he left to wash Monster Bean, I approached his bouquet tentatively, my eyes stinging with sadness and acerbic envy.
I tore a soft crimson petal slowly, my mind acutely conscious of my actions. Reaching to pluck another blankly, the image of Jaejoong's spirited expression surfaced once more.
Finally releasing the pressure, I picked the lone object of my vengeance coolly before proceeding to tear it into tiny shreds, my fingers moist with the petal's sap. Tossing the confetti bits out of the window, I pressed my face against the glass, stung with the consequence of my helplessness.
- - -
I never wanted to admit it, but he was good.
He was.
A good boyfriend, I mean.
And I hated it.
A lot.
I didn't.
I didn't hate it.
He made Jaejoong happy.
So I didn't hate how good he was.
But I did.
It's a very complicated affair.
I don't know whether I hated it.
I must hate him though.
I don't.
- - -
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