the leaving song

[jaeda1987]

I fell asleep in his arms last night. Wow that sound like he spent the night...lemme rephrase that: I was at his house watching Thumbalina before his hockey game, and we were all cuddled together and I fell asleep in his arms. I was sorta faking it for a while cause I was too content to talk but all he did was watch me sleep, he was brushing my hair back, kissing my forehead and telling me every so often how much he loves me. The way that he said it made me want to cry, it had so much feeling to it. He did it almost the entire time I was asleep. We went to his hockey game and he sat there cause he was a fill in and he wasn't needed. The other team, port huron, only had 9 guys...they got their asses haded to em. 10 to nothin. After a while it got boring, people stopped cheering and yelling at the team to just let port huron score once or twice. He took me back home, we stopped at the front like we usually do to talk and hug and kiss and just be together with the music on. his dad called and ruined it. I didn't want him to go but his dad said he sounded mad so he had to get home. Probably cause he didn't pack or anything. I don't get to see him till Monday or Tuesday. I want to see him Monday but dono if I'm going to be feeling like shit after that damn sergury. They're going to fill me up with air like a fucking balloon, cut me open twice, put two or three sticks in me (a light, something to push the inside female parts up and something to move the inside parts around), I get to be knocked out!!!!! sleepy time for me!!! am I worried? nope, am I nervous? a little, I know I will be Monday before I go, and when I get nervous, like really nervous (or really happy or really angry) I cry. I don't feel like crying cause it's just two stupid cuts and fucking sticks! but there are so many things that could go wrong. I could die, I could react negativly to the anestisia when I wake up, I know it's an in and out thing but I could be there for a bit.
I know that if Jason dosn't see me Monday and if I can fake that I feel like shit, or I might not feel good Tuesday and I'm not in school then he'll think something bad happened. And in a way I want him to worry for me....I'm a sick girlfriend I know.
But I want to see him Monday cause I won't get to see him the whole damn week! I mean like today, tomorrow, Friday, saturday and sunday. He's out hunting with his Grampa...who's 80 so this might be his last time out. Anyway...I have to take a midterm exam tomorrow cause Iwon't fucking be there on Monday....SHIT!!!!!!!!! so I should go do the notes thing. We're allowed one page of noted front and back. I'm so thankfull that I can read size 3 font ^_^