Changing As Always...
As I was sitting online at around the time I always do (8-10pm) I relized I come on and do the exact same thing. Say things to the exact same people...Listen to the Exact same music. So I Switched it all Up and decided to Utilize my pointless Live Journal which has been so vacant as of late due to the steadiness of Blank Pages in my everyday life.
Figured It Would be an oppurtunity to just eat away at myself by trying to drowned myself in the horrible thoughts that go on in any normal 17 yr old , intellectual , politic-thriving , quick-tounged young man as myself , would think about. Than I relized during half way through the last sentence I just typed that Its still pointless for me to be typing. But. I figure...since something relatively interesting did happen in my life today besides the normal wake up , eat , sleep in class , nod at people i barely know , stroll walk home and listen to music before turning on the computer at 8 o clock...i figure i would enlighten you.
Today was like any other day in the Life of me. Mind You it was one of the worst days... 1st period. I noticed that in everyone of my classes....I have D's or F's. Now. Telling from the two paragraphs I have previously written would you believe such a thing? I have a lack on interest , will , and motive to work. A rebel against the system if you will. I Want to fuck up...and make better when my liking is apparent. That started off the day bad...I was than greeted at my 1st period by a tall light skin girl with a shed a redness to her cheeks. This had been a suprise really because in the past couple of weeks I had suddenly turned into air. Yes a wonderful trick I had learned to do on weekends by pissing certain people off by not saying the right things at right moments....Which generally I have a nack for doing with great accuracy. So It had me in a whirl to see the girl in the presence of doorway as I walked out. Thats Not when It got bad...
3rd Per rolls around. The previous day I was giving $20...which had been broken on a count of food. Which left me with $11...I never have money in school so it was actually good to have money in pocket. But to my despair of course...My Gym Locker is left open...and the ------- only left the dollar. It was one thing to have naturally taken the money and been off...But to JUST LEAVE THE FUCKIN $1 was just plain disrespectful. Theres not one god damn thing you can buy with 1 fuckin dollar!...
On Top of this...In 4th Period. The same girl who had shown up ''at my door step'' decides to get hostile. She takes the one thing guys should never let get into ANY girls hands. Of course. The Cell Phone. The cell phone will always...AND I MEAN ALWAYS...start a fight. I honestly think I girl came up with the idea of a cell phone to trap guys into thinking it was benefitional in any way...Well I prove point when she went through and had seen a volgur message sent from my ex of 4 years. Now the tall white girl has been known to having a liking for me (sorry to be blunt...and not my modest self)..Which didnt sit right with her. So in an effort to vent...(''my opinion'') she throws camotion , lets her friend see my phone , read MY OWN MESSAGE.., which my i remind you she had not been entitled to see in the first place , and than has the nerve to try and get an attitude with me for any at all reason.
TOday I had felt bad. Probably the worst I had felt since the day before when I had been whipeing tears cause of another short half spanish half french girl...Today I had felt bad...because I had raised my voice to one of my best friends. Whether or not she was doing her best to be the best friend she could be...I wasn't. I do feel guilty for getting in such a ugly manner. Its really not my style. I feel i had a good reason...but still shouldn't have. Its not my character...Its not what I want to portray myself as..So in that sense...I am truly Sorry.
Am I Sorry for what I Said...Hell No. I know what I Said. And I mean every bit of it. I wouldn't SAY something I Don't Mean. If I mean It I Sed it...I never sugar-coat. Im the bluntest motherfuker you'll ever meet. You'll either love or hate me for it. -
Figured It Would be an oppurtunity to just eat away at myself by trying to drowned myself in the horrible thoughts that go on in any normal 17 yr old , intellectual , politic-thriving , quick-tounged young man as myself , would think about. Than I relized during half way through the last sentence I just typed that Its still pointless for me to be typing. But. I figure...since something relatively interesting did happen in my life today besides the normal wake up , eat , sleep in class , nod at people i barely know , stroll walk home and listen to music before turning on the computer at 8 o clock...i figure i would enlighten you.
Today was like any other day in the Life of me. Mind You it was one of the worst days... 1st period. I noticed that in everyone of my classes....I have D's or F's. Now. Telling from the two paragraphs I have previously written would you believe such a thing? I have a lack on interest , will , and motive to work. A rebel against the system if you will. I Want to fuck up...and make better when my liking is apparent. That started off the day bad...I was than greeted at my 1st period by a tall light skin girl with a shed a redness to her cheeks. This had been a suprise really because in the past couple of weeks I had suddenly turned into air. Yes a wonderful trick I had learned to do on weekends by pissing certain people off by not saying the right things at right moments....Which generally I have a nack for doing with great accuracy. So It had me in a whirl to see the girl in the presence of doorway as I walked out. Thats Not when It got bad...
3rd Per rolls around. The previous day I was giving $20...which had been broken on a count of food. Which left me with $11...I never have money in school so it was actually good to have money in pocket. But to my despair of course...My Gym Locker is left open...and the ------- only left the dollar. It was one thing to have naturally taken the money and been off...But to JUST LEAVE THE FUCKIN $1 was just plain disrespectful. Theres not one god damn thing you can buy with 1 fuckin dollar!...
On Top of this...In 4th Period. The same girl who had shown up ''at my door step'' decides to get hostile. She takes the one thing guys should never let get into ANY girls hands. Of course. The Cell Phone. The cell phone will always...AND I MEAN ALWAYS...start a fight. I honestly think I girl came up with the idea of a cell phone to trap guys into thinking it was benefitional in any way...Well I prove point when she went through and had seen a volgur message sent from my ex of 4 years. Now the tall white girl has been known to having a liking for me (sorry to be blunt...and not my modest self)..Which didnt sit right with her. So in an effort to vent...(''my opinion'') she throws camotion , lets her friend see my phone , read MY OWN MESSAGE.., which my i remind you she had not been entitled to see in the first place , and than has the nerve to try and get an attitude with me for any at all reason.
TOday I had felt bad. Probably the worst I had felt since the day before when I had been whipeing tears cause of another short half spanish half french girl...Today I had felt bad...because I had raised my voice to one of my best friends. Whether or not she was doing her best to be the best friend she could be...I wasn't. I do feel guilty for getting in such a ugly manner. Its really not my style. I feel i had a good reason...but still shouldn't have. Its not my character...Its not what I want to portray myself as..So in that sense...I am truly Sorry.
Am I Sorry for what I Said...Hell No. I know what I Said. And I mean every bit of it. I wouldn't SAY something I Don't Mean. If I mean It I Sed it...I never sugar-coat. Im the bluntest motherfuker you'll ever meet. You'll either love or hate me for it. -