Frustration & Irritation

[jae_bear]

I dont even know where to begin with this right now. I am so beyond frustrated with everything right now. Maybe more so in myself than anything else. I dont know. I try to always trust my gut when it tells me that something is wrong, but sometimes I cant help but stray. and probably sure enough in the long run, it will come back to haunt me. i so easily want to give up on people in my life right now. like, are they really worth my effort? i feel like i put a lot more in to my relationships than i get in return. i dont trust people anymore. being hurt time after time and mislead and mind-fucked beyond belief has lead me to be that way. though deep down i want to trust and believe that most people do have some good in them, im finding it hard to believe. in my eyes everybody is out to ge tme, everybody is out to hurt me. i live defensivly, always thinking that people have ulterior motives. waiting patiently to catch me off guard and come at me with their agenda that they kept hidden for who knows how long.

this is s useless rant. when i wake up tomorrow i probably wont feel the same. its a senseless rambling.