Power of Rude, The
Lately I keep seeing tons of posts calling for civility and how there is never a reason not to be polite.
I am a non violent person, except in extreme circumstances. I believe in love and charity.
But I also believe in the power of rude.
The world has changed. Yes, it used to be a place where honey caught more flies than vinegar, but who the fuck wants to catch flies? I live in a city with more sociopaths and psychopaths per capita than just about anywhere else. (Source: 1)
A manipulator uses the social contract, the desire to be seen as “nice” against you. Fuck being “nice”. I had someone literally call me “selfish” and “Satan” for NOT BUYING THEM A PACK OF CIGARETTES with my own money. (Like, really, she went from zero to Prince of Darkness in under twenty minutes and it was so ludicrous I am still laughing about this months later.) I ended up saying something like “Out out demon! Better cast me out yo house” and I strolled out the door laughing.
I had someone tell me because I am femme, it was rude to “dance suggestively” and “not [do something sexual]” because it turned them on and somehow I was obligated to fix this for them. My behavior was “rude” and “teasing” and I did it “on purpose” or some bullshit.
Fuck that. I like to dance. Your dick is not my problem.
I get a lot of catcalls. I respond rudely quite often. Because sometimes if I dont, guys will follow me, and sometimes they can get dangerous. The way for me to be safest is for me to be rude AF to everyone. Over time, I have learned the best responses are:
If you tell me to smile, I am going to say “Im neither your slave nor your dog, dont tell me what to fucking do!”
If they ask to be friends, I say “sure! Can you loan me $20 until payday?” And when they stutter and haw i say “dont friends loan each other money? My friends would.” And hold my hand out.
In some neighborhoods, a wusup is polite to a wusup.
In other neighborhoods, it isnt polite to talk to ppl you dont know, and the best response is to not respond. If you arent sure, and someone says “hey” just look briefly at them, nod, and keep walking. This is a mediocre response (just enough to not be seen as stuck up in a ”wusup” neighborhood, bc the eye contact means you acknowledged them, but in a neighborhood where a creeper should not have said anything, you have already dismissed him before he could latch.)
If the person turns to try and get your attn, you need a quick assessment, IS HE HIGH? Not drunk, HIGH. Weed is decrim here, and stoners wanna chat ramble with everyone. If his eyes are bloodshot, he has a permagrin, or smells like skunk, he’s just high. (I say he but they could also be a she, etc.) Make sure you have a little body space and well, it’s up to you how you wanna handle this.
Treat other drugs and sober people with rudeness. Note that if they seem hyper, for any reason, you may want to call for help if it is available. LOOK AT THE HANDS AND THE EYES.
DILATED PUPILS, PANTING, RAPID BLINKING EYES, OR ANY WEIRD RAPID HAND MOVEMENTS (especially fast clenching and unclenching) ARE SIGNS YOU MAY BE IN DANGER, AND IT DOESNT MATTER IF THE PERSON IS HIGH OR PSYCHOTIC, the end result is they maybe are gearing up to do some mayhem. (Yeah, adhd and autism can also do this, heck, I do this, but without professional training I cant teach you to tell the difference in an online post. My apologizes to fellow neurodivergent people out there.) Those last two are important, if they are breathing heavy and clenching/unclenching fists, they either just had a fight-like situation or are about to start one. And they will usually TELL YOU if they just came from some drama, like people do. So if you see someone doing this, and they were not just coming from some horrible situation, and say they are fine etc., YOU or someone NEAR you are about to BE the situation.
Always pick rude if it means your safety.
ALWAYS PICK RUDE IF IT MEANS YOUR SAFETY.
ALWAYS PICK RUDE IF IT MEANS YOUR SAFETY.
I happily tell people “none of your business” and all “that is an inappropriate question.“ I have to say this a lot to Uber/Lyft drivers trying to make conversation. 99% of them are harmless when they say things like “are you going home?” The worst is “do you live alone?” I will tell them, “you should never ask that question to a female traveling in your car. That is improper.” And they really don’t have a clue. Now most people will just lie, but if we don’t teach men these things, how will they know? Because I say it, and I am blunt, some future female rider hopefully doesn’t have to squirm while lying to her driver.
I EMBRACE MY RUDENESS. IT HAS SAVED ME FROM BEING ROOFIED AT LEAST ONE TIME THAT I KNOW ABOUT. I found out later on that someone else (who refused to listen to me when I said something was wrong, I tried to get them to leave with me but they wouldn't) ended up being ambulanced to the hospital and had to be admitted. The "roofie" was carfentanyl. They had a seizure. Oh, and they still got robbed. Had I been roofied I probably would have been roofied AND raped that day, if it didn't kill me. Carfentanyl is synthetic diafentanyl, which is basically fentanyl times ten, but it is also more likely to cause seizures than diafentanyl. And I get non-epileptic seizures already. So for anyone who says there is never a reason to be rude, fuck you. Fuck you very much.
Namaste.
#embracetherude #rudebitch
Source 1: https://townhall.com/tipsheet/timothymeads/2018/06/17/not-a-surprise-dc-has-more-psychopaths-per-capita-than-anywhere-else-in-the-united-states-n2491666