(no subject)
so i guess it's been a while since i've updated, altho i consistently read my friends pg. maybe right now isnt the best time to write cuz i don't feel so great and today sucked in a lot of ways. I just have to keep working through each day, doing what i can. it's not enough tho; i do it all wrong. i guess on the bright side this month has gone by pretty quickly, like it didnt seem like it then, but yesterday i realized my birthday's next week, and it shocked the hell out of me. I hardly even care much any more tho, damn, i'll still have to go to school and everything. i guess i can hope that i'll feel better by then. June 11 is getting closer and closer. it will be such a good day. even tho it's sad as hell, i feel like typing what i wrote in chemistry today.
Some days I just hate everything. Today is one of those days. Too much shit going on. Too many poeple I can't stand for one reason or another. I look like I could kill someone, or cry, or go insane, or curl up in a ball and die. Some times I think I may as well. But then there's those times when everything is good. I can't even laugh when I'm supposed to. I'm so fucking depressing. It's all dependent on my attitude. I have choice in it; I just get in a bad mood and don't change it. Everything just sucks and I feel like shit. It's not even just being tired, it's a combination of getting frustrated/annoyed with life. With stupid, time-wasting assignments, with stupid, time-wasting people, with stupid, time-wasting me.
and i'm sure i coulda kept go'n if i werent taking notes and tasting various sour powders. i won't bore u, or myself for that matter, w/ specifics, but i've got my reasons. most of them are probly considered irrational or unimportant or w/e, but they're still there for me. you know it's fucking terrible, how much i can bitch about life and hate everything, when i've got it so damn good. i focus on all these little things that drive me nuts, when if i could just focus on the big picture for a little while, everything would be alright. in some ways, life is super right now. but in some ways, it sucks like no other. mk thats more than enuf bitching for one entry.