Jade's 3rd Annual Birthday Review!
I know it's a little late but I bring you my favorite entry of the year, my annual birthday review. Here we go:
"I LEARNED THE TRUTH AT 17"
My annual review is a little later than usual, but I had been searching for a theme, something that basically summarizes my year. Last year, I chose various song lyrics to describe events in my life, but they were all random. After a lot of thought, I've finally reached a theme, one that has stayed constant throughout the year. This year has been the year of the 180. Everything important to me did a 180 and I've seen both sides of everything and that theme is best exemplified by the song "Erase/Rewind" by The Cardigans.
This has always been a song I overlooked. I listened to it on occasion, but not one of my favorites (even though it's in my range and easy to sing). However, certain lyrics are entirely relevant. Especially the chorus:
"I've changed my mind
I take it back
Erase and rewind
Cause I've been changing my mind
I've changed my mind"
Now it's not a matter of me changing my mind, but everything around me changing. Erase what I know and rewind it back to something different. Looking at it now, it can be best explained as a return to situations I either missed or abhorred.
There are only three areas of my life I'm concerned with: friends, drama, and work/school, so I apologize if you feel like it's all been said before. I'd like to end on a positive note, so I'll do what I can to accomplish that.
After I turned 17, everything was grand. I had a great birthday thanks to my friends (Mia!) and despite a very painful disconnect from Jon, I still had a great time. I felt loved and knew that I had many avenues for support. The start of senior year was especially good to me, I had that support in addition to a rekindled friendship with Jon as wel as a buttload of new friends (Martine, Caitlin, Zach, all of the newbies you know who you are). I was on top of the world.
ERASE/REWIND
It was a gradual change, but eventually I ended up back in that spot where I'd been many times before, where I'd felt disconnected and unloved. A new group had been formed and I wasn't a part of that (and I also felt like I'd lost any right to make a Last 5 Years reference. Sad.) We all know what happened last time I mentioned my unhappiness, I was accused of sabatoging the trio. That accusation hurt more than being ignored honestly, to think that I'm that selfish and that big of a bitch that I would do that. I was so caught up in what I was missing out on that I neglected everyone else. I'm sorry for that. Through this I realized that I'm not as strong as I thought and it was hard because I felt like I'd lost all of my support (which looking back on it I didn't lose any support, I just didn't look in the right place.) But whatever, I learned to adapt and accept what is given to me. Things change and since then things have gotten better. I've gotten closer to different people and have actually reached an ok position with the various trio members. I'm not ok, but I will be. So there's my complete 180 and it ended my year of 17 on a less than perfect note, but fortunately I can say that my year of 18 is starting off in the opposite (and better) direction. ***This was not meant to piss anyone off, contrary to popular belief***
School and work. School started off with a horrendous case of senioritis and with the exception of DC, it scked. Teachers were great but actual school was awful. Work, it was fun and I enjoyed going and being in that environment. It started wearing on me though. I hate doing kiosk and sometimes, I wish I didn't have to put on makeup or heels or sell raffle.
ERASE/REWIND
On the flip side, I'm REALLY good at selling raffle and I'm very comfortable at work. Rocky has injected a new life into me, as tiring as it is, it is essentially a fun process. School wasn't so bad. I remember senior retreat and how wonderful it felt giving a witness talk about Rose. Mr. Hansen and Mr. Ryan kept me going. Do I remember any of the material? No. But I do remember the laughter and fabulous conversations as well as the mutual respect we had for each other. I like myself better because of them.
Drama started off pretty bad what with being shafted at last year's banquet again and not having a third show at Fort Hayes. Then of course there's the conflict between the two schools and how I could only do one show at Fort Hayes. But the best part was when Judith cut me from my final show. I remember that moment and the conversation we had in the hallway. It felt like someone in the heavens threw up bricks all over me, an awful feeling. I wanted to give up on acting, if I can't even get into a show at Bishop fucking Hartley.
ERASE/REWIND
But who cares? Everything else relating to drama was amazing! I got the two parts I wanted in the Hartley shows I did get cast in (who else can say that they played a dream role like Abigail Williams?), I got the lead in one of the funniest shows ever. I've gained the respect of my peers in a way that I cannot even begin to describe. I've won Best Actress two years in a row at Fort Hayes, I've won Most Outstanding Student for Fort Hayes and Best Thespian at Hartley. These are two very highly regarded awards. I got into one of the most prestigious college acting programs in the country. I got a commercial opportunity. There's just so much that went right this year that I can't be upset. I am very confident that drama is what I'll be doing and for the first time, I am so proud of what I've accomplished.
These aspects have most influenced my year of 17. Everything else was just a day to day thing, but I did take many trips to my favorite place, New York, I saw Les Miz on Broadway, I went to Chicago, I've gone on auditions and picnics. I've visited my best friend at college a couple of times, had an enjoyable Christmas for the first time in a long time, strengthened my bond with my family, gained weight, lost weight, and had quite a few laughs. For the most part, this year was good and what was bad taught me how to cope. Once again, thank you to everyone who has affected me this year and here's to an even sweeter one as an 18 year old.
"I LEARNED THE TRUTH AT 17"
My annual review is a little later than usual, but I had been searching for a theme, something that basically summarizes my year. Last year, I chose various song lyrics to describe events in my life, but they were all random. After a lot of thought, I've finally reached a theme, one that has stayed constant throughout the year. This year has been the year of the 180. Everything important to me did a 180 and I've seen both sides of everything and that theme is best exemplified by the song "Erase/Rewind" by The Cardigans.
This has always been a song I overlooked. I listened to it on occasion, but not one of my favorites (even though it's in my range and easy to sing). However, certain lyrics are entirely relevant. Especially the chorus:
"I've changed my mind
I take it back
Erase and rewind
Cause I've been changing my mind
I've changed my mind"
Now it's not a matter of me changing my mind, but everything around me changing. Erase what I know and rewind it back to something different. Looking at it now, it can be best explained as a return to situations I either missed or abhorred.
There are only three areas of my life I'm concerned with: friends, drama, and work/school, so I apologize if you feel like it's all been said before. I'd like to end on a positive note, so I'll do what I can to accomplish that.
After I turned 17, everything was grand. I had a great birthday thanks to my friends (Mia!) and despite a very painful disconnect from Jon, I still had a great time. I felt loved and knew that I had many avenues for support. The start of senior year was especially good to me, I had that support in addition to a rekindled friendship with Jon as wel as a buttload of new friends (Martine, Caitlin, Zach, all of the newbies you know who you are). I was on top of the world.
ERASE/REWIND
It was a gradual change, but eventually I ended up back in that spot where I'd been many times before, where I'd felt disconnected and unloved. A new group had been formed and I wasn't a part of that (and I also felt like I'd lost any right to make a Last 5 Years reference. Sad.) We all know what happened last time I mentioned my unhappiness, I was accused of sabatoging the trio. That accusation hurt more than being ignored honestly, to think that I'm that selfish and that big of a bitch that I would do that. I was so caught up in what I was missing out on that I neglected everyone else. I'm sorry for that. Through this I realized that I'm not as strong as I thought and it was hard because I felt like I'd lost all of my support (which looking back on it I didn't lose any support, I just didn't look in the right place.) But whatever, I learned to adapt and accept what is given to me. Things change and since then things have gotten better. I've gotten closer to different people and have actually reached an ok position with the various trio members. I'm not ok, but I will be. So there's my complete 180 and it ended my year of 17 on a less than perfect note, but fortunately I can say that my year of 18 is starting off in the opposite (and better) direction. ***This was not meant to piss anyone off, contrary to popular belief***
School and work. School started off with a horrendous case of senioritis and with the exception of DC, it scked. Teachers were great but actual school was awful. Work, it was fun and I enjoyed going and being in that environment. It started wearing on me though. I hate doing kiosk and sometimes, I wish I didn't have to put on makeup or heels or sell raffle.
ERASE/REWIND
On the flip side, I'm REALLY good at selling raffle and I'm very comfortable at work. Rocky has injected a new life into me, as tiring as it is, it is essentially a fun process. School wasn't so bad. I remember senior retreat and how wonderful it felt giving a witness talk about Rose. Mr. Hansen and Mr. Ryan kept me going. Do I remember any of the material? No. But I do remember the laughter and fabulous conversations as well as the mutual respect we had for each other. I like myself better because of them.
Drama started off pretty bad what with being shafted at last year's banquet again and not having a third show at Fort Hayes. Then of course there's the conflict between the two schools and how I could only do one show at Fort Hayes. But the best part was when Judith cut me from my final show. I remember that moment and the conversation we had in the hallway. It felt like someone in the heavens threw up bricks all over me, an awful feeling. I wanted to give up on acting, if I can't even get into a show at Bishop fucking Hartley.
ERASE/REWIND
But who cares? Everything else relating to drama was amazing! I got the two parts I wanted in the Hartley shows I did get cast in (who else can say that they played a dream role like Abigail Williams?), I got the lead in one of the funniest shows ever. I've gained the respect of my peers in a way that I cannot even begin to describe. I've won Best Actress two years in a row at Fort Hayes, I've won Most Outstanding Student for Fort Hayes and Best Thespian at Hartley. These are two very highly regarded awards. I got into one of the most prestigious college acting programs in the country. I got a commercial opportunity. There's just so much that went right this year that I can't be upset. I am very confident that drama is what I'll be doing and for the first time, I am so proud of what I've accomplished.
These aspects have most influenced my year of 17. Everything else was just a day to day thing, but I did take many trips to my favorite place, New York, I saw Les Miz on Broadway, I went to Chicago, I've gone on auditions and picnics. I've visited my best friend at college a couple of times, had an enjoyable Christmas for the first time in a long time, strengthened my bond with my family, gained weight, lost weight, and had quite a few laughs. For the most part, this year was good and what was bad taught me how to cope. Once again, thank you to everyone who has affected me this year and here's to an even sweeter one as an 18 year old.