The longest commentary in existence...in ANY timeline...
Right okay.
This is basically just a STRAIGHT THROUGH THE MOVIE review. A commentary. I’ve watched it, like, FOUR times thus far and I figured the review warranted a study. It’s broken up by scenes, if you will, so it’ll be easier to follow. And it took me about 3 hours to do this cuz I kept pausing. :P
And I’m rather saddened to say that even after four viewings, my original opinions haven’t changed much.
Credits:
• My my. How the credits looks like another episode. *rollseyes*
• Okay, am I the only one annoyed by how off-kilter the names are??? They’re not even centered and the font is WAY too small.
• One MUST love that Walter finally got his parking spot. :D
• ACK! It’s Major Davis!!!!! *loves on him* (And THAT’S the LAST we see of him. AND Walter. How lame are the cameos in this.)
• Cue the music and there’s our SG1. I always did love the desert camos on Ben. And is it just me or does Shanks look annoyed?
• Vala + BIG GUN = LURVE. And somehow I doubt Crichton could’ve pried that gun away from Aeryn’s hands. :P
• .........I really don’t like the way Sam said “It is pretty incredible.” Weirdly out of character.
• Cue the cheesy violin music and zoom in and Meg’s benefit of the doubt went bye-bye and she rolled her eyes...AGAIN.
• Cue the kawhoosh and Landry’s head being vaporized. Oh. Wait. Nope, that was only my wishful thinking.
• “Godspeed” is better than “Go to it.”
• The Tok’ra homeworld looks like Atlantis. O_o
• And suddenly Meg wants all the chanters to bang their heads on a piece of wood. :D
Tok’ra Homeworld and the Achilles:
• I will admit, crooning the crimes was inventive.
• Okay, we ARE in Atlantis. Since when did the Tok’ra have a freezing chamber? O_o
• Hello, muscles. *licks*
• You’d think after TEN FREAKING YEARS, they would’ve found ONE pronunciation for “Goa’uld” and STUCK with it.
• “How’s tricks, B?” The first and LAST great O’Neill line.
• At least they mentioned cake.
• WHY must they monologue?!?!? You really want SG1 to suffer then DON’T TELL them your freaking plan!
• Okay, why does RDA sound like a chipmunk?!?!?! Even Russ wondered what the hell was up with the voice.
• Ben Browder’s so good with the makeup. Takes me back to Farscape.
• Right. Since Danny-Boy’s so concerned, let me bring this up. I remember the days when if one of the team just disappeared, at least one of the others WOULD’VE GONE TO LOOK FOR THEM.
• Ummmmmm, maybe I’m just not that versed in injuries and whatnot, but how could that stab have killed O’Neill so quickly? It was extremely fake for me. Stab him through the neck and I might believe it. (Why not? They spared no expense with bloodiness in this.)
• Cam’s grandfather getting injured and him faltering was a nice touch.
• Wide shot of staff blast firing was nice too.
• Would Ba’al have been the last to go through the gate? I doubt it.
• Hm. You’d think Cam’s grandfather would’ve stared at the min-Death star wondering what the hell it was rather than just chunking it. *stares*
• I hate hate HATE it when one of the character’s feels the need to tell another character to hurry up by saying their name. I HATE it. It’s so stupid and if you WANT them to speed up, leave them the hell alone.
Through the Gate:
• The purple wormhole was nice-looking.
• “The Stargate is in a box.” STILL makes me snicker. I love the wimpy way he said that. :D
• Okay, lots of things in a few seconds.
1) Why does Cam keep calling Sam “Carter?” He usually says “Sam.”
2) Am I the only who gets annoyed with how they ALWAYS turn to Sam for answers? Can’t she be lost for ONCE? Geez. Think for yourselves, people.
3) Shippy goodness.
4) Nice to see her being emotional.
• I love how everyone else always looks around for the answers, but what does Daniel do? Looks in a box. :D
• Huh. I didn’t know Celsius and Fahrenheit were the same at that temp either.
• Ummmmmmm, why did they cover their ears for a gun firing but not for the C4 blowing? O_o
• *snorts* I love Danny’s sarcasm.
• Oh Lord. I knew they were gonna have Daniel’s leg removed for some reason, but for THAT reason? I got the shivers. :(
• How the hell did they climb up that hole?
• Forget the ship. I LOVE the aurora.
• Um. I’m having serious issues with Sam exclaiming Daniel’s name about his injury. I dunno. It bugs me.
• Daniel gets more and more bitter as this series goes on. Kinda makes me squeamish. And love him more.
• And if the temp is BELOW -40 IN the ship and colder outside, wouldn’t Sam’s tears have frozen instantly?
• But Daniel’s eyes filling with tears and that scared expression and the “Oh shit?” FANTASTIC. It may be wrong of me, but I love it when they include curse words that they can’t include on TV.
• Okay, I know that it was a huge deal for them to film in the Arctic, but the long shots of nothing but white got on my nerves. It was completely out of context for me.
• GOD. I love submarines.
On The Sub and Pre-Separation:
• Okay, you KNOW those guys on the sub are Navy. LOVE it. Fly Navy, fly.
• “Always happy to help the Air Force.” *SNICKER*
• Repeating the order? LOVE it even more. :D :D :D
• I LOVE submarines.
• Wow. How nonchalant, Daniel. Even if you ARE high as a kite. I actually liked that acting choice.
• THIS is the O’Neill I love.
• *SNORTS* THAT’S a great face, Danny-boy.
• “Closest thing you have to a best friend.” And the J/D slashers go BONKERS.
• Oh wooooooooooow. Charlie’s alive. THAT chilled me to the BONE.
• I love how rude and harsh O’Neill is in that scene.
• Okay, I LOVE the interrogation scenes. THAT was awesome. Proof that maybe TPTB actually DO have creative license. And them getting more and more angry? Awesome.
• Ummmmmm, her name’s not CaroLINE. It’s CaroLYN. *rollseyes*
• Alrighty then. We’re in Alaska now. Good to know.
• Landry’s a jerk in EVERY timeline. And seriously, dude, stop making love to your coffee cups.
• The Navy’s in charge of the program. God, it’s like the movie was made with nods for Meg. :D
• Okay, I don’t like Landry. I never have. But seriously? His rant? I agree with him 100 freaking percent. Their arrogance? Absolutely. I’m glad they finally wrote in that maybe, just MAYBE, THEIR timeline and THEIR reality isn’t, in fact, the RIGHT one. That created some new respect for TPTB. It really did. (A very small respect, mind you.) Even though it turned out to be the wrong one in the end, Landry’s rant really impressed me.
• LORD. The COPIOUS amounts of fanfic tags for right before they separated is MIND BLOWING.
The Separation:
• Yikes. She can’t go into any field she knows. THAT’S harsh.
• Does anyone know who Daniel’s taxi driver is? He looks REALLY familiar.
• BAD continuity. In the cab, the flag is blowing in the breeze. Outside, it suddenly stops. *cringes*
• *blinks* Since when do taxis have collision hubcaps? *scratches head*
• No seriously. What was the point of the chick and the kid?
• Why the hell is the bookstore that DARK? Like anyone could READ anything in there.
• LOL!!! What a picture. :D
• Wooooow. The goofs on IMDB were right. The paragraphs on the back of the book? They ARE the same paragraph with only the first sentence being different.
• HA!!! Hilariously enough, I’m munching on some dry Fruit Loops. :D
• Oh my hormones. Yeah. Stace? Nate and the Charger? Meet Ben and the Mustang. *DROOOOOOOOOOOOLS*
• I have ALWAYS loved that house.
• And of course he would call himself. Was there ever any doubt? And wow. What a conversation. “You have to have more faith in yourself.” AWESOME.
• YES!!!!!!!!!!!! ALKESH!!!!!!!!!!!
• *snorts* No way would Daniel have a TV. :D And btw, is it night where he is? And if so, WHY is it night when it’s daylight where Cam and Sam are?
The Oncoming:
• Oh my. I think Meg’s SFX hormones just had multiple orgasms.
• Okay, if THAT’s Earth, *points* *points again* then what’s the red swirly thing in the back? O_o
• *SCREAMS* It’s Apophis!!!!!! AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHGH!!!!!!
• ......why does Apophis sound like a whiny boy?
• Glowy eyes. Nostalgia.
• *stares* Great comeback, Ba’al. WOOT. *rollseyes*
• Wow. They spared no expense with the cameos, did they?
• “Here is God standing here with wet hands.” Oy. LOVE it.
• I REALLY don’t like the way Qetesh sounds. She speaks to slowly to have Vala as a host.
• YES. Henry Hayes. Yay!
• I swear, I’m trying not to cry right now. Godspeed, George. We miss you.
• Am I the only one who thinks it would’ve been SO TOTALLY cool to have Hammond be President in this timeline? :D Not feasible, but still fun to think about. :D
• *snorts* Oh the Daniel sarcasm.
• Okay, if this timeline is different, what happens if they go get that certain someone with the Ancient gene (who-know-who), go to Taonas, get the ZPM, go BACK to Antarctica, get to the Outpost and holy mother, he actually DOESN’T have the gene in this timeline? *stares* This is why fans are the smartest people alive.
• Oooo! Lotsa Ha'taks exiting hyperspace! Nummy!
• DAMN. SERIOUSLY spared no expense with the cameos. :D Hiya, Camulus.
• Maybe I’m being blonde, but I really don’t get why Ba’al is acting all merciful.
• Just noticed Teal’c’s new tattoo. I like it better than Apophis’s.
• A satellite phone? Oh, that……is…….just………the STUPIDEST thing I’ve ever seen.
• “He hung up on me.” BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Betrayal and So Forth:
• Is it just me or does Qetesh look really really really tired? Like, bags under the eyes tired?
• GOD, I love the shot of all those Ha’taks in front of Earth.
• Funny how casually Hayes talks to the President of Russia. :D
• Wow. How cheesy was that walk, Qetesh.
• Oy. F-16s make me melt.
• Where the hell is Praxion? Have we heard of this before?
• GOD. F-16s. *flails*
• Okay, Meg’s gonna bitch/love for a while:
1) THIS was the scene I wanted to see most of all. Ever since I heard about an air battle with F-16s and Gliders and (*guhs*) Migs, I was looking forward to THIS most of all.
2) The countless sacrifice of the other pilots telling them to go on and that they’ll engage? Made me proud.
3) Will not deny. The VFX of this scene were REALLY well done.
4) Thank God for the military jargon. I’m glad she called it “the deck.”
5) Migs. &hearts &hearts &hearts *shivers* &hearts &hearts &hearts (Yeah, Meg has a thing for fighter jets. :D)
6) Daniel’s message? KICK ASS.
7) Now, HERE’S where Meg gets mad. That’s it? That’s IT?!?!?!? That wasn’t a fight scene with all three of those planes!!!! The Migs were the cavalry and their escape route! Oh come on!!!!!! Just…..*SNARLS* Words CANNOT describe how disappointed I was with this. Fucking bastards.
• Well, they certainly got out of the planes and into a truck and to the Stargate fast, didn’t they? *stares*
• Ha! Grownups. :D And Danny and the kid’s insults. AWESOME.
• At least they thought of the shield.
• Wow. Danny must’ve gotten good at walking on that prosthetic since he picked up the book, huh? *rollseyes*
• “Right guys?”
“Sure, why not?”
“I’m not busy.”
“Let’s do it.”
*big grin*
• Ummm, where’d the Russian kid go?
• Now, here’s an issue. THAT little dinky device emits all the power they need for the Stargate? (*stares* yeah RIGHT) And why did Teal’c only press 3 buttons?
• And another. We SEE the shield fail. And we HEAR another firing shot. Why didn’t the base blow up before the kill shot? (No. I DON’T think too much, thanks. >:( )
Praxion Battle:
• I think this whole time machine location would’ve been more effective if say, it had been located on a Ba’al base we’d seen before.
• Cool holographs.
• Technobabble, technobabble. SHADDUP.
• Order from Martin Wood: “Make the rings teleport take longer so Sam can finish her technobabble.” (Sorry. I find it annoying after awhile.)
• I DO like the wave after wave of Jaffa.
• Okay, even *I* will admit I gasped when Daniel got shot. Didn’t see that coming for some SG1-is-omniscent reason. :P
• And Qetesh beams down right on cue. How convenient.
• “I die free.” Beautiful. Wait! Why wasn’t Bra’tac in this at ALL?!?!?!?
Aftermath:
• The captain has grey hair. HOW could you confuse them? Stupid.
• How did Cam get on the boat without anyone noticing? Don’t they have security? Was he IN Egypt when they moved it? Did he just never marry or spawn the Earth so the timeline would be correct? HOLES. Pisses me off.
Back on Toklantis:
• Wait, I’m confused. Why are they extracting the Goa’uld from the head?
• Wait, I’m STILL confused. Were the clones made before Ba’al went back to 1939? If so, it makes sense that SG1’s at the extraction ceremony for the last clone, but......HUH?!?!?!
• I agree with Cam. That was dull.
• RDA still sounds like a chipmunk.
• I like that Vala wanted to stay and help the host.
Right. All in all? After four viewings?
I thought it sucked.
No seriously. I didn’t like it. It was a glorified episode. Sure, some may argue that that’s all it COULD be, but no actually, it could’ve been more. Ark of Truth was EPIC. And it had a point. It finished up a storyline. This is something that has ALWAYS bugged me about TPTB of the Stargate universe. (And Russ and I argued this for HOURS after we watched it the first time.) They just DON’T know how to end a story. God, Star Trek TNG ended. (Once Data was gone, there’s no point after that.) Firefly ended. (Serenity was a perfect ending.) These guys SUCK. I’m not kidding. In the great realm of things, they’re not even that great of a set of writers. Especially now that I’ve seen what OTHERS are capable of (RTD, Joss, etc.). That’s how I feel. Take it or leave it. But that’s just the truth. It wasn’t all it could’ve been. In general, it wasn’t worth the hype. I don’t care what the rest of the fans say. THIS fan wasn’t impressed.
Character by character?
• Nothing new about Cam.
• Nothing that new with Sam.
• Daniel’s character development was nice, but all in all, not as effective as it could’ve been.
• Teal’c? Same story over and over and over. (No, really, how many times has he been in this situation?) If *I’D* been faced with people knowing everything about me, I’d’ve tied ‘em up and tortured them for information.
• Vala/Qetesh? YAWWWWWWWWWN.
• Jack? Go away. No, really. You don’t impress me anymore.
I know I might offend some with this review (especially the thing with Jack-forgive me please. I could’ve cared less if he were going to be in it or not. I wanted to see the next great adventure, not the RDA Show), but to each their own. I wasn’t pleased. There better be a third movie to clean up this mess.
It just wasn’t worth all the hype. Even the trailers showed all these kickass SFX shots, and well, oh my. That’s ALL the SFX shots. *snarls*
Yeah. You wanna know what upsets me the most? I envy those fans who liked it. I WISH I could’ve liked it. It would’ve me a sense of satisfaction.
*siiiiiiiiiighs*
But in the optimstic areas of Meg's life, there's an orgasmic trailer for Half Blood Prince and my desktop
*grins*
*cracks knuckles* Owwwwwwwwww.
This is basically just a STRAIGHT THROUGH THE MOVIE review. A commentary. I’ve watched it, like, FOUR times thus far and I figured the review warranted a study. It’s broken up by scenes, if you will, so it’ll be easier to follow. And it took me about 3 hours to do this cuz I kept pausing. :P
And I’m rather saddened to say that even after four viewings, my original opinions haven’t changed much.
Credits:
• My my. How the credits looks like another episode. *rollseyes*
• Okay, am I the only one annoyed by how off-kilter the names are??? They’re not even centered and the font is WAY too small.
• One MUST love that Walter finally got his parking spot. :D
• ACK! It’s Major Davis!!!!! *loves on him* (And THAT’S the LAST we see of him. AND Walter. How lame are the cameos in this.)
• Cue the music and there’s our SG1. I always did love the desert camos on Ben. And is it just me or does Shanks look annoyed?
• Vala + BIG GUN = LURVE. And somehow I doubt Crichton could’ve pried that gun away from Aeryn’s hands. :P
• .........I really don’t like the way Sam said “It is pretty incredible.” Weirdly out of character.
• Cue the cheesy violin music and zoom in and Meg’s benefit of the doubt went bye-bye and she rolled her eyes...AGAIN.
• Cue the kawhoosh and Landry’s head being vaporized. Oh. Wait. Nope, that was only my wishful thinking.
• “Godspeed” is better than “Go to it.”
• The Tok’ra homeworld looks like Atlantis. O_o
• And suddenly Meg wants all the chanters to bang their heads on a piece of wood. :D
Tok’ra Homeworld and the Achilles:
• I will admit, crooning the crimes was inventive.
• Okay, we ARE in Atlantis. Since when did the Tok’ra have a freezing chamber? O_o
• Hello, muscles. *licks*
• You’d think after TEN FREAKING YEARS, they would’ve found ONE pronunciation for “Goa’uld” and STUCK with it.
• “How’s tricks, B?” The first and LAST great O’Neill line.
• At least they mentioned cake.
• WHY must they monologue?!?!? You really want SG1 to suffer then DON’T TELL them your freaking plan!
• Okay, why does RDA sound like a chipmunk?!?!?! Even Russ wondered what the hell was up with the voice.
• Ben Browder’s so good with the makeup. Takes me back to Farscape.
• Right. Since Danny-Boy’s so concerned, let me bring this up. I remember the days when if one of the team just disappeared, at least one of the others WOULD’VE GONE TO LOOK FOR THEM.
• Ummmmmm, maybe I’m just not that versed in injuries and whatnot, but how could that stab have killed O’Neill so quickly? It was extremely fake for me. Stab him through the neck and I might believe it. (Why not? They spared no expense with bloodiness in this.)
• Cam’s grandfather getting injured and him faltering was a nice touch.
• Wide shot of staff blast firing was nice too.
• Would Ba’al have been the last to go through the gate? I doubt it.
• Hm. You’d think Cam’s grandfather would’ve stared at the min-Death star wondering what the hell it was rather than just chunking it. *stares*
• I hate hate HATE it when one of the character’s feels the need to tell another character to hurry up by saying their name. I HATE it. It’s so stupid and if you WANT them to speed up, leave them the hell alone.
Through the Gate:
• The purple wormhole was nice-looking.
• “The Stargate is in a box.” STILL makes me snicker. I love the wimpy way he said that. :D
• Okay, lots of things in a few seconds.
1) Why does Cam keep calling Sam “Carter?” He usually says “Sam.”
2) Am I the only who gets annoyed with how they ALWAYS turn to Sam for answers? Can’t she be lost for ONCE? Geez. Think for yourselves, people.
3) Shippy goodness.
4) Nice to see her being emotional.
• I love how everyone else always looks around for the answers, but what does Daniel do? Looks in a box. :D
• Huh. I didn’t know Celsius and Fahrenheit were the same at that temp either.
• Ummmmmmm, why did they cover their ears for a gun firing but not for the C4 blowing? O_o
• *snorts* I love Danny’s sarcasm.
• Oh Lord. I knew they were gonna have Daniel’s leg removed for some reason, but for THAT reason? I got the shivers. :(
• How the hell did they climb up that hole?
• Forget the ship. I LOVE the aurora.
• Um. I’m having serious issues with Sam exclaiming Daniel’s name about his injury. I dunno. It bugs me.
• Daniel gets more and more bitter as this series goes on. Kinda makes me squeamish. And love him more.
• And if the temp is BELOW -40 IN the ship and colder outside, wouldn’t Sam’s tears have frozen instantly?
• But Daniel’s eyes filling with tears and that scared expression and the “Oh shit?” FANTASTIC. It may be wrong of me, but I love it when they include curse words that they can’t include on TV.
• Okay, I know that it was a huge deal for them to film in the Arctic, but the long shots of nothing but white got on my nerves. It was completely out of context for me.
• GOD. I love submarines.
On The Sub and Pre-Separation:
• Okay, you KNOW those guys on the sub are Navy. LOVE it. Fly Navy, fly.
• “Always happy to help the Air Force.” *SNICKER*
• Repeating the order? LOVE it even more. :D :D :D
• I LOVE submarines.
• Wow. How nonchalant, Daniel. Even if you ARE high as a kite. I actually liked that acting choice.
• THIS is the O’Neill I love.
• *SNORTS* THAT’S a great face, Danny-boy.
• “Closest thing you have to a best friend.” And the J/D slashers go BONKERS.
• Oh wooooooooooow. Charlie’s alive. THAT chilled me to the BONE.
• I love how rude and harsh O’Neill is in that scene.
• Okay, I LOVE the interrogation scenes. THAT was awesome. Proof that maybe TPTB actually DO have creative license. And them getting more and more angry? Awesome.
• Ummmmmm, her name’s not CaroLINE. It’s CaroLYN. *rollseyes*
• Alrighty then. We’re in Alaska now. Good to know.
• Landry’s a jerk in EVERY timeline. And seriously, dude, stop making love to your coffee cups.
• The Navy’s in charge of the program. God, it’s like the movie was made with nods for Meg. :D
• Okay, I don’t like Landry. I never have. But seriously? His rant? I agree with him 100 freaking percent. Their arrogance? Absolutely. I’m glad they finally wrote in that maybe, just MAYBE, THEIR timeline and THEIR reality isn’t, in fact, the RIGHT one. That created some new respect for TPTB. It really did. (A very small respect, mind you.) Even though it turned out to be the wrong one in the end, Landry’s rant really impressed me.
• LORD. The COPIOUS amounts of fanfic tags for right before they separated is MIND BLOWING.
The Separation:
• Yikes. She can’t go into any field she knows. THAT’S harsh.
• Does anyone know who Daniel’s taxi driver is? He looks REALLY familiar.
• BAD continuity. In the cab, the flag is blowing in the breeze. Outside, it suddenly stops. *cringes*
• *blinks* Since when do taxis have collision hubcaps? *scratches head*
• No seriously. What was the point of the chick and the kid?
• Why the hell is the bookstore that DARK? Like anyone could READ anything in there.
• LOL!!! What a picture. :D
• Wooooow. The goofs on IMDB were right. The paragraphs on the back of the book? They ARE the same paragraph with only the first sentence being different.
• HA!!! Hilariously enough, I’m munching on some dry Fruit Loops. :D
• Oh my hormones. Yeah. Stace? Nate and the Charger? Meet Ben and the Mustang. *DROOOOOOOOOOOOLS*
• I have ALWAYS loved that house.
• And of course he would call himself. Was there ever any doubt? And wow. What a conversation. “You have to have more faith in yourself.” AWESOME.
• YES!!!!!!!!!!!! ALKESH!!!!!!!!!!!
• *snorts* No way would Daniel have a TV. :D And btw, is it night where he is? And if so, WHY is it night when it’s daylight where Cam and Sam are?
The Oncoming:
• Oh my. I think Meg’s SFX hormones just had multiple orgasms.
• Okay, if THAT’s Earth, *points* *points again* then what’s the red swirly thing in the back? O_o
• *SCREAMS* It’s Apophis!!!!!! AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHGH!!!!!!
• ......why does Apophis sound like a whiny boy?
• Glowy eyes. Nostalgia.
• *stares* Great comeback, Ba’al. WOOT. *rollseyes*
• Wow. They spared no expense with the cameos, did they?
• “Here is God standing here with wet hands.” Oy. LOVE it.
• I REALLY don’t like the way Qetesh sounds. She speaks to slowly to have Vala as a host.
• YES. Henry Hayes. Yay!
• I swear, I’m trying not to cry right now. Godspeed, George. We miss you.
• Am I the only one who thinks it would’ve been SO TOTALLY cool to have Hammond be President in this timeline? :D Not feasible, but still fun to think about. :D
• *snorts* Oh the Daniel sarcasm.
• Okay, if this timeline is different, what happens if they go get that certain someone with the Ancient gene (who-know-who), go to Taonas, get the ZPM, go BACK to Antarctica, get to the Outpost and holy mother, he actually DOESN’T have the gene in this timeline? *stares* This is why fans are the smartest people alive.
• Oooo! Lotsa Ha'taks exiting hyperspace! Nummy!
• DAMN. SERIOUSLY spared no expense with the cameos. :D Hiya, Camulus.
• Maybe I’m being blonde, but I really don’t get why Ba’al is acting all merciful.
• Just noticed Teal’c’s new tattoo. I like it better than Apophis’s.
• A satellite phone? Oh, that……is…….just………the STUPIDEST thing I’ve ever seen.
• “He hung up on me.” BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Betrayal and So Forth:
• Is it just me or does Qetesh look really really really tired? Like, bags under the eyes tired?
• GOD, I love the shot of all those Ha’taks in front of Earth.
• Funny how casually Hayes talks to the President of Russia. :D
• Wow. How cheesy was that walk, Qetesh.
• Oy. F-16s make me melt.
• Where the hell is Praxion? Have we heard of this before?
• GOD. F-16s. *flails*
• Okay, Meg’s gonna bitch/love for a while:
1) THIS was the scene I wanted to see most of all. Ever since I heard about an air battle with F-16s and Gliders and (*guhs*) Migs, I was looking forward to THIS most of all.
2) The countless sacrifice of the other pilots telling them to go on and that they’ll engage? Made me proud.
3) Will not deny. The VFX of this scene were REALLY well done.
4) Thank God for the military jargon. I’m glad she called it “the deck.”
5) Migs. &hearts &hearts &hearts *shivers* &hearts &hearts &hearts (Yeah, Meg has a thing for fighter jets. :D)
6) Daniel’s message? KICK ASS.
7) Now, HERE’S where Meg gets mad. That’s it? That’s IT?!?!?!? That wasn’t a fight scene with all three of those planes!!!! The Migs were the cavalry and their escape route! Oh come on!!!!!! Just…..*SNARLS* Words CANNOT describe how disappointed I was with this. Fucking bastards.
• Well, they certainly got out of the planes and into a truck and to the Stargate fast, didn’t they? *stares*
• Ha! Grownups. :D And Danny and the kid’s insults. AWESOME.
• At least they thought of the shield.
• Wow. Danny must’ve gotten good at walking on that prosthetic since he picked up the book, huh? *rollseyes*
• “Right guys?”
“Sure, why not?”
“I’m not busy.”
“Let’s do it.”
*big grin*
• Ummm, where’d the Russian kid go?
• Now, here’s an issue. THAT little dinky device emits all the power they need for the Stargate? (*stares* yeah RIGHT) And why did Teal’c only press 3 buttons?
• And another. We SEE the shield fail. And we HEAR another firing shot. Why didn’t the base blow up before the kill shot? (No. I DON’T think too much, thanks. >:( )
Praxion Battle:
• I think this whole time machine location would’ve been more effective if say, it had been located on a Ba’al base we’d seen before.
• Cool holographs.
• Technobabble, technobabble. SHADDUP.
• Order from Martin Wood: “Make the rings teleport take longer so Sam can finish her technobabble.” (Sorry. I find it annoying after awhile.)
• I DO like the wave after wave of Jaffa.
• Okay, even *I* will admit I gasped when Daniel got shot. Didn’t see that coming for some SG1-is-omniscent reason. :P
• And Qetesh beams down right on cue. How convenient.
• “I die free.” Beautiful. Wait! Why wasn’t Bra’tac in this at ALL?!?!?!?
Aftermath:
• The captain has grey hair. HOW could you confuse them? Stupid.
• How did Cam get on the boat without anyone noticing? Don’t they have security? Was he IN Egypt when they moved it? Did he just never marry or spawn the Earth so the timeline would be correct? HOLES. Pisses me off.
Back on Toklantis:
• Wait, I’m confused. Why are they extracting the Goa’uld from the head?
• Wait, I’m STILL confused. Were the clones made before Ba’al went back to 1939? If so, it makes sense that SG1’s at the extraction ceremony for the last clone, but......HUH?!?!?!
• I agree with Cam. That was dull.
• RDA still sounds like a chipmunk.
• I like that Vala wanted to stay and help the host.
Right. All in all? After four viewings?
I thought it sucked.
No seriously. I didn’t like it. It was a glorified episode. Sure, some may argue that that’s all it COULD be, but no actually, it could’ve been more. Ark of Truth was EPIC. And it had a point. It finished up a storyline. This is something that has ALWAYS bugged me about TPTB of the Stargate universe. (And Russ and I argued this for HOURS after we watched it the first time.) They just DON’T know how to end a story. God, Star Trek TNG ended. (Once Data was gone, there’s no point after that.) Firefly ended. (Serenity was a perfect ending.) These guys SUCK. I’m not kidding. In the great realm of things, they’re not even that great of a set of writers. Especially now that I’ve seen what OTHERS are capable of (RTD, Joss, etc.). That’s how I feel. Take it or leave it. But that’s just the truth. It wasn’t all it could’ve been. In general, it wasn’t worth the hype. I don’t care what the rest of the fans say. THIS fan wasn’t impressed.
Character by character?
• Nothing new about Cam.
• Nothing that new with Sam.
• Daniel’s character development was nice, but all in all, not as effective as it could’ve been.
• Teal’c? Same story over and over and over. (No, really, how many times has he been in this situation?) If *I’D* been faced with people knowing everything about me, I’d’ve tied ‘em up and tortured them for information.
• Vala/Qetesh? YAWWWWWWWWWN.
• Jack? Go away. No, really. You don’t impress me anymore.
I know I might offend some with this review (especially the thing with Jack-forgive me please. I could’ve cared less if he were going to be in it or not. I wanted to see the next great adventure, not the RDA Show), but to each their own. I wasn’t pleased. There better be a third movie to clean up this mess.
It just wasn’t worth all the hype. Even the trailers showed all these kickass SFX shots, and well, oh my. That’s ALL the SFX shots. *snarls*
Yeah. You wanna know what upsets me the most? I envy those fans who liked it. I WISH I could’ve liked it. It would’ve me a sense of satisfaction.
*siiiiiiiiiighs*
But in the optimstic areas of Meg's life, there's an orgasmic trailer for Half Blood Prince and my desktop
*grins*
*cracks knuckles* Owwwwwwwwww.