(no subject)
damn i never realized how expensive poetry magazines are. the one i wanted being $10. ugh. pisses me off. seeing as i had to spend $12 on "wild meat and the bully burgers" yes i own this book now. ahhhh. i want school to end. i dont want to drive over the "hill" aka mountain to come to school everyday and think about the fact that on discovery channel last night they said a tsunami could hit seattle and come down to us and i dont want to die in a big wave. ok. now that thats out of my system.
beth got her first tattoo last night and i must say that i was lusting over the thought of getting another one cause i really want a cuff on my left arm but dont have money for it right now. i was trying to explain the cuff thing to joe at work and he asked if i meant, like, handcuffs. i had to laugh at that he was amusing me yesterday but honestly um yeah not handcuffs. ahh. try to explain something and u just get crap for it...
so yeah now i have to pick 5-7 of my peoms for a portforlio but too bad most of my poetic work of the semester was written a few minutes before turning it in, which means i dont like the poems, dont want to sum them up as my best work, and certainly dont want to write a lengthy paper on the techniques i used. i mean seriously. i can tell u that in a sentence...espresso, little sleep, panic, 5 min. yeah.
life really confuses me sometimes. i feel like a real bitch sometimes too. i mean. i love my friends. but i find myself getting annoyed and pissed at them which i dont really mean to do but i get so damn frusterated and then ill run my mouth off when im drunk or tired and that gets me in trouble cause i regret later that i said those things, i mean its one thing to think it in ure head, cause then u can tell yourself to shutup...its harder to go back and undo what u said to other people. maybe i just am a bad friend. maybe i just dont have to capacity to be a good one right now, seeing as i think i should be one of the last people that people rely on, yet i find myself being relied on. i confuse myself.
oh, just to tell u all (all being um...the no one that reads this this) an embarrassing moment. actually, not embarrassing. just awkward maybe. ha. ok. so. ed comes over to watch detroit rock city. my roommates are asleep by the time we are done, so its all quiet and dark and 3am. well not really dark cause i live by the auto strip so allthe lights make it look like 6am all night. anyways. he always gives me really tight hugs cause he has this amazing ability to make my back crack like crazy and yeah, well, i like it, who wouldnt? its like a free chiropracter right there. sooo...yeah. um. this time i was standing up higher than him cause there is a little step by my door and i wasnt expecting the back crack thing, well he did it but he was too low so basically squeezed the life out of my abdomin, except that "life" in this story could be substituted for "gas" ha. thats right. i farted. it was pretty hilarious and probably sick but i didnt know what to do because ive never really heard any of the guys in that particular circle fart or really joke about it or claim them. so yeah. it was an awkward moment. didnt know whether to claim it or ignore it. damn confusing men. anyways my confusing was broken by the fact that i had a coughing fit at that moment. but yeah. so jokes will be made about that later i suppose, though it was def very awkward. but after he left i went into the bathroom and laughed for a long time about it and contemplated calling several people to tell them but had to decide against it cause it was too late. haha. ok im done and i should be writing a paper right now for film criticism or ethnic lit but im procrastinating as always.
beth got her first tattoo last night and i must say that i was lusting over the thought of getting another one cause i really want a cuff on my left arm but dont have money for it right now. i was trying to explain the cuff thing to joe at work and he asked if i meant, like, handcuffs. i had to laugh at that he was amusing me yesterday but honestly um yeah not handcuffs. ahh. try to explain something and u just get crap for it...
so yeah now i have to pick 5-7 of my peoms for a portforlio but too bad most of my poetic work of the semester was written a few minutes before turning it in, which means i dont like the poems, dont want to sum them up as my best work, and certainly dont want to write a lengthy paper on the techniques i used. i mean seriously. i can tell u that in a sentence...espresso, little sleep, panic, 5 min. yeah.
life really confuses me sometimes. i feel like a real bitch sometimes too. i mean. i love my friends. but i find myself getting annoyed and pissed at them which i dont really mean to do but i get so damn frusterated and then ill run my mouth off when im drunk or tired and that gets me in trouble cause i regret later that i said those things, i mean its one thing to think it in ure head, cause then u can tell yourself to shutup...its harder to go back and undo what u said to other people. maybe i just am a bad friend. maybe i just dont have to capacity to be a good one right now, seeing as i think i should be one of the last people that people rely on, yet i find myself being relied on. i confuse myself.
oh, just to tell u all (all being um...the no one that reads this this) an embarrassing moment. actually, not embarrassing. just awkward maybe. ha. ok. so. ed comes over to watch detroit rock city. my roommates are asleep by the time we are done, so its all quiet and dark and 3am. well not really dark cause i live by the auto strip so allthe lights make it look like 6am all night. anyways. he always gives me really tight hugs cause he has this amazing ability to make my back crack like crazy and yeah, well, i like it, who wouldnt? its like a free chiropracter right there. sooo...yeah. um. this time i was standing up higher than him cause there is a little step by my door and i wasnt expecting the back crack thing, well he did it but he was too low so basically squeezed the life out of my abdomin, except that "life" in this story could be substituted for "gas" ha. thats right. i farted. it was pretty hilarious and probably sick but i didnt know what to do because ive never really heard any of the guys in that particular circle fart or really joke about it or claim them. so yeah. it was an awkward moment. didnt know whether to claim it or ignore it. damn confusing men. anyways my confusing was broken by the fact that i had a coughing fit at that moment. but yeah. so jokes will be made about that later i suppose, though it was def very awkward. but after he left i went into the bathroom and laughed for a long time about it and contemplated calling several people to tell them but had to decide against it cause it was too late. haha. ok im done and i should be writing a paper right now for film criticism or ethnic lit but im procrastinating as always.