IDK, my bff Mavis Beacon?
So my dad has cateracts. We have just found this out, and considering all the eye problems available this one's not the worst. He went to the doctor who caught them, from what I can gather, relatively early, and he's got a surgical consult soon that'll determine if it's time for plastic lenses in his eyeballs. If that happens, he should be cool unless he has a rare reaction to the new lenses, so I'm trying not to get too freaked out.
My father is my favorite person in the universe, but we are both horrible at cheering each other up in the short term. For example, one time while I was having a panic attack and was convinced I was choking, his response was something along the lines of "dont worry, I know how to do a tracheotomy" (I cant spell that). Now, in a general sense I suppose it is good to know that if I ever need a hole in my throat, a professional is available. But holding throat stabbing over a person's head is the wrong thing to do in a panic attack. Also, "If you go blind, can we get a dog?" is not the right response to cateracts. And no, we can't get a dog.
So one eye has them worse than the other. My main concern isn't really that he'll loose his vision completely but more than he won't recover enough in that one eye. We did have a laugh about guessing how my mom would have reacted to deminished sight in one eye. "Tough!" is the reaction we projected (my mom had a glass eye).
The whole thing's broght a lot of frustrations to the surface. Things that are selfish but I can't help thinking about. I don't know if or when there'll be a time when I'll have to take care of my dad, but the eye thing makes it feel closer than I'd like. It isn't as though I wouldn't take care of dad if he needed me too, the issue really is Sacramento, and how I don't feel like I could stay here, but if it came down to it would I be able to ask daddy to leave?
He's putting a lot of work into the old house so it'll be a good place to live in, and that's good for him, I want him to have that, but Sac really isn't my city anymore. The elementary school I spent nine years in is being demolished and rebuilt accross the street after a long property battle with Mercy Hosptial and I'm bitter about that. Corti Bros, possibly the best grocery store sacramento has to offer, just lost its lease and although they are looking for a new location I'm fearful that one won't appear in time to save the buisness (not to mention the memories I have at that location growing up). As far as friends go, I only really have Sofy here--who's working hard so she can eventually leave-- since Ryan'd doing his own thing and I'm about ready to give up on Jen entirely because the woman does not know how to return a phone call to save her life.
I hate that everything's up in the air like this. I really suck at making friends and once I make a few I tend to settle in and not bother making more, so when graduations happen and it's time to move out of a place it's just a whole slurry of UGH for me. I could try to make new friends in Sac, but like I said, I don't want to stay here and even though I don't know where I want to go when I have to leave santa cruz, I don't think it'll be here. I know here, but I don't live here, you know?
bah, but enough with the serious shit--who whants to hear about my airport fiasco!? Anyone? Holy crap, the entire trip--all our first flights were late, and all our connections were on time, meaning that we missed every single connection on the whole trip and I have speant enough time in an airpot to even make ME, NorCal's best interpretation of a jetsetter, absolutely sick of air travel.
AAAAnnyway, I followed my grand summer tradtion and got on a Pride and Prejudice kick. I go on an A&E BINGE. So today I went to Borders and spent like three hours in there reading published P&P parallels and sequels...in other words, fanfic with binding. THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE GOOFING OFF! YES I KNOW I'M A FREAKING WEIRDO. Now here's my dilemma: the P&P fanficnovels that sounded the most fun to read (based on amazon summaries) were not actually available at my local bookstore, nor my local library. I could order them, but I think it's mean to ask a bookstore to order a book you have no intention of buying--and I have no intention of buying. I don't doubt the authors worked hard, but it's just this thing I have: I don't pay for fanfiction.
There's scores of novel lenght P&P fanfic available online for free (and when I say novel length, I mean it, the Austen fandom is crazy for wordcount it's scary like damn and woah) and from what I see of the published stuff that Borders did have, the published ones are often of no better quality than the online ones. I'm gonna give the author of Mr Darcy Takes a Wife + points for remembering that Mr. Darcy is not a talkative person...something which many online authors, to my horror, tend to forget (the horror comes from the stuff they make him say! gah!) but she looses points for not having much of an orrigional plot because it's total fanfic tropes tied together into one massive book. The Darcy Mysteries series get's points for orrigionality of premise and for making me relate P&P to Scooby Doo in a way that makes me giggle.
On the topic of my new cell phone...I got a new cell phone! I went into the store ready to buy a Palm Centro and somehow came out with a Blackberry Curve. Uh...great! So far I'm liking it, although there's a lot I miss about my Razr.
Blackberry Pros-
.websurfing. Major convenient! I can google things any time I need to--and I've already done so, becaues I'm a forgetful person. Suck it, iphone, I'm online too! (totally spent last night reading the worst fanfic ever on a tiny screen).
.It has breakout, much more fun than bejewled.
.The calender function is much nicer, and once I come up with something to do shall come in handy.
.The full keyboard makes dialing an number a little funny, but texting absolutely awesome.
.The fucker is loud! I needed a louder phone.
.I can open email attachments on my phone, including pictures and word documents. This will come in great during the school year.
Blackberry Cons-
.The alarmclock function is not as good as on the Razr. I can't preset multiple times to choose from.
.It makes a noise every time I get an email as well as a text message...which would be great if I got less junkmail.
.The fucker is hard to figure out! I haven't gotten the hang of changing the things that annoy me, like the crazy vibrate setting that's supposedly turned off but is so very not. I think it can be done, but it's not so intuitive so I need the manual.
.it's not a flip phone. flip phones are nice, you flip them up to answer flip them down to hang up, no button pressing required and buttons dont get pressed when the phone is jossled around the purse. Now I have to press accept and decline and use the keyboard lock >-<
.it has a trackball, which isnt a bad thing in of itself except I'm nervous I'll break it
.the "desktop" is uggo. I can customize it to a point, but I havent figured out a way to make it not ugly yet.
Blackberry Whatevers-
.Blackberry messenger. I think this means I can send free texts to other people with blackberrys. Great! now all I have to do is convince everyone else I know to switch service providers and get a freaking expensive phone! no problem!
.plays music and video. Newsflash! So does my nano. I really dont care if the phone does it since I won't be using that funciton.