Reflection of the once was
It could be snowing outside, it could be raining, but it was always sunny in that room. I'd enter, tossing what ever I had in my hands to the floor and approach my cd player. It rested on my white shelf that was hand made by my dad. The light from the window poured into the room, making the walls shimmer, and the orange shag carpet seem brighter and newer then what it really was. I could see rays of light as clear as day. Looking through those rays i could see dust floating in the air. I'd try to reach for a speck, stretching out my fingers. Sometimes i'd touch one, but mostly i just enjoyed the warmth from the rays. I'd turn my cd player on and repeat a song. "No body loves me," It would play, "Nobody cares." Ridiculous lyrics for the way i felt, but it wasn't the lyrics, It was the time and it was the feeling of the moment. I'd close my eyes and could still see the warmth from the window, the song still playing in the background, "Nobody loves me, maybe i'll go eat worms." The room was small and the room was old, but it was my room. Trying hard to in-grave the image of the room and the feeling of the time, i closed my eyes harder. I can hear the voice from the song humming now, a peaceful hum or more of a doo. It fades as i slowly open my eyes to the window's early afternoon light.
But, it isn't the light from the window anymore. Its illuminating from my desk lamp and the song plays over and over on my computer, not the cd player play i once had. And i ask myself as i prepare for bed, "Is this what growing up feels like?"
But, it isn't the light from the window anymore. Its illuminating from my desk lamp and the song plays over and over on my computer, not the cd player play i once had. And i ask myself as i prepare for bed, "Is this what growing up feels like?"