I wrote this and got an error trying to post it and then forgot
I take it back. I do not feel like shit about it. I had fun and I’m allowed to do that. I don’t owe anyone anything. I don’t belong to anyone. I have been very clear about not being ready for or wanting a relationship. And they really were just so fucking hot... a butch firefighter with a ripped body and a tiny, perfectly proportioned tattooed goddess... yeah I deserved this.
It’s weird though. I get hit on a lot now and it feels like it’s kind of an annoying responsibility I don’t want. Because I’m sad and lonely and emotionally messy so I try not to let anyone get too close but they keep trying and I’m like... My resolve is only so strong. Being alone sucks so yeah I’m gonna let you come over and cuddle and be cute even though I know we’re not gonna be together because I’ve told you I don’t see us together in the future and if you’re ignoring that and catching feelings like... I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about that. I can barely manage my emotions I’m definitely not going to manage someone else’s. Even if I do care about you. You’ve gotta care about you too. At least a little.
It’s weird though. I get hit on a lot now and it feels like it’s kind of an annoying responsibility I don’t want. Because I’m sad and lonely and emotionally messy so I try not to let anyone get too close but they keep trying and I’m like... My resolve is only so strong. Being alone sucks so yeah I’m gonna let you come over and cuddle and be cute even though I know we’re not gonna be together because I’ve told you I don’t see us together in the future and if you’re ignoring that and catching feelings like... I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about that. I can barely manage my emotions I’m definitely not going to manage someone else’s. Even if I do care about you. You’ve gotta care about you too. At least a little.