Ror-shach! Baby, Ror-shach!
Sweety and I saw the Rorschach profile on Heroes (complete with a plug that calls Rorschach, Dr. Manhattan, Silk Spectre II et al "The Watchmen," like it's a team name). Although we liked most of what we saw of Rorschach, I was disappointed to hear all the characters say "Ror-shack." I've always said "Ror-shock," and given the "raw shark" joke in the book, that seems correct to me.
I mentioned it to Sweety, who said, "Oh, me too. But doesn't it make you want to sing 'Ror-shack! Baby Ror-shack!' to the tune of 'Love Shack'?"
If you see an inky blot on the face of a man, it means
"Watch out, 'cause I'm Rorshach!" Rorschach, yeah!
I'm headin' down to Big Apple today,
Lookin' for a bad alleyway
Heading for a rough alleyway, (tough alleyway)
I got me a car, it's as big as a whale
and we're headin' on down
To see Rorshach
I got me a Chrysler, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your honest money
Oh, Rorchach is an ugly li'l runt
Who will break your fingers
Rorschach's cra-a-zy! Rorshach's crazy.
"Hurm," baby, that's where it's at,
Ooh, "hurm" baby, that's where it's at
Face says.. Woo... stay away fools,
'cause pain rules with dude R-o-o-orshach!
Well he's all messed up with a mental kinda thing
Just a sicko Rorschach who gets criminals whacked
Spatters on the mattress
Spatters on old Broadway
Spatters on the front porch
Spatters on the hallway
Oh, Rorshach is a little old nut
Who will break your fing-e-ers!
Rorcshach's cra-a-zy! Rorschach's crazy!
Rorschach, that's where it's at!
Twistin' and a-bendin', snappin' and a-breakin',
When he's got your digits
You'll wish he were mistaken
There goes your pinky!
There goes your pinky when everybody's
Squirming around and around and around and around!
Everybody's wicked, everybody's crooked baby!
Crooks linin' up to get out of this town
Everybody's wicked, everybody's crooked baby
Sick and sad Rorschach! Oh, god, is he whack!
Hop in my Chrysler,
it's as big as a whale
and it's about to set sail!
I got me a car, it seats about twenty
So c'mon and bring your hard-earned money.
That Rorsharch is a creepy li'l guy
Who just hates his dead mother
Rorshach baby! Rorshach bay-bee!
(Rorshach...Rorshach...)
Rorshach. Where's his head at?
Bang bang bang on the door baby!
Knock a little louder sugar!
Bang bang bang on the door baby!
Mom can't hear you
Bang bang on the door baby
Bang bang on the door
Bang bang on the door baby
Bang bang
She's what?... Cheap whore, busted!
Rorshach! Crazy Rorschach!
Rorshach! Crazy Rorschach!
Pain, baby, that's where it's at
Rorshach! Crazy Rorschach!
Blood, baby, that's where it's at
Twistin' and a-bendin'
Snappin' and a breakin' with that Ror. Shach.
I almost went with a version that kept more of the original text and focused on his sexual repression, but this stuff scanned more easily. Someone better at filking could probably work in the dog, too. But hey, at least it's up in time for the advance screening now.
May Alan Moore, David Gibbons, and the B-52s forgive me.
I mentioned it to Sweety, who said, "Oh, me too. But doesn't it make you want to sing 'Ror-shack! Baby Ror-shack!' to the tune of 'Love Shack'?"
If you see an inky blot on the face of a man, it means
"Watch out, 'cause I'm Rorshach!" Rorschach, yeah!
I'm headin' down to Big Apple today,
Lookin' for a bad alleyway
Heading for a rough alleyway, (tough alleyway)
I got me a car, it's as big as a whale
and we're headin' on down
To see Rorshach
I got me a Chrysler, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your honest money
Oh, Rorchach is an ugly li'l runt
Who will break your fingers
Rorschach's cra-a-zy! Rorshach's crazy.
"Hurm," baby, that's where it's at,
Ooh, "hurm" baby, that's where it's at
Face says.. Woo... stay away fools,
'cause pain rules with dude R-o-o-orshach!
Well he's all messed up with a mental kinda thing
Just a sicko Rorschach who gets criminals whacked
Spatters on the mattress
Spatters on old Broadway
Spatters on the front porch
Spatters on the hallway
Oh, Rorshach is a little old nut
Who will break your fing-e-ers!
Rorcshach's cra-a-zy! Rorschach's crazy!
Rorschach, that's where it's at!
Twistin' and a-bendin', snappin' and a-breakin',
When he's got your digits
You'll wish he were mistaken
There goes your pinky!
There goes your pinky when everybody's
Squirming around and around and around and around!
Everybody's wicked, everybody's crooked baby!
Crooks linin' up to get out of this town
Everybody's wicked, everybody's crooked baby
Sick and sad Rorschach! Oh, god, is he whack!
Hop in my Chrysler,
it's as big as a whale
and it's about to set sail!
I got me a car, it seats about twenty
So c'mon and bring your hard-earned money.
That Rorsharch is a creepy li'l guy
Who just hates his dead mother
Rorshach baby! Rorshach bay-bee!
(Rorshach...Rorshach...)
Rorshach. Where's his head at?
Bang bang bang on the door baby!
Knock a little louder sugar!
Bang bang bang on the door baby!
Mom can't hear you
Bang bang on the door baby
Bang bang on the door
Bang bang on the door baby
Bang bang
She's what?... Cheap whore, busted!
Rorshach! Crazy Rorschach!
Rorshach! Crazy Rorschach!
Pain, baby, that's where it's at
Rorshach! Crazy Rorschach!
Blood, baby, that's where it's at
Twistin' and a-bendin'
Snappin' and a breakin' with that Ror. Shach.
I almost went with a version that kept more of the original text and focused on his sexual repression, but this stuff scanned more easily. Someone better at filking could probably work in the dog, too. But hey, at least it's up in time for the advance screening now.
May Alan Moore, David Gibbons, and the B-52s forgive me.