Fic: Coffee and Proposals (PG 13) Barty/Ianto
Title: Coffee and Proposals
Author: Jade
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Torchwood/Harry Potter
Pairing: Barty/Ianto (hints)
Spoilers: None
Summary: Barty, Jack and Ianto in the conference room. Pure crack.
A/N: Written while bored ages ago. Is set in an alternate universe in which Barty is part of the team. Sort of sequel to this this fic.
Ianto came into the conference room, carrying a tray of coffee cups and handed Barty his coffee, who took the cup like Ianto was handing him the Holy Grail.
"Thanks," Barty said with a grin, as he took a sip. "Mm, Marry me, Ianto?" he said jokingly, causing Jack to snort with laughter.
"You're only marrying me for my coffee," Ianto teased back. "Any more proposals before I think of accepting?"
"You are such a coffee addict," Jack stated, watching Barty drinking his coffee. "You should just marry the coffee pot."
"While I love my coffee... it takes ages to get the stains out," Barty answered, finishing his coffee and looked pleadingly at Ianto. "You don't snore, do you Ianto?" he teased as Ianto brought him another cup of coffee. "Mm, you're my best friend."
"Not that I'm aware of," Ianto answered. "Do you?"
"Not had any complaints yet," Barty answered with a smirk. "Of course, being asleep, I'm unaware of it, so you'd be better off asking the Doctor. Although, I wouldn't sleep with him, if I were you, he tends to snore... Loudly," he stated, grinning as Jack spat out the mouthful of coffee over the table. He cheekily winked at Ianto. "you owe me ten pounds."
"You bet on me?" Jack asked, once he had recovered after he became a victim to the 'choking on the coffee' syndrome and raised an eyebrow.
"Well, we wanted to see if anything would shock the 'Unshockable' Jack Harkness," Ianto answered, "and Barty bet that if he could." He pointed at Barty. "You, Barty Crouch, are one twisted person," he scolded, but the hint of a smile playing around his lips betrayed his mirth.
"Ianto's right, you are twisted," Jack pointed out. "Especially when you bring the Doctor into it."
"Thank you," Barty replied with a devilish smirk. "So, was that an acceptance of my proposal?"
"Okay," Ianto answered, with a smile.
"I'm not the one who suggested emailing Owen the CCTV footage of what we got up to in the autopsy bay. I wonder if Owen would choke on his coffee too."
Jack raised an eyebrow. "What did you do?"
"Just a bit of roleplay," Ianto answered, trying not to laugh.
Barty smirked, leaned over and whispered in Jack's ear. His grin grew wider when he moved back and took in Jack's expression.
"What?" Jack squeaked, and cleared his throat. He swallowed and spoke again. "Where can I find this footage?"
Author: Jade
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Torchwood/Harry Potter
Pairing: Barty/Ianto (hints)
Spoilers: None
Summary: Barty, Jack and Ianto in the conference room. Pure crack.
A/N: Written while bored ages ago. Is set in an alternate universe in which Barty is part of the team. Sort of sequel to this this fic.
Ianto came into the conference room, carrying a tray of coffee cups and handed Barty his coffee, who took the cup like Ianto was handing him the Holy Grail.
"Thanks," Barty said with a grin, as he took a sip. "Mm, Marry me, Ianto?" he said jokingly, causing Jack to snort with laughter.
"You're only marrying me for my coffee," Ianto teased back. "Any more proposals before I think of accepting?"
"You are such a coffee addict," Jack stated, watching Barty drinking his coffee. "You should just marry the coffee pot."
"While I love my coffee... it takes ages to get the stains out," Barty answered, finishing his coffee and looked pleadingly at Ianto. "You don't snore, do you Ianto?" he teased as Ianto brought him another cup of coffee. "Mm, you're my best friend."
"Not that I'm aware of," Ianto answered. "Do you?"
"Not had any complaints yet," Barty answered with a smirk. "Of course, being asleep, I'm unaware of it, so you'd be better off asking the Doctor. Although, I wouldn't sleep with him, if I were you, he tends to snore... Loudly," he stated, grinning as Jack spat out the mouthful of coffee over the table. He cheekily winked at Ianto. "you owe me ten pounds."
"You bet on me?" Jack asked, once he had recovered after he became a victim to the 'choking on the coffee' syndrome and raised an eyebrow.
"Well, we wanted to see if anything would shock the 'Unshockable' Jack Harkness," Ianto answered, "and Barty bet that if he could." He pointed at Barty. "You, Barty Crouch, are one twisted person," he scolded, but the hint of a smile playing around his lips betrayed his mirth.
"Ianto's right, you are twisted," Jack pointed out. "Especially when you bring the Doctor into it."
"Thank you," Barty replied with a devilish smirk. "So, was that an acceptance of my proposal?"
"Okay," Ianto answered, with a smile.
"I'm not the one who suggested emailing Owen the CCTV footage of what we got up to in the autopsy bay. I wonder if Owen would choke on his coffee too."
Jack raised an eyebrow. "What did you do?"
"Just a bit of roleplay," Ianto answered, trying not to laugh.
Barty smirked, leaned over and whispered in Jack's ear. His grin grew wider when he moved back and took in Jack's expression.
"What?" Jack squeaked, and cleared his throat. He swallowed and spoke again. "Where can I find this footage?"