A How (Not) To -Guide
Early Mornings for Nocturnal People - A How (Not) To -Guide
So, you usually stay up until 4-5 AM and then sleep until 2 PM. Dentist appointments tend to be early in the morning. How to proceed? Follow these 20 easy steps!
1. Receive the appointment notice at least a month before the date, write it down on your calendar so you won't miss it.
2. Proceed to forget about it otherwise because, hey, it's in your calendar so you will see it when the time comes.
3. Live your life like a boss.
4. It's Sunday-Monday night and 4 AM, turn the calendar page to see the new week.
5. Notice you have a dentist appointment 8 AM on Tuesday.
6. Panic.
7. No, don't panic. You can still salvage this situation.
8. Set your alarm clock early for tomorrow so that your rhythm will magically be turned upside-down on a day's notice. You know, you will wake up early and then be sleepy the whole day and go to bed earlier, right? And then Tuesday will be a success!
9. Feel sorry for yourself and give yourself a couple of more hours for tomorrow morning after all. You don't want to be loopy tomorrow because of getting only four hours of sleep. The plan should work like this too, right?
10. Sleep, then wake up for a moment in the middle of the night like usual to sip some water and glance at the clock. Feel even more sorry for yourself and reset the alarm to give yourself a couple of more hours again.
11. Wake up at 12 PM semi-chipper and feel accomplished because you shaved two hours from your sleep!
12. Go to bed early (a little after 11 PM) like a Responsible Adult.
13. Fall asleep only after an hour of spinning, yay!
14. Wake up an hour later, your brain going "Okay, you got your nap, now it's internet time!!!1!one!" and telling you that for the next three hours.
15. Fall asleep again around 4-5 AM.
16. Wake up at 7 AM, feeling like zombie.
17. Go to dentist and manage to act like a normal person there because your brain is still semi-charged.
18. Come home and don't go back to bed because that's for Losers and not for Responsible Adults.
19. Have your brain catch up on the fact that it got too little sleep last night.
20. LOOOPYYYY!