fic: gaze into the abyss (and survive this viper's nest) - 2/2

Aug 23, 2012 01:45

Title: gaze into the abyss (and survive this viper's nest)
Author: jadehunter
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing(s): Gen, with mentioned Gwen/Rhys and Jack being Jack
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Some bad language, some dead bodies, lots of casual talk of dead bodies and dying, poorly researched stuff on ancient things, and made up stuff about ritual sacrificing.

Masterpost

*****

Part 1

The first time Gwen actually realized how dangerous her new job was, it was because of a werewolf that had gone into a berserker rage at a Tesco Extra.

"I don't find Tesco particularly appealing, myself," Ianto said mildly as the SUV turned a corner too sharply and the others swore and prayed to survive Jack's driving, "but this is the first I've heard of it inspiring murderous rage."

Hanging on to her seatbelt for dear life, cursing the fact that her junior agent status had her sitting in the middle with nothing solid to hang on to, Gwen nonetheless managed to ask, "Do werewolves often go into murderous rages?"

"Even in human form, they're little more than mindless beasts driven by instinct," Ianto said bluntly, and only the whiteness of his knuckles as he gripped the grab handle betrayed the fact that he wasn't as impervious to Jack's driving as he seemed. "What intelligence they had when they were human burns away with every full moon they see, until the only thoughts they have are about fighting and killing each other over nothing, eating, or rutting. And if it weren't for the fact that lycanthropy makes them immune to human disease, they would undoubtedly be as pox-ridden as they are lice-ridden."

There was a silence as everyone stared at Ianto with wide eyes, though if he noticed, he made no sign of it.

"Or so I was told, when I first became a vampire."

"I suppose that answers the question about the rivalry between vampires and werewolves, then," Gwen said with a nervous laugh.

"Boys in the schoolyard are rivals," Ianto corrected her. "What passed between vampires and werewolves was a blood feud, where, for centuries, each side hunted and killed the other in a concentrated effort of wiping out what they considered a plague upon civilization."

Gwen's eyes were wide again, "You don't do that anymore, surely?"

"No, but the tales are told, all the same. And the one who Changed me was rather...old-fashioned," he said. "Hence, the mindless beasts rhetoric." Ianto actually smiled a bit as he added, "I've met werewolves before, and I rather like them - when they're not berserkers, of course. There's something very honest about the way they live."

"And they're animals in the sack," Jack added, nodding sagely. "What?" he asked defensively, when everyone groaned. "They are!"

-----

It would still be some time before Gwen thought she would feel comfortable with a gun in her hand, but there was some comfort in the fact that these clips were loaded with darts, not bullets. The tranquilizers in the darts were custom developed by Owen, based on a past formula, and it was actually potent enough to take down an elephant - or so he claimed.

The problem, of course, lay in actually managing to hit an enraged werewolf in the first place. Werewolves were fast and strong in all forms, but when they were in a berserker rage, they entered an entirely different realm of ability. Their rage propelled them to heights that they normally wouldn't be able to achieve, and despite the fact that Tosh and Owen were non-human members of the team, enhanced speed was not one of their abilities as far as Gwen could tell, because they were just as slow as she, Suzie, and Jack were in comparison to the werewolf. Of all them, Ianto was the only one who had supernatural speed, but vampire speed was apparently not as fast as werewolf speed, for the werewolf always seemed to be two steps ahead.

Still, Ianto was instrumental in pulling each of them to safety several times, so his contribution was very much appreciated.

The first few minutes of the battle were honestly just a blur, and Gwen only caught a few glimpses of the werewolf itself. Mostly, she had impressions of a large, bi-pedal creature with gleaming teeth. Heart pounding, hands shaking from fear and adrenaline and who knows what else, Gwen nonetheless held her ground when the thing turned towards her, getting off a few shots before she was tackled out of the way.

"Oof!"

She rolled away and scrambled to her feet as quickly as possible, and saw Jack do the same thing from the corner of her eye. The werewolf was still standing - had she missed? How could she have missed at such a close range, when she had been steps away from being skewered by those claws, when she had been close enough to feel its breath across her face?

But, no -

There were darts, sticking out of its stomach and chest areas. Some more on its back and shoulders. She hadn't missed, and neither had the others, but the darts didn't seem to have an effect other than to make it more enraged. The rage was almost palpable, she could see it rising off its shoulders...

What?

"The werewolf's metabolism is too fast!" Ianto called out, a tight frown on his face. He was otherwise pristine, unlike the others, who were all just as sweaty and as rumpled as Gwen felt. "She's sweating it out!"

That wasn't rage, it was steam. The werewolf's body heat, in its berserker state, was enough to evaporate the tranquilizer and whatever sweat the werewolf shed. It was unbelievable, but Gwen didn't have enough time to marvel before it attacked again, forcing the team to scatter. Tosh was a bit too slow; one of the werewolf's claws caught her in the abdomen and she went flying through the air, crashing into a shelf and bringing all of the contents down on top of her as she fell to the floor.

Gwen shouted her name in alarm, moving instinctively to help her - but that only drew the werewolf's attention back to her and it was so fast, how were they supposed to fight something that moved like this?

Then Ianto was yanking her out of the way, causing her to stumble, and she would've fallen if he hadn't kept his grip on her elbow.

"Keep your attention on the target," he told her grimly.

"But, Tosh - "

"She'll be fine, she's stronger than you think."

As if to prove Ianto right, Tosh joined them again, taking her place in the makeshift perimeter they had set up around the beast to corner it, looking a bit more roughened, but without any visible signs of pain or injury.

"Jack, we can't rely on the tranquilizers!" Suzie shouted, ejecting her clip and exchanging it for one she pulled from her jacket. "I'm switching to the silver!"

"Not yet!" Jack yelled back angrily, though his eyes never left the werewolf, "I told you, that's the last resort!"

"If the tranquilizers don't work - "

Jack cut Suzie off, "Owen, distract her!"

"Fuck you, Harkness!"

Despite his verbal protest, Owen was moving, scrambling over destroyed aisles and -

- and then he shimmered -

- and then -

- then they were surrounded by a forest, no shelves or freezer units in sight. It was green everywhere, a dark, menacing green that bled into black beyond the sunlight that filtered through the canopy above, and the trees were monstrous, wide branches looming and tangling overhead even as gnarled roots formed treacherous ground under their feet. It was like something out of Tolkien, a forest out of time, untouched by anything remotely like civilization.

"What?" Gwen gasped, gazing frantically around, her hands tightening nervously around her gun, but none of the others looked at all surprised, only anticipatory.

The werewolf, however, seemed to share her bewilderment. For the first time, it paused, ears pricking forward, nose sniffing the air, ignoring the others when they fired more tranquilizer darts. A confused whine forced itself out of its throat, a sound eminently more welcoming to hear than all of its previous growling, and then -

It shuddered, a full body tremble. Took a single, tentative step, and then collapsed to the ground with a reverberating thud.

With the sound of the werewolf hitting the floor, it was like -

- like the world around them, the forest, the trees -

- they shattered -

Gwen found herself standing in Tesco Extra again, clutching her gun dumbly.

-----

The drive back to the Hub was silent.

There was a tension there that Gwen couldn't name, but she knew it existed, and knew it was between Jack and Owen, and what Jack had ordered Owen to do, which - "What was that just now?"

Owen turned his face away, glaring out the window.

No one else volunteered any answers, and Gwen knew that she shouldn't push - she could sense that much - but at the same time she couldn't help herself. She had to know, especially if it was going to happen again; hadn't she been standing there, dumbfounded, vulnerable to any attack the werewolf might have made? It had only been luck that the werewolf had also been too surprised to move, otherwise, she might have been injured.

"I want to know," she insisted, "what the hell was that? How were we in Tesco and then in a forest - how did you do that? That was you, Owen, wasn't it?"

Owen bristled, but it was Suzie who turned to glare at Gwen past Tosh, who kept her head tucked low in order to avoid the conflict.

"Jesus, do you have to push?" Suzie snarled. "Can't you see that no one wants to fucking talk about it right now?"

"Well, I don't think surprising your teammates with something like that is right," Gwen fired back, beginning to get angry. Why was Suzie yelling at her? "Especially in the middle of a battle, when it could have gotten me killed!"

"If something like that is enough to throw your focus off of what's really important in battle, then you deserve to get killed!" Suzie sneered.

"Suzie," Jack said sharply in warning, but he didn't say anything else, and neither did anyone else.

Gwen drew back into silence, stung beyond words. Was that how Suzie really felt? How they all felt?

It wasn't the first time she'd felt like an extra wheel after joining Torchwood - that was to be expected, considering the others had been working together for some time - but it was the first time she felt like she was unwanted.

-----

When they reached the Hub, Jack ordered the others to get the werewolf in the cells before saying, "Gwen, my office."

She followed him sullenly, feeling not unlike she was being called up in school for causing trouble. It made her angry, because this wasn't her fault, and the anger gave her courage. By the time they reached Jack's office, she was glaring and fully prepared to defend herself against any reprimand he had for her.

Instead, Jack sighed tiredly and sat down behind his desk. He gestured for her to sit down and she did so, feeling defiant but confused.

"Gwen," he said, then stopped. He sighed again, and then tried to start over, "Everyone had things they don't want to talk about. Sometimes, being a good teammate means respecting that."

Gwen looked away, remembering Owen's clenched jaw and knowing Jack was right, but - "What about Suzie? Was she being a good teammate when she said it would've been my fault if I'd been killed today?"

"No, she wasn't being a good teammate to you. She was busy being a good teammate to Owen," Jack said.

She crossed her arms and challenged, "So that makes it all right, then, what she said? She made it seem like if I'd died, it would've been because I wasn't - wasn't good enough or something, like it was something - "

"Suzie has been on this team for nearly seven years now," Jack interrupted her. She glared, because he seemed to be interrupting people a lot, and it was rather annoying when he did it to you. Undeterred by her glare, he continued, "Seven years, as a non-powered human."

Gwen blinked, caught off guard by the slightly strange term. The others always said full-blooded human and non-human. It was the first time she'd heard the term non-powered human, as if the others would then be described as humans with powers as opposed to, well, creatures.

"It's an impressive record, one that she's very proud of," Jack said bluntly. "It's difficult for her to see other non-powered agents die - because they do die, Gwen. And there's a good chance you might die. That's the nature of Torchwood, the work we do, and it's a harsh environment for people without powers to help them. If she's tough on you now, it's only because she wants to see you survive this place, at least for a little while."

Gwen opened her mouth to argue, but was distracted by the sound of Owen's voice coming over the comms, "Oy, the tranquilizers are wearing off, you lot best get down here!"

-----

When she and Jack got down to the lower level, the others were already gathered in front of the cell that held the werewolf. Owen and Suzie were speaking quietly to each other off to the side, which momentarily caused a spark of anger within her, but she chose to ignore them. Tosh was standing near Ianto, who was leaning on the glass of the cell as he gazed intently inside; he was holding something draped over one arm, a large towel it looked like, and it made him seem like the world's most expensive butler.

She wanted to tease him a bit about it, but her attention was soon caught, "Is that - why does it look different?"

The creature within the cell looked nothing like the bi-pedal monster that had ransacked Tesco from earlier. Instead, there was what appeared to be a perfectly normal wolf with fur in numerous shades of grey, slowing pulling itself up from where it had been laying down on its side. An enormous yawn split her jaw, and then it shook its head slightly, eyes still dropping with the aftereffects of the tranquilizer.

"That's her usual transformed state," Ianto explained quietly. He placed a hand on the glass as the wolf looked his way, attention caught by the sound of his voice. "Werewolves are normally either human or wolf - the halfway state from earlier was because she became a berserker. It's an uncommon affliction."

"What, it's like a werewolf disease or something?" Gwen laughed incredulously.

Jack was the one to answer as he came to stand behind them, gazing thoughtfully into the cell, "Something like that. Most werewolves have control over themselves and never change involuntarily, but some few of them aren't so lucky. They have this condition, and it means that they turn into that monster version whenever they're triggered against their will, usually by extreme anger."

By this time, the werewolf seemed to have shaken off the last effects of the tranquilizer entirely. Ears moving constantly, it cast a wary gaze over all of them before moving to an upright sitting position. It lifted a paw in the air and let out a plaintive noise.

"That would be my cue," Ianto said, and opened the cell, slipping inside before anyone else could react. He shook out what he had been carrying, which turned out to be a thin blanket. "It isn't much, I'm afraid, but it was the best I could come up with on such short notice. It won't keep anyone warm for long, but it will suffice for your purpose."

Gwen tensed despite herself as Ianto walked fearlessly closer to the wolf; she had this vision in her mind of the wolf lunging and ripping out his throat - it was certainly fast enough, she'd seen that with her own eyes, and it was unnaturally large, as large as the lion she'd once seen at London Zoo when she was younger. Contrary to her fears, however, the wolf remained perfectly docile, waiting patiently as Ianto draped the blanket over its shoulders. It snorted, then lowered its front end back down to the floor in a resting position, watching as Ianto stepped back towards the door. Ianto didn't leave, however, and simply waited by the exit with an expectant look on his face.

The wolf paid him no more mind, closing its eyes and making a wretched sound, a long whine that turned into a low moaning. Something seemed to ripple underneath the fur, changing and shifting -

And then a young woman sat curled up on the cold floor of the cells, covered only by the blanket that she now clutched to herself.

"Hullo," she said, a trifle embarrassedly. "I'm terribly sorry about all this."

-----

Her name was Lizzie Lewis, and she was a part of the local werewolf pack.

"We have a werewolf pack?" Gwen asked, startled.

They were gathered above the autopsy bay, watching Owen give Lizzie Lewis a brief examination to make sure the tranquilizers hadn't done her any lasting harm.

"Any city with a decent sized population has its own werewolf pack," Jack explained, his arms crossed over his chest. "Territory lines are drawn over city lines - it's easier to keep track that way."

"The larger the city, the larger the pack, and the more powerful the pack," Tosh chimed in from where she was leaning against the railing. "Even with werewolves, it's all about the politics."

"Werewolves are a bit more sensible about their politicking than humans," Ianto commented as he came up behind them, tucking his mobile away. "If you win the fight, you win the debate." He turned to address Lizzie, "Your Alpha is sending someone to pick you up. It would be better if we could get you on the Plass before your packmates arrive, otherwise they might well force themselves down here searching for you."

Lizzie grinned, "You've met werewolves before, I gather."

"More than my share, it feels like," he replied, putting his hands into his trouser pockets. It was surprisingly casual, and strange of him to do so in front of someone who wasn't a team member.

"You've definitely met werewolves before," Lizzie laughed, and then got off the exam table when Owen tapped her shoulder.

"I don't see anything in the blood test or any of the scans," Owen said, stripping of his gloves and tossing them towards the bin. He missed, causing him to scowl irritably. "But if you feel like you're dying, give us a call. Otherwise, get out."

Ianto met her at the top of the stairs, "I'll keep you company until your packmates arrive."

She smiled, "That would be wonderful - "

"Unfortunately," Jack interrupted, frowning slightly, "that won't be possible. Ianto, isn't it time for you to eat?" Ianto immediately looked discomfited, but Jack ignored it, continuing, "Owen and Tosh will take Lizzie to the Plass."

"What?" Owen complained, but subsided at the look Jack shot him. "Fine. Let's go Tosh."

Ianto turned to Lizzie, his angry stance softening, "I apologize in advance for Owen. It was a pleasure to meet you."

Lizzie was still smiling, "The pleasure was all mine, Mr. Jones. Thank you very much for your kindness to me earlier, it was very thoughtful of you, and I am very grateful."

Inclining his head slightly, Ianto shot one last glare at Jack before stalking away.

-----

Gwen found Ianto in the kitchen nook, where he was pouring something very yellow into a mug.

"Is that the - what did Owen say it was? - the plasma?" she asked, leaning her hip against the counter.

"Synthetic plasma," Ianto said shortly. "Developed by Torchwood in the 1950s for their vampiric agents."

He didn't sound particularly enthused about it, though, to be honest, she'd yet to hear Ianto be enthused about anything. The closest he'd come, really, was when interacting with Lizzie. At least he'd been engaged, rather than observing from the side.

Draining the liquid all in one go, Ianto turned to fill the mug again, "It contains all the important bits, with none of the taste."

"So, it doesn't taste good, then?" It didn't particularly look appealing, but, then again, blood wasn't appealing to her either.

"Not even remotely," Ianto replied with a wry smile. "But it keeps me from starving to death."

"Why can't you just get some blood from the butchers or something? Like the vamps on the telly?"

"Torchwood regulations," he said simply. "Any vampires within the agency are restricted to a strictly no-blood, all-synthetic plasma diet. It doesn't matter what kind of blood, as the temptation may lead to a disaster."

Gwen tried to look on the bright side, "Well, if it stops you from getting hungry, I suppose it doesn't really matter, does it?"

Ianto turned slightly in order to face her properly, and she didn't know what to make of the look on his face as he said, "Do you mind if I ask a question?"

Despite the casual air he was taking, she could sense there was a purpose to this sudden change in subject, so she merely shook her head in reply.

"Do you ever get a food craving?" he asked, leaning back against the counter. "One moment you're fine, then the next, you're suddenly thinking about one particular thing you want to eat?"

"Potatoes," she replied instantly. "Sometimes it'll just sneak up on me, and all I want are potatoes - doesn't matter what kind, but mostly waffles or crisps."

Ianto's lips quirked, but he was not smiling at all. "What if," he said slowly, with a quiet intensity she'd never seen from him before, "every time you became hungry, all you wanted were potato waffles? What if you felt that craving, that absolute desire, every - single - day, from the moment you woke up to the moment you lay down to sleep...and no one would let you have any? And you know that if you ever slip and eat even a single bite of a potato waffle, they'll kill you without hesitation?"

Eyes wide, Gwen took in a deep breath, feeling uncertain and yet drawn forward despite herself. There was something hypnotic about the low, steady way Ianto was speaking - and it was ridiculous, he was talking about potato waffles, for god's sake, but...

She couldn't help feeling rooted to the spot - as if there wasn't a force on this earth that could convince her to move from this spot until Ianto stopped talking, stopped looking at her.

"That would be terrible, wouldn't it?" he asked, his blue, blue eyes boring into her -

- she was nodding before becoming aware of moving, agreeing without thought, because it would be terrible, to want something so badly, to crave something to the point where her mouth watered at the mere thought of it - only to be denied, and for what? What reason could there be to deny her the thing she wanted so badly?

"No reason, really," Ianto said softly, contemplatively. "It doesn't hurt, you know. It wouldn't."

"Of course not," Gwen replied, equally softly - how could it hurt? It was only satisfying a craving, that's all.

They both jumped when the cog door alarms blared, and Gwen blinked a few times, feeling as if she'd been jolted awake from an afternoon nap, that strange combination of alertness and sluggishness muddying her thoughts. Ianto had his eyes clenched tightly shut, a hand coming up to rub across his face, and for a moment, he looked stricken. It only lasted a moment, however, and then he raised his head, clutching his mug close to him, looking as impassive as ever.

"Sorry," he said abruptly, and then brushed past her to the main part of the Hub without looking back.

-----

Training sessions with Suzie continued to drag on.

It wasn't just book work anymore, although there was still plenty of that. It was unbelievable how many creatures were in the world, and she had to know things about all of them - their powers and abilities, their weaknesses, how to drive them off or even kill them. Sometimes, it seemed like there would never be an end to the studying; no matter how much she tried, sometimes what she'd just learned slipped out of her mind within the hour.

Suzie wasn't much help in that regard, as she remained as abrupt as ever. If anything, she became increasingly impatient as the days went by, and Gwen couldn't help but feel like she was a failure, especially when compared to Suzie's nearly encyclopedic knowledge of everything she was trying to teach Gwen.

The thing that gave Gwen hope was the physical lessons. Learning how to fight, how to shoot an alarming variety of guns - these things were something where she could actually see and experience her progress, could track her improvements.

Not only that, the team was including her more and more. She could understand more of their references and inside jokes, the take away places near the Hub knew her favorite orders along with everyone else's, and her desk area looked more lived in by the day.

One day, Owen even corrected her assumption on his powers - she had mentioned it in a discussion with Tosh and he'd overheard her: "Don't be stupid, Cooper, d'you know how much power it would take to transport six people and a werewolf to the forest? That wasn't moving anyone, that was just a fucking amazing illusion."

She didn't push him then, too caught up in the feeling of belonging, but -

-----

"Get away from me, Cooper, seriously, this is getting annoying," Owen scowled.

Gwen just smiled, because by this time she knew when Owen really meant what he said and when he was just saying things because it was expected, and pressed on, "Are you a wizard? Are you like Dumbledore? Is Harry Potter real? Rhys would go nuts, he's mad about those books - "

Suzie snorted into her coffee mug, "If Harry Potter were real, Owen wouldn't be Dumbledore, he'd be the male version of Pansy Parkinson or something - "

"Fuck you, Costello, I'd be an awesome wizard, if wizards existed," Owen turned his glare on Gwen, "which they don't, and, no, Harry Potter is not real, Christ, I can't believe that sentence just came out of my mouth!"

"Fine then, not a wizard. What about a mage? Do they have mages? Are you a mutant?"

-----

Things became tense as the new moon came around.

Gwen had been briefed on their serial killer, and the kinds of things a person could do with the dark powers that completing a ritual sacrifice granted them. From previous experience, if the pattern held, the body wouldn't be dumped until after the new moon, and wouldn't be found until the dead of night. Torchwood went on quiet alert, monitoring police channels and phone lines in order to get to the body first.

A day passed.

Then another.

In the end, it took almost six days after the new moon for the body to be found, and, by that time, the tension within the Hub had risen to unbearable levels. Suzie, in particular, had been extremely irate at the visible breaking of pattern.

"Fuck! Look at this," Owen swore, examining the body. "This thing's frozen solid!"

Jack crouched down next to him, eyes intent like a predator on a hunt. "The killer couldn't get rid of the body in time, not before it would start decomposing."

"The smell alone would get them caught," Ianto commented, standing a few steps away and keeping watch over the area.

Tosh furrowed her brows as she held her hands slightly above the head of the body, "I'm getting something."

"From the body?" Suzie asked, nearly dropping the EMF detector in surprise. "They finally got careless, then?"

"No, the body went through a cleansing, like the others," Tosh said, biting her lip in concentration. A slow, satisfied smile was pulling at her lips. "But it's been stored, hasn't it, and for almost a week, at that. A cleansing loses power after a while. The killer was smart enough before to dump the body before the cleansing could wear off before, but apparently, they weren't smart enough to realize even a dead body can gain impressions. I'm definitely getting readings from the past week."

Jack grinned fiercely, "Toshiko, that is the best news I've heard all month."

"Let's take the body back now, so Tosh can get started on a more in-depth analysis, then," Owen suggested, pulling off his gloves. He, too, looked eager and triumphant. "We'll get this fucker yet." His smile grew as he stood and tossed the gloves at Ianto. "And since you're here for once, you can get the body to the SUV."

Though he raised a challenging eyebrow, Ianto nonetheless pulled on a pair of gloves (though he threw away Owen's and got his own pair from the box) and shook out the body bag. As Gwen watched in amazement, he simply rolled the body into the bag, zipped it closed, then hoisted the entire thing over one shoulder as if it weighed nothing more than a pillow. The body was literally frozen stiff, so it should have looked ridiculous, but Ianto managed to do everything with the same quiet, unobtrusive grace. Even move frozen dead bodies.

"So it's true then," she said teasingly as she followed him to the back of the SUV, "vampires do have super strength."

Ianto smiled faintly, "So it seems."

His smile faded as he glanced past Gwen's shoulder, and she turned to see what he'd noticed. Suzie was still scanning the area, brows furrowed. She seemed to feel their gazes, for she soon shut the EMF detector off and met their eyes with a shrug.

"I thought I might get something this time, since Tosh was so successful," she said ruefully, heading over to pack the scanner with the rest of the equipment. "But, nothing."

"At least this person made one mistake," Gwen said optimistically. "One mistake often leads to another, right?"

Suzie smiled slightly. "Right."

Ianto shut the boot closed, frowning.

-----

"I've been thinking," Gwen said as they sat down to a meal that was too late to be called anything, really, "about what I would do if I had to store a dead body."

Owen grimaced, but took a large bite out of his pizza before saying, "Do you always have such appealing thoughts before eating?"

She shot him an annoyed look, "It's just that my refrigerator isn't anywhere big enough to store a body like that without, um, well - "

"Chopping it to bits?"

"Lovely, Owen," Tosh murmured, setting her pizza down for the moment. She turned curiously to Gwen, "That's true. And the body wasn't shoved into a small space, either, or it would've frozen in that position."

"Rigor mortis set in when the body was laid out flat on its back," Owen volunteered. "Just like all the others. If the killer had tried to cram the body into a smaller space after the fact, it would've been fucked up for sure. Didn't find any signs of that."

"Right, which means they managed to find a freezer large enough that they could store the body without folding it up. Something like that, it's got to be a walk-in freezer, and they're not exactly standard in every flat, are they?" Gwen asked smugly, finally starting to eat.

Owen paused, "Huh. Not bad, PC Cooper. You're finally starting to earn your keep."

"Good work, Gwen," Jack said, smiling proudly. "We just have to narrow down the list of places with a walk-in freezer - "

"One that wouldn't notice someone storing a dead body for a few days, at that," Ianto added dryly. "I expect it's a short list." He turned to Jack, "I could get started on that now, if you'd like."

Jack had just stuffed the rest of his pizza into his mouth, but it didn't stop him from talking; "What, you don't like watching us eat?"

-----

In the end, the list was short, and it was quickly narrowed down to six restaurants and one butchers that had been closed in the past year. They started the search with the restaurants, although that was a bit depressing; the research Ianto had produced on the premises included the reasons the restaurants had been closed, and the most prevalent reason had been failed food safety inspections. The reports were very detailed on the lack of care taken by the owners to maintain adequate food-hygiene standards.

"Christ, that's disgusting," Owen grumbled at the third restaurant, tossing a filthy cleaning cloth off the kitchen counter with gloved hands.

Jack frowned, standing in the middle of the dining area. "I think I ate here a few times."

Gwen and Tosh made noises of disgust, and they swept through the restaurant one last time before throwing in the towel and piling into the SUV once more. The moment they pulled up in front of the fourth restaurant, Tosh took in a sharp breath.

"This is it," she said, deadly serious. "It's giving off the same readings as the body."

"All right, kids, playtime's over," Jack ordered, and they all scrambled for their gears and checked their weapons. Absently sliding a palm over the grip of his Webley, Jack paused, "You okay, Ianto?"

Paler than usual, Ianto was holding himself tensely, jaw clenched. "There's blood," he said shortly. "It's old, but...I can smell it."

"Are you okay to go inside? Can you handle it?" Jack's voice was low and urgent, and Gwen couldn't help but notice the way Suzie, Tosh, and Owen had all taken several steps away.

It hit her then, the memory - Ianto, standing in the kitchen nook, the yellow liquid, a deep yearning in his eyes, in his voice, like nothing before or since: "It wouldn't hurt, you know..."

Suddenly terrified of what might happen, terrified of Ianto, Gwen scrambled back to where the others were, her eyes wide and fixed on Ianto. Jack was oblivious to the dangers, it seemed, because he leaned even closer to the vampire, placed his hand on Ianto's shoulder.

Ianto shuddered, eyes tightly shut, and said quietly, "No."

"All right, stay here," Jack murmured, squeezing. He made his tone light as he added, "We'll bring you pretty pictures while you play guard dog with the SUV."

They trooped uneasily into the restaurant, leaving Ianto leaning tiredly against the SUV, forehead pressed to the metal as if taking strength from the steel frame, and Gwen was glad of it. Her heart twisted with pity and fear, the two emotions warring within her. In the kitchen, she'd been more fascinated than disturbed by his description, too enthralled with the supernatural and its realities to understand - Ianto was a creature that desired to drink blood. The fact that he didn't was a point in his favor, but it did nothing to change the facts. Human blood, the team's blood, her blood - it was food to him; not just food, but the greatest of delicacies, the thing he dreamt of consuming.

It was a frightening thought, and one that she could never un-think; she could never see Ianto the same way again.

Gwen was jerked out of her thoughts by Owen, "Oh, bloody, buggering fuck!"

Even before she caught sight of what had shocked everyone, the smell hit her first.

Blood.

This close, with the doors and windows shut up for who knows how long, she could smell it, too, and it made her stomach roll in protest. There were black curtains hanging over the windows, so it was almost impossible to see what was causing the smell, but everyone knew it couldn't be anything pleasant. They fished out torches from their kits, and Gwen jumped back slightly when the light revealed brownish-black lines crawling all over the walls.

No, not just the walls - the floors and the ceilings, too.

It was the blood; someone, the killer, had taken the blood and used it to write strange symbols, consisting of sharp lines that led to small triangles, all over the interior of the building, which was gutted of all other furniture.

"Well, this is disturbing," Suzie said slowly, taking care not to walk on the lines on the floor as she crept deeper into the room. "What is this?"

"Aside from completely fucked up?" Owen asked sarcastically. "You're the expert in magic, why don't you tell us?"

Suzie's eyes narrowed as she said viciously, "Fuck off, Owen! You - "

"Hey!" Jack glared at both of them. "Do you really want to test what kind of mood I'm in right now?"

The two of them fell silent, moving to opposite corners of the room. That was the way with Suzie and Owen; they could be just as nasty to each other as they could be in defense of one another.

"There's no doubt now that the killer is performing a ritual of some kind," Tosh said into the silence, her hands tucked protectively under her arms, shoulders curved inwards. "It's a powerful one, too, if it's still not finished. Something that takes this long, with this many sacrifices? We're not exactly talking about a two-bit curse, here."

"No," Jack agreed grimly. "This is big stuff. This is power-to-devour-my-enemies and power-to-conquer-the-nation level. Suzie, see what readings you can get with the equipment. Owen, take samples of the blood, confirm they match our victim. Tosh, you know what to do, and Gwen, take lots of pictures. Let's get this done and get the hell out of here."

-----

Several hours after getting back to the Hub, the team gathered in the conference room to go over their findings.

"As disturbing as that scene was, it gets worse," Owen started off, leaning back in his seat. "The dried blood the killer used as finger paints? That was from all ten victims. Gave me a bit of trouble before I figured it out, but they basically used fresh blood from each new victim to paint over the symbols over and over again."

Jack grimaced, "That's nice. Tosh?"

"Ianto and I managed to identify the symbols," Tosh said, pulling up examples on the screens. "It's Sumerian cuneiform, from anywhere around 2500 BCE to 2400 BCE. I've cobbled together a translation program, but there's no telling how successful those results will be. I think Ianto might have better luck with searching the Archives."

"Anything to add, Ianto?"

Despite Jack's casual tone, it was difficult to pretend everything was all right with Ianto. At least, it was difficult for Gwen, though Tosh seemed to be concerned as well. Though he was always a bit more solitary than the others (and within a group of like Torchwood, that was saying a lot), the fact that Ianto had chosen to sit at the other end of the conference table instead of in his usual spot in the group... He was purposefully isolating himself as much as he could, and the cold look in his eyes said that he would not welcome any comments on the change in seating arrangements.

"I found the ritual," Ianto said.

Everyone jerked in shock.

"You what?" Suzie asked, eyes widening.

Taking the controller from Tosh, Ianto posted a few scanned images from the Torchwood Archives. "Don't look so shocked, I have been organizing the Archives for the past few months, if you'll recall," he rebuked. "It still took more time than I would have liked, but I did manage to find what I believe is the ritual being used by the killer."

"But it's only been a few hours," Jack marveled. "There's no way you could have found anything that fast. The place was a mess, how much straightening up could you possibly have done?"

Ianto pinned him with a flat look, "If you'd bothered to ever come down and file your reports yourself instead of forcing me to chase you down, you'd know the extent of my progress."

Jack grinned, "But I like it when you chase me."

"Ugh, can we get back to the murders, please?" Owen asked. "I get nauseous whenever Jack starts flirting with Jones. Something about it is so...unnatural."

Now it was Jack's turn to look annoyed, but Ianto looked unperturbed, "Thank you, Owen. As I was saying, this is the ritual I believe the killer is using. It requires thirteen sacrifices, pure of body and spirit - "

Owen laughed disbelievingly, "Wait, they were all bloody virgins?"

"No," Tosh snapped. "'Pure' in this context simply means they must be cleansed of all ties. It has nothing to do with virginity - spirits and gods and demons don't even care about something like that, they can't even tell the difference. Humans are the only ones who place importance on something so stupid and arbitrary."

"All right, all right, don't bite my head off," Owen grumbled.

Ianto cleared his throat, "As I was saying, the ritual requires thirteen sacrifices to be offered up on the new moon of each month in the lunar calendar. Once completed, the killer will be granted a single boon from Asag."

"Who the hell is Asag?" Owen demanded.

"There's not many references to him, but he's a Sumerian demon of some power, considered so monstrous and so hideous that his presence alone would cause waters to boil. According to the information we have on the ritual, he grants one wish to those who sacrifice to him for a year - as long as the wish is destructive enough for his liking," Ianto finished, placing the controller down. "The last time this ritual was used was to create the Spanish Influenza pandemic in 1918."

"That was a spell?" Gwen asked, shocked.

Suzie shook her head, "Technically, that was a curse."

"Oh yeah," Jack said, snapping his fingers. "I remember that now - the report, I mean. It was this old man, his sons had all died fighting in the trenches and he was out for revenge. Didn't take into consideration that viruses spread, and it got out of hand." At Gwen's appalled look, Jack shrugged and elaborated, "It happens, sometimes. Someone you love dies, you get angry, turn to black magic, and then lose all control of everything. Granted, that was a bigger scale than normal, but it's not uncommon."

Owen rolled his eyes, saying, "Thanks for the history lesson, but how does that help us now?"

"The ritual is easy enough to stop. All we have to do is destroy the writing," Ianto replied, bringing up the information on the screens once again. "That will interrupt the developing link between the killer and Asag, and negate all the progress they've made. They'll have no choice but to start from scratch, if they're determined to continue."

"Excellent, good work," Jack smiled. "Pack your flamethrowers, boys and girls, we're burning that place down tomorrow."

"Can't say I'm not looking forward to it," Owen said. "That place is creepy as fuck."

Suzie stood up and stretched, "Well, if that's all, I'm going to go home and take a shower. Hopefully, that'll take care of any smells that I might have absorbed today."

"Oh, I didn't even think of that," Tosh frowned. "Does the smell of dried blood come out of clothes?"

"I bloody well hope so, this is my favorite jacket!" Owen groused, pushing back. "I hate this job, sometimes."

Gwen couldn't believe they were all leaving. "Hey, wait a minute! What about the killer?"

"What about the killer?" Owen asked impatiently. "You just heard the plan a minute ago, we're going to stop him from finishing the ritual and gaining scary powers - try to keep up."

"I can 'keep up' just fine, Owen," Gwen snapped. "I know what the plan was: we stop the ritual. But what if the killer starts all over again and murders more people? Shouldn't our goal be to catch him and put him away?"

Suzie didn't bother to listen further, just rolling her eyes and walking away. "I don't have to waste my time listening to this," she called back over her shoulder. "Jack, I'll be home if there's an emergency."

After exchanging a glance with Tosh, Owen spun on his heels and followed Suzie out, Tosh trailing after him with an apologetic look towards Jack. "I'll see you all tomorrow," she said, and was gone.

"I'll be in the tourist office, locking up," Ianto excused himself, looking troubled, and was gone in the next instant.

Angry that her teammates had abandoned her like rats on a sinking ship, Gwen turned her attention to Jack, the only one who hadn't left.

"Well?" she asked, crossing her arms. "What about the killer?"

Jack leaned back in his seat, looking deceptively casual. "Gwen, while I would love to catch the killer, Torchwood's mandate places emphasis on protecting the people of this country from supernatural and paranormal threats. Our main priority is to stop this ritual - we are not the police, it's not our job to catch murderers."

"But - "

"We don't have the manpower to focus on catching one killer; there are only six of us, Gwen, we have to focus our energies on what's important, otherwise we'll stretch ourselves too thin and we won't be of use to anyone," Jack continued, his expression brooking no arguments. "Besides, what would you do if you caught the person doing this - kill them?"

"What? No!" Gwen exclaimed, taken aback. "He could go to prison!"

"On what charges?" Jack challenged. " The police never found any leads when they had the case, and it's been months since we took over. We've contaminated any evidence or crime scene they might have investigated in the course of looking for this guy; all they would have is our word, and that's not good enough to put a man in prison for murder."

Gwen seethed, her mind racing as she tried to come up with a solution. "We could keep - "

"What? Keep him in the cells? For how long? Until he dies?" Jack shook his head. "No, Gwen. Our job is to stop the ritual as soon as possible. There's nothing we can do about finding the killer."

That didn't mean they couldn't try, Gwen thought resentfully.

-----

Gwen sat in her car, parked across the street from the closed up restaurant. It was dark and cold, and she thought longingly of the warmth of her bed (Rhys was practically a furnace), but catching the killer was more important.

It had occurred to her, as she was driving home, that Torchwood's presence at the restaurant earlier in the day couldn't possibly have gone unnoticed. People in the neighborhood had to have taken note, and that meant that there was a chance the killer knew their secret lair (or murder spot, or whatever they called it) had been found. Criminals often panicked when that happened and returned to the scene of the crime, thinking to double check that there wasn't any evidence laying around that could point to them.

If this killer heard about Torchwood's raid, then there was a good chance he might show up tonight, and Gwen meant to catch him if he did.

A knock came on her window, and Gwen nearly jumped out of her skin.

"It's me," Suzie said apologetically. "Sorry."

"What are you doing here?" Gwen asked as she lowered the window, heart still pounding against her ribs.

Suzie raised an eyebrow, "I should be asking you that. Does Jack know you're here?

Gwen flushed. "What Jack doesn't know won't hurt him."

Suzie shook her head disappointedly. "I suppose you think you're going to catch the killer by yourself? With no back-up?"

"I've got my gun," Gwen said defensively, holding it up. "And - "

"Whoever has been doing this is familiar with black magic, Gwen," Suzie said as she snatched the gun away, her face a grim mask. "A gun won't be enough to take someone like that down, especially if they've been studying more than just rituals!"

Feeling the heat crawl up her cheeks, Gwen nonetheless held her ground, despite the fact that Suzie was making her feel stupid. "Then I guess it's lucky for me that you're here," she snapped. Suzie suddenly started laughing, which made Gwen angrier. "What's so funny?"

"I was just thinking," Suzie shook her head slightly, and then pointed the gun at Gwen, flicking the safety off. "Owen was right: you won't make three months after all. Get out of the car."

Leaning back instinctively, Gwen found her gaze glued to the barrel. "What are you doing?" she demanded.

"Fixing a mistake," Suzie replied, and her face was deadly serious as she backed away a few steps. Her gun remained pointed at Gwen, however, and she continued, "Get out of the car, or I'll put a bullet in your head, and your boyfriend will be called out in the middle of the night to identify your body."

She said it so simply, almost conversationally, as if it would be nothing to carry out her threat, that Gwen's blood ran cold. Pale and frightened, she did as she was told, feeling like she was two seconds away from shaking apart at the seams. What was Suzie doing? Why was she doing this?

"Walk," Suzie ordered, gesturing with the gun. "We're going inside."

Obediently, Gwen started towards the restaurant building, though her knees felt as if they would give out at any moment. There was a part of her mind working frantically to think of a way out of this, but the greater part of her was still frozen in disbelief, unable to comprehend that this was even happening.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, her voice wavering. "What have I done to you?"

Suzie barked out a laugh. "What have you done? You followed us around and shoved yourself on our team as if you belonged with us! Do you know what it's like, to work and study and push through every injury, to prove yourself good enough - and then someone like you comes along? You're so oblivious to the realities of this job - it's pathetic! All you do is ask questions like a bloody nuisance! Do you know how much time I've wasted having to train you so that you're not a completely useless burden?"

"I - I didn't mean - " Gwen stammered, scrambling to defend herself.

"Shut up, I don't care!" Suzie snapped. "Keep walking!"

Gwen's mind was reeling. All this time, was this what Suzie had thought of her? She thought back to those hours spent together, learning to shoot (and actually being able to concentrate on learning) with Suzie on the range, going over the computer programs and alert protocols and what her response had to be... All that time, she'd thought of Suzie as a prickly, but well meaning friend - but it seemed that Suzie had felt nothing but resentment and hatred towards her.

She was expecting the interior of the building to be dark, but there was a camping lantern set up in the middle of the room that provided illumination, and a can of petrol next to it. There was also a chair there, and it was to this that Gwen was directed.

"Sit down."

Gwen did so, filled with trepidation, and was unsurprised when Suzie proceeded to tie her down. "Are you going to kill me?" she asked, and was surprised to find that her voice was steady, if no louder than a whisper.

Suzie stood back up and took several steps back, standing next to the light. "Yes," she said grimly. "I have to. You're the one who ruined it all. If I hadn't been forced to waste my time with you, I would've had plenty of time to dispose of that last body without having to store it, and everything would've been fine."

It should have been a surprise, the revelation that Suzie was the killer behind everything, but Gwen was beyond such feelings now. She was feeling numb, her mind slowly processing the truth of her mortality.

"It was your fault," Suzie insisted, and there was a crazed light in her eyes. "I only had three more sacrifices to make, do you know that? I was so close, and you ruined it!"

"You were killing people," Gwen said, and it was easier to feel something when thinking of the people Suzie had killed. "And for what? What were their lives worth?"

"It was necessary!" Shaking her head violently, Suzie turned away. "You don't know what it's like, you've only been here for a few weeks. I've been in Torchwood for seven years. Do you know what it's like, being the only human? Being the only vulnerable one? Tosh has powers to help her, Owen can distract things with his illusions when he's in danger, and Ianto - well, he's the biggest monster of them all, isn't he? Do you know how many new human agents I've seen die because they couldn't keep up with the others? It's impossible!"

Things were falling into place now.

"So you were going to, what, wish to be better than them?"

Angrily picking up the can of petrol, Suzie sneered, "Not to be better than them - just better than human! Good enough to keep going for another seven years!" She began to pour the petrol, walking around to the corners of the room, letting the flammable liquid spread over the ground. "But it's not over yet. Once I kill you, the others will be distracted and I'll have plenty of time to start over."

"To kill thirteen more people, in addition to the ten you've already murdered?" Gwen demanded shrilly, panic rising in her chest, her eyes starting to smart from the fumes. "Torchwood's job is to save people, to protect them from the supernatural - how can you justify murdering innocents in order to get more power?"

"Their sacrifice is necessary!" Suzie said defensively. "I know it's not right, and I wasn't happy to do it, but it was what needed to be done - do you understand? And when I finish the ritual, I'll be powerful enough to save more people and make up for everything!" Shaking her head and running her fingers through her hair, Suzie said calmly, almost to herself, "I just have to finish it, that's all. Things will be all right then, and we'll all go back to normal."

Jack's voice cut through the room: "It will never go back to what it was, Suzie."

Suzie whipped around in shock, even as Gwen began to laugh in relief.

Jack shook his head, eyes dark and disappointed, and he was pointing his gun at the woman who had been his second for so long. "Not after this."

"No, you're not supposed to - how did you - " Suzie started, dropping the can of petrol. "How did you know?"

Stepping further into the room, Jack shrugged in a careless manner, though his aim did not waver. "Did you know that vampires can detect it when people lie?" he asked. "I didn't know that, but, apparently, they can. Something to do with the rush of the blood and adrenaline changing the way your heart beats. Ianto didn't go much into detail, you know how he likes to be so mysterious."

"Ianto... No, this is wrong, this can't be happening!"

Backing away a step each time Jack advanced, Suzie stumbled over the camping lantern, shattering it on the ground. Immediately, the sparks ignited the fumes and the entire room went up in flames, fire rushing along the lines of petrol on the floor. Jack lunged forward, startling Suzie, who instinctively raised her gun and fired at him.

He stumbled to his knees, red blossoming over his shirt.

"Jack!" Looking horrified, Suzie dropped her gun, hands rising to clutch at her head. "I didn't mean to, Jack, I didn't - "

Screaming, Gwen began to struggle against the ropes, the heat searing her skin. Something grabbed the back of the chair and suddenly she was being dragged, chair and all, towards the exit. All she could do was try to remain still as Jack pulled her to safety, somehow ignoring his injury, and she saw it the moment Suzie realized everything was over, when the woman stopped panicking and simply began to stare at them through the inferno around her.

"Suzie!" Jack shouted, his voice hardly audible above the sound of the crackling flames. "Suzie, get out of there!"

"It wasn't supposed to be like this, Jack!" Suzie called out, tears in her eyes, looking lost. "It wasn't - Jack, it wasn't! I only wanted to help, if only I could be better - it was supposed to be better, Jack, I was going to be better!" She was sobbing, gasping for breath, and the light from the flames flickered over her face like something out of a nightmare. "I loved this job, Jack, I really did, and now it's all ruined - I don't know why - why couldn't I have been better? I just wanted to be able to do more - I, Jack, I just wanted - "

The ceiling crashed in, and she was gone.

-----

"This is what Torchwood sometimes does to people, Gwen." Jack looked tired, and old. "It can take everything good inside of you and twist it around, until you're nothing more than a shadow of the person you were."

He got up from behind his desk and walked out of his office, gripping the railings and gazing out over the Hub, eyes lingering over the others. They were all working in a subdued manner at their individual stations, and there was still an awkwardness in the air. Suzie's desk had been gone by the time they'd all arrived in the morning, but its absence was a greater presence in the room than had it still been there.

"I want you to take a day, think about whether or not this is still something you want," he continued. "Think about whether you can stay here, as my second, knowing that this might not be the first time you'll see a teammate die."

She thought about what had happened since she had been introduced to the real world underneath the one she'd always known: Torchwood, Carys, Lizzie, Suzie... She thought about the things she still didn't know, like what Owen was, what Tosh's ancestor had been, whether or not Ianto was allergic to garlic - and how, exactly, Jack was walking around in perfect health when his shirt had been soaked with his own blood the night before. How could she go back to not knowing at all, when the little she did know wasn't enough?

"I'll stay," Gwen said. "I want to stay, Jack."

Jack sighed.

"Think about it," he said again, and walked away.

END.

writing, challenge: au big bang, fandom: torchwood, series: if i die before i wake, fanfiction

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