A chat about the future
Wulf: *sitting rocksteady, hands in his lap, voice perfectly steady* I need to go back.
Jade: Is that so? :bounces Gram on her knee and looks at him sideways: Why?
Wulf: *watching Gram giggle, as if transfixed* He needs me. SHE needs me. *looking up at last, long black hair in his eyes* I need them. It's not right, I'M not right, but it's either that or the Gift, and Eru, it's sounding better by the day.
Jade: :meets his eyes steadily: Hani said she needed you?
Wulf: She needs...something. Someone. Maybe. *his gaze drops again, to the baby* I thought she said she did. Maybe it was just the way she looked. *quietly, bluntly* I don't mean sexually, Jade. I'm not that crass.
Jade: I never said you were. :pats his knee and turns back to the baby: I'm willing to let you leave, Wulf, you've been helpful here, and done nothing to make me think you'd turn rapist again. I just have to warn you, there are going to be some people, Helm especially, who won't be happy to see you alive again
Wulf: Helm I can handle. *his lip curls a little, but it's just habit* I'm none to fond of him either. I don't plan on socializing with-- ...did you just say I could?
Jade: :nods, letting Gram cling to her fingers: Your choice. I can let you out, keep you here, or send you on, though I can't tell you where I would be sending you. I've never been there.
Wulf: *very quietly* I want to go on. *with conviction* But I'm not done here, am I.
Jade: Not if you don't think so. There's your son, of course. :helps Gram wave at him:
Wulf: *softens slightly* I know. There he is, and I should be...done. And I'm not. I don't want to let go of what's mine.
Jade: So don't. :smiles a little, shaking her head: Listen, if you want someone to talk you out of it, you're asking the wrong person. I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't let go of what's mine, especially not family
Wulf: I noticed. *smiles, with some warmth* I just didn't expect you to be so understanding.
Jade: :laughs: I'm not heartless, you know. Of course I understand.
Wulf: I was pretty sure *I* was, for a long time. And that was all I needed. I don't know who I am any more. And I'm not sure if I should go from there or start over. *reaches out to touch Gram's chubby belly*
Jade: :frowns: Start over?
Wulf: You said once I could go back if I let myself be, ah, erased. It's not such a bad idea, but I'd forget this. *pokes the baby gently* I don't want to.
Jade: Oh, right. :offers Gram back: I'm not sure I'd feel right erasing you now anyway
Wulf: *wraps his arms around the baby, not protecting him from Jade, just savoring him* Maybe...for a little while? *the idea comes from nowhere, it seems, his eyes lighting up a little* Perhaps so I could ease back in, refind what I'm missing?
Jade: :thinks, watching father and son: It would be tricky, but I could do it, I guess. Is this what you want, then? Really?
Wulf: *thinks for a moment, then nods -- utterly certain* It'll be hard, having it come back, but maybe by then I'll be human again.
Jade: :nods slowly: Do you want me to do it now, or do you want to talk to Hani again first?
Wulf: *closes his eyes briefly* If you do it now, will you explain to her for me?
Jade: Of course. I should probably take Gram, though
Wulf: *blinks* I...yes...right now? All right. ... Will it hurt? I probabky deserve that.
Jade: I don't know. I don't think so, though. :takes Gram again and settles him on her lap, giving him a hug: Are you ready, then?
Wulf: No. But I'll never be. So now is as good a time as any. *a flash of nervousness in the way his hands clench in ihs lap, his shoulders hunch* Blank slate, then? I'll be able to, uh, talk, right? And other things? *he sounds like less dead and robotic than he has in you don't know how long...you've never seen him scared, not like this*
Jade: :pats his shoulder soothingly: You won't forget the basics, language and heritage and motor skills. At least, I'll be really careful about those. :shifts closer, holding Gram in her arms so she can rest both hands on Wulf: Relax, though, would you? Can't be good for you to be this tense
Wulf: All right. *oddly trusting, he lies back on the sofa, fingers digging into it* If she doesn't want me, you'll send me on?
Jade: Of course. :closing her eyes, she reaches out and in, knowing instinctively when she's found the right place and carefully covering over the selected bits of memory, making sure she can unveil them when she wants to. moving back into herself is easy, and she pats his arm gently as she lets go: All done
Wulf: *It didn't hurt. What didn't hurt? Something. Can't remember. But he smlies at her and rolls to curl up loosely on his side. staring curiously at the baby.* Thank you. *and he doesn't know why he said that*
Jade: My pleasure. I'm... actually not sure if you remember me. I'm Jade, Maia of Death, and you're in the Halls of Mandos, pending resurrection. This is Gram
Wulf: You look familiar. You feel familiar. *glancing around with mild curiosity, eyes a little glassy but definitely "there"* I died, then?
Jade: Yes. There's a form you'll need to fill out, but in the meantime, would you like some tea?
Wulf: *quick, uncertain smile* Uh, please? ...and do I like sugar?
Jade: :takes a steaming teapot out of thin air and pours him a cup: A bit. Here. :passes over the cup and the sugarbowl: There are cookies if you'd like one, too
Wulf: *shaking his head* Thanks but my stomach doesn't feel right. *shivering slightly now as his body belatedly realises that something major just happened* Cold here, isn't it?
Jade: Most of the dead don't mind, and the ones who do knit sweaters. Mind you, they're terrible sweaters, but thne, most fangirls don't count knitting as a useful Elf-hunting tool
Wulf: I...have no idea what any of that meant. *his gaze is a perfect mirror of confusion now, but he's comforted by her presence* I can fill out paperwork and go back?
Jade: :nods, smiling: Yes. I'd like you to wait a bit, though, there's someone who wants to see you before you do and I'm not sure when she'll be back.
Wulf: Someone I know? *frowning* I don't know anyone except you.
Jade: And Gram. You knew her once, and maybe you'll get to know her again. Drink your tea, Wulf. :pats his knee and pulls his blanket up to cover his shoulders:
Wulf: Tea...all right... *it's a little awkward to sip it on his side but he manages anyway, looking sleepy* I won't go anywhere.
Jade: Ok. If you need me, just call, and there are signs to my office, if you want to find me. :gives him one last pat and stands, Gram on her hip: Sleep well
Jade: Is that so? :bounces Gram on her knee and looks at him sideways: Why?
Wulf: *watching Gram giggle, as if transfixed* He needs me. SHE needs me. *looking up at last, long black hair in his eyes* I need them. It's not right, I'M not right, but it's either that or the Gift, and Eru, it's sounding better by the day.
Jade: :meets his eyes steadily: Hani said she needed you?
Wulf: She needs...something. Someone. Maybe. *his gaze drops again, to the baby* I thought she said she did. Maybe it was just the way she looked. *quietly, bluntly* I don't mean sexually, Jade. I'm not that crass.
Jade: I never said you were. :pats his knee and turns back to the baby: I'm willing to let you leave, Wulf, you've been helpful here, and done nothing to make me think you'd turn rapist again. I just have to warn you, there are going to be some people, Helm especially, who won't be happy to see you alive again
Wulf: Helm I can handle. *his lip curls a little, but it's just habit* I'm none to fond of him either. I don't plan on socializing with-- ...did you just say I could?
Jade: :nods, letting Gram cling to her fingers: Your choice. I can let you out, keep you here, or send you on, though I can't tell you where I would be sending you. I've never been there.
Wulf: *very quietly* I want to go on. *with conviction* But I'm not done here, am I.
Jade: Not if you don't think so. There's your son, of course. :helps Gram wave at him:
Wulf: *softens slightly* I know. There he is, and I should be...done. And I'm not. I don't want to let go of what's mine.
Jade: So don't. :smiles a little, shaking her head: Listen, if you want someone to talk you out of it, you're asking the wrong person. I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't let go of what's mine, especially not family
Wulf: I noticed. *smiles, with some warmth* I just didn't expect you to be so understanding.
Jade: :laughs: I'm not heartless, you know. Of course I understand.
Wulf: I was pretty sure *I* was, for a long time. And that was all I needed. I don't know who I am any more. And I'm not sure if I should go from there or start over. *reaches out to touch Gram's chubby belly*
Jade: :frowns: Start over?
Wulf: You said once I could go back if I let myself be, ah, erased. It's not such a bad idea, but I'd forget this. *pokes the baby gently* I don't want to.
Jade: Oh, right. :offers Gram back: I'm not sure I'd feel right erasing you now anyway
Wulf: *wraps his arms around the baby, not protecting him from Jade, just savoring him* Maybe...for a little while? *the idea comes from nowhere, it seems, his eyes lighting up a little* Perhaps so I could ease back in, refind what I'm missing?
Jade: :thinks, watching father and son: It would be tricky, but I could do it, I guess. Is this what you want, then? Really?
Wulf: *thinks for a moment, then nods -- utterly certain* It'll be hard, having it come back, but maybe by then I'll be human again.
Jade: :nods slowly: Do you want me to do it now, or do you want to talk to Hani again first?
Wulf: *closes his eyes briefly* If you do it now, will you explain to her for me?
Jade: Of course. I should probably take Gram, though
Wulf: *blinks* I...yes...right now? All right. ... Will it hurt? I probabky deserve that.
Jade: I don't know. I don't think so, though. :takes Gram again and settles him on her lap, giving him a hug: Are you ready, then?
Wulf: No. But I'll never be. So now is as good a time as any. *a flash of nervousness in the way his hands clench in ihs lap, his shoulders hunch* Blank slate, then? I'll be able to, uh, talk, right? And other things? *he sounds like less dead and robotic than he has in you don't know how long...you've never seen him scared, not like this*
Jade: :pats his shoulder soothingly: You won't forget the basics, language and heritage and motor skills. At least, I'll be really careful about those. :shifts closer, holding Gram in her arms so she can rest both hands on Wulf: Relax, though, would you? Can't be good for you to be this tense
Wulf: All right. *oddly trusting, he lies back on the sofa, fingers digging into it* If she doesn't want me, you'll send me on?
Jade: Of course. :closing her eyes, she reaches out and in, knowing instinctively when she's found the right place and carefully covering over the selected bits of memory, making sure she can unveil them when she wants to. moving back into herself is easy, and she pats his arm gently as she lets go: All done
Wulf: *It didn't hurt. What didn't hurt? Something. Can't remember. But he smlies at her and rolls to curl up loosely on his side. staring curiously at the baby.* Thank you. *and he doesn't know why he said that*
Jade: My pleasure. I'm... actually not sure if you remember me. I'm Jade, Maia of Death, and you're in the Halls of Mandos, pending resurrection. This is Gram
Wulf: You look familiar. You feel familiar. *glancing around with mild curiosity, eyes a little glassy but definitely "there"* I died, then?
Jade: Yes. There's a form you'll need to fill out, but in the meantime, would you like some tea?
Wulf: *quick, uncertain smile* Uh, please? ...and do I like sugar?
Jade: :takes a steaming teapot out of thin air and pours him a cup: A bit. Here. :passes over the cup and the sugarbowl: There are cookies if you'd like one, too
Wulf: *shaking his head* Thanks but my stomach doesn't feel right. *shivering slightly now as his body belatedly realises that something major just happened* Cold here, isn't it?
Jade: Most of the dead don't mind, and the ones who do knit sweaters. Mind you, they're terrible sweaters, but thne, most fangirls don't count knitting as a useful Elf-hunting tool
Wulf: I...have no idea what any of that meant. *his gaze is a perfect mirror of confusion now, but he's comforted by her presence* I can fill out paperwork and go back?
Jade: :nods, smiling: Yes. I'd like you to wait a bit, though, there's someone who wants to see you before you do and I'm not sure when she'll be back.
Wulf: Someone I know? *frowning* I don't know anyone except you.
Jade: And Gram. You knew her once, and maybe you'll get to know her again. Drink your tea, Wulf. :pats his knee and pulls his blanket up to cover his shoulders:
Wulf: Tea...all right... *it's a little awkward to sip it on his side but he manages anyway, looking sleepy* I won't go anywhere.
Jade: Ok. If you need me, just call, and there are signs to my office, if you want to find me. :gives him one last pat and stands, Gram on her hip: Sleep well