it's late and i should be sleeping
while mindlessly perusing one of my favorite blogs (cakewrecks.com) i came across an old entry that mentioned a memorial for a friend of the blogger whose child had died a time ago. they have a blog chronicling every moment of this child's life. They are also very religious, spiritual christians in the way of people whose faith inspires and helps us to have a hope and a wish of our own if that makes any sense.
i've spent the last hour or so reading their blog from the beginning. it's interesting to learn about people that you've never met and never will meet through their thorough dialouge on the internet. i really like them.
reading through their initial thoughts and feelings about their child and the experience and knowing the outcome and their later thoughts about the experience creates a very interesting and very thought provoking juxtaposition. How would each of us feel about the things that happened today if you knew how you would feel about it in two weeks? in a year? in ten years? While i think approaching situations with too much perspective can lead to selfishness and apathy, i think it's important to maintain perspective on our daily lives and events while still allowing ourselves to experience life presently and fully. How will i feel about the way i feel now in two months? how will my job work out? will i have a family? will i be happy? Overwhelming, for sure.
something else i think is very interesting is that they include verses from the bible in their blog that they seem to use in their daily lives and ponder in their thoughts with sincerity and good heartedness. this is something i have little experience with, having little experience with the bible and little experience with people who often quote it. i would like to read the bible and see if it brings comfort to me the way it seems to bring comfort to john and abby. i don't know that it will. i don't know that it won't, either.
something else i think is interesting is the realization of dreams and plans...we all have these ideal futures for ourselves and hopes and desires and for some people, things turn out just like they always wanted. but believe it is god or what have you, there are these times where things happen in a way that prevents us from realizing our dreams the way we planned them. i think john and abby's ability to accept that about their son is one of the most moving things that i have "experienced" in a long time. we have all of these "should bes" to encounter and apprehend day after day--the laundry should be done, the dishes should be done, my loans should be paid off, my boyfriend should have proposed to me by now, i should have a white dress, i should live in the suburbs, i should have completed my master's degree, i should have a better job, et. al--but what if the way things should be is the way they are? is this hard to accept or easy to accept? I haven't decided.
robert brought his philosophy of life to my attention the other day: things go the best way they can. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Having the idea that bad things happen to avoid something worse isn't exactly thrilling consolation, but it's better than anything else i've encountered. I also like the universal lean towards good and the open ended possibility of spiritual otherness.
also, my ankle is cold.
i guess what i have to say today is: appreciate what you have. take the time to enjoy things that make your heart sing, because happiness is fleeting and can never be recaptured in the same way. the dishes can wait, but you can't.
the end.
i've spent the last hour or so reading their blog from the beginning. it's interesting to learn about people that you've never met and never will meet through their thorough dialouge on the internet. i really like them.
reading through their initial thoughts and feelings about their child and the experience and knowing the outcome and their later thoughts about the experience creates a very interesting and very thought provoking juxtaposition. How would each of us feel about the things that happened today if you knew how you would feel about it in two weeks? in a year? in ten years? While i think approaching situations with too much perspective can lead to selfishness and apathy, i think it's important to maintain perspective on our daily lives and events while still allowing ourselves to experience life presently and fully. How will i feel about the way i feel now in two months? how will my job work out? will i have a family? will i be happy? Overwhelming, for sure.
something else i think is very interesting is that they include verses from the bible in their blog that they seem to use in their daily lives and ponder in their thoughts with sincerity and good heartedness. this is something i have little experience with, having little experience with the bible and little experience with people who often quote it. i would like to read the bible and see if it brings comfort to me the way it seems to bring comfort to john and abby. i don't know that it will. i don't know that it won't, either.
something else i think is interesting is the realization of dreams and plans...we all have these ideal futures for ourselves and hopes and desires and for some people, things turn out just like they always wanted. but believe it is god or what have you, there are these times where things happen in a way that prevents us from realizing our dreams the way we planned them. i think john and abby's ability to accept that about their son is one of the most moving things that i have "experienced" in a long time. we have all of these "should bes" to encounter and apprehend day after day--the laundry should be done, the dishes should be done, my loans should be paid off, my boyfriend should have proposed to me by now, i should have a white dress, i should live in the suburbs, i should have completed my master's degree, i should have a better job, et. al--but what if the way things should be is the way they are? is this hard to accept or easy to accept? I haven't decided.
robert brought his philosophy of life to my attention the other day: things go the best way they can. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Having the idea that bad things happen to avoid something worse isn't exactly thrilling consolation, but it's better than anything else i've encountered. I also like the universal lean towards good and the open ended possibility of spiritual otherness.
also, my ankle is cold.
i guess what i have to say today is: appreciate what you have. take the time to enjoy things that make your heart sing, because happiness is fleeting and can never be recaptured in the same way. the dishes can wait, but you can't.
the end.